I met up with someone from an online dating website a few years ago, when this person appeared at the station where we had agreed to meet up, it was as though I was dumbstruck. Almost a ringing in my ears, feeling as though my limbs had become part jelly, and a wild inexplicable parade sensations coursing through my veins - a feeling of euphoria. Strangely though, coupled with tremendous self-consciousness.
I'm not normally like that on a first date, far from it. For some reason, I couldn't stop myself saying how attractive this person was (the photos had given no indication of this, they were quite “normal”. Embarrassingly, I remember saying it more than a few times. Cringe.
Despite all this, we agreed to meet up for a second date... the impact on me only worsened, except this time I had to endure those crippling sensations for several hours. I remember sitting almost hunched over, talking barely above a whisper... it was as though every once of self confidence had been sapped out of me.
Obviously, my date didn’t agree to meet me again. Several years later, this person still overwhelms me just to think about. It is as though all of your wishes and fantasies became personified in one person and you almost cannot believe it and are too dazed and over-awed and overwhelmed to function properly.
I still wonder what would have happened if this person had met the real me, if I’d been able to control my reaction better. Lots of what ifs... these memories still have a powerful impact and sadden me and have me lost in beautiful memories in turns.
How do I shake off this mad nonsensical limerence? I never even got to know this person! Has this happened to you? What causes it? How did you deal with it?