AIBU to wonder why more people don’t use reusable nappies?

[KatyClaire]

I have a fairly new baby and I’m a little surprised at how few people I’ve encountered are using reusable nappies. I haven’t met anyone using them in my antenatal group / baby classes / local parents group etc. There has been such an explosion in the use of reusable products (sanitary products, straws, cups, make up wipes etc) that I had assumed it would have crossed into nappies as well.

I don’t know whether it’s a perception issue (people thinking they’re messy and hard to clean), the upfront cost, confusing information etc?

@89redballoons it isn’t anecdotal. On average, in the U.K., men will change fewer nappies than women (partly because women still take the majority of the parental leave because the uptake of shared parental leave is so low - but also because that situation is then perpetuated and women continue to be responsible for the majority of the childcare).

The situation being how it is, women are burdened with more of the expectation and pressure associated with parenting in the early years - and that includes nappies, what kind you’re using and why.

Were the situation reversed and men had to do the bulk of this, frankly, thankless drudge work, the majority would choose disposables every single time.

Oh gosh worried yes - the smell in a cloth family! And the child. And the bulk . And the nappy explosions ...

Because back at the time I lived in a one-bedroom flat with no outdoor drying space, and we'd have ended up with condensation dripping down the walls if I'd had to launder re-usable nappies on top of baby clothes.

@Worried830410 excellent example of reusable toilet paper (although some Facebook articles have shown people who actually do this to save money)! The thought is just gross...although funny like could be in a sketch show - his and hers reusable loo roll like towels!

Oh to those worried about nappy rash...its common for most babies is it not? There's also a simple solution to that - Sudocreme!

Not the frequency and extent in those in real nappies no.

You’re very judgmental for someone so new to the party, OP.

Are you also sanctimoniously ‘surprised’ when people don’t do other things like you?

FWIW I found them heavy, uncomfortable-looking, leaky and frankly a huge pain in the arse. I also had my washing machine going every damn day which somehow seemed worse.

I think thats what they wanted to believe though...!

I think it’s obvious why people don’t use them, they are a lot more work and not as convenient, if I was out and about and baby needed a change I also wouldn’t want to carry around a bag of poo with me tbh, I have 4 children so I already have mountains of washing and don’t really need any more adding to it, I also don’t have a tumble drier and things in my house take forever to dry as it is.

@TryingNotToPanicOverCovid

As several people have said above a big problem for many babies is the tendancy to nappy rash.

I was in some very hippiecircles where even contemplating that cloth nappies (and slings etc) werent perfect wasnt really the thing. Kind of like if you admit their babies have more rashes that would destroy their belief system.

2 babies had red raw skin but the parents were still saying how wonderful they were for using cloth and wouldn't try a disposable just while they heal at all.

I (being in that circle) tried cloth and was v keen but once mine got nappy rash quite badly we switched to disposable and didn't have a problem again.

The story from the nursery above is the same. And several others on the thread. Obviously all babies are different but often those quite evangelical about cloth have a set of beliefs that cant be challenged and wont try a disposable. With my first looking back I was similar about using a pushchair and didn't want to even when away as we were sling people.... sigh. I was more balanced with my second, but I do see the knots people get caught up in in those circles. ("Its no extra work" "love looking at cloth bums" "feel sorry for those in 'sposies"....)

Oh god, you've reminded me of when Ds was a baby. I lived in an area where it was all yurts in the garden and knit your own yogurt. No one had pushchairs, they all used cloths as slings. I was the odd one out by a mile.

I took Ds to a baby group and got a bottle of formula out to feed him. I got a really nasty comment from the woman running it. I was basically the devil from that day on. I sat in the corner on my own with Ds for the next few weeks while they looked at us pityingly and then stopped going. For a first time mum it was horrible.

@Worried830410

*Because you can always smell it when you enter the home of a 'cloth nappy family'. It stinks. And you probably can't smell it because you're used to it.*

Exactly this too!! And the child always has that slight pee smell lingering around them. My friends ds was like this. She was obviously used to it, but you just knew when he was around.

Poor kid. I know the exact smell you mean. Reminded me of chicken coops.

My baby also got a terrible nappy rash that would not clear. Until I went to disposables and they actually took the moisture away from the skin and gave it a chance to heal. Never had it since.

My sister uses them. Got them second hand, free from council or off Amazon. I think she spent £100 total??

She loves them, no nappy rash, no poonamis, 14m can walk just fine, clothes fit. Etc.

But she isn't so obnoxious to think they're "better" and can understand why people use disposable ones. She has used disposables for weekends away, when washing wasn't dry etc.

Also, it's just what "you do" isn't it. The world tells you that you buy nappies, wipes, dummies, bottles, top and tail baths etc. Some people don't question it. Some people do. ,🤷‍♀️

[quote Piglet89]@89redballoons it isn’t anecdotal. On average, in the U.K., men will change fewer nappies than women (partly because women still take the majority of the parental leave because the uptake of shared parental leave is so low - but also because that situation is then perpetuated and women continue to be responsible for the majority of the childcare).

The situation being how it is, women are burdened with more of the expectation and pressure associated with parenting in the early years - and that includes nappies, what kind you’re using and why.

Were the situation reversed and men had to do the bulk of this, frankly, thankless drudge work, the majority would choose disposables every single time.[/quote]
I agree that women, on average, do more childcare than men, including nappy changes. But it's also true that the majority of women choose disposables every single time.

I'm just not sure where your evidence for "men hate reusable nappies more than women" comes from, apart from anecdote or conjecture.

The smell is because they aren't washing the nappies properly.

People are being unnecessarily harsh to you OP

I didn't do it because I didn't see how I could practically get it to work and thought it sounded a faff. If I had my time again knowing what I do now I probably would. It's definitely become more prevalent in the last 5 years or so in experience - even Aldi sell them during baby events. I think there's a Higher take up in areas with baby groups both off and online that can offer support/reselling of second and third hand nappies

Men are pragmatists and, on average, they are lazier than women when it comes to childcare.

They don’t have the potential at the moment to hate reusable nappies more than women do because they’re not changing them. But if they had to, there’d definitely be a collective “f* this for a game of soldiers” and uptake on cloth nappies would plummet.

When my DD was 5 days old we went with her to a baby fair and spoke to the people on the 3 reuseable nappy stands there.

They didn't have any reusables that would fit her as a newborn as they only had nappies for newborns who were over 7 or 7 1/2 pounds. They, like a few other stall holders, were shocked that a full term baby could still be under 6 pounds. (Many of her cousins who are teen/adults who are over 5ft 9inches were born under 7 pounds.)

We then looked online at what our local council provided and they just had links to the same companies that were at the baby fair, even though the baby fair was in a different area.

At the same baby fair a supermarket offered us samples of size 0 reusable nappies, so we ended up buying those.

Previous posters on here told me I could have used certain things but as a mother of a newborn I didn't have the time to search for what to use.

Couldn’t be arsed, to put it bluntly.

I've not really much skin in this game anyway - as I said, we use a mixture of reusables and disposables. Reusables are convenient for us at home in our specific circumstances, but can totally see why they wouldn't be another time.

I haven't felt much pressure or judgement over nappies in the way I have over breastfeeding, screen time, sleep training/co sleeping etc, but I can well believe it's out there.

@dinosforall

Because when you have a newborn baby you have precious little headspace and time as it is?!

This.

It’s not anecdote either: the number of women who are unhappy with the uneven split of household duties once a baby arrives is huge. This is because, I’m afraid to say, many men do not pull their weight because they can’t be bothered.

I think it’s the mess! I used them occasionally when DS was tiny; it’s much easier now he is bigger and I can just tip the waste into the toilet. Hand-rinsing newborn poo out of nappies was unpleasant, difficult to manage with a cluster-feeding baby, and fucking tiresome!

I was curious about them but didn't even know where to start, how to buy them, use them, wash them. They seemed like they needed investment of time and money that I didn't have.

@Piglet89

Men are pragmatists and, on average, they are lazier than women when it comes to childcare.

They don’t have the potential at the moment to hate reusable nappies more than women do because they’re not changing them. But if they had to, there’d definitely be a collective “f* this for a game of soldiers” and uptake on cloth nappies would plummet.

I reckon if men had to change as many nappies as women, the majority wouldn't use cloth nappies because by and large they're not as convenient. As this thread shows, that's broadly the same reaction as women have. But this is conjecture - we are both imagining what would happen if men had to change as many nappies as women.

My husband is currently changing a cloth nappy and is about to take our 1 year old out for a walk in the baby carrier - again, though, that's anecdote

As far as the smell and nappy rash goes. This is another problem with reuseables, they introduce human error.
The nappies shouldn't smell and they shouldn't get nappy rash more. They're not being washed properly, and the babies probably aren't being changed enough.