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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Friend trying to scare me about vaccine

58 replies

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:37

She has never said in the past that she wouldn't be getting the vaccine or anything against it .
She currently lives in another country and I'm not sure how the rollout is doing there.

Anyway I have an appointment today for it as I am a care worker. I told her and first of all she said "Well I'm crossing my fingers you won't get horrible side effects!"

I then said that I had certainly had a few friends/colleagues who had had a hangover like feeling the next day but nothing too serious.

She then replied that 'sometimes the more serious effects take a while to show, I guess you'll see!"

I really don't get the point of saying that, trying to scare me. I am still getting it. I respect people who don't want it that's their choice, but the vaccines wouldn't have been approved if they caused severe side effects in many people.
Am i being overly sensitive?

OP posts:

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:39

She also said that people who are travelling atm (from countries where it's permitted) should not be posting photos on social media, even if it's permitted, not in lockdown etc.

OP posts:

Godimabitch · 03/02/2021 09:42

Just shut the conversation down. Everyone can have their own opinion on the vaccine and all medications/procedures. But you shouldn't try to influence someone's decision. Just a one word acknowledgment, or just "mm" then move the conversation to something else. This is what I do when people give me baby advice

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:44

Yeah, you're right, the thing is she hasn't said or suggested she isn't going to get the vaccine herself. I might be overthinking it but I feel like she's unhappy about her own situation, which I can totally understand, and is trying to shoot down others' good news.

OP posts:

Cpl654321 · 03/02/2021 09:45

I would just run the opposite back in her face since she feels so free to comment.

"Actually am so excited about the vaccine"

"Yes side effects, well sometimes that just happens, oh well!"

"Aw Susan, sorry you're scared, but as you can see I'm just FINE"

I mean maybe you are being a bit sensitive but I'm one of those people who ramps up the "kill them with kindness" when people are negative or trying to scare me in an unfounded and ridiculous way

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:46

Yeah maybe I should! It's just odd as they would not have been approved if they caused anything serious.

OP posts:

Hadjab · 03/02/2021 09:47

Was she trying to scare you or was she being factual? My son had his first vaccination last Thursday, he had a migraine for 48hrs, as did two of his colleagues who had theirs the same day. If someone told me they were getting the jab today, I’d probably say the same thing.

HighSpecWhistle · 03/02/2021 09:49

YANBU seems a bit of a bitter, underhanded thing to say. Although I'd forget about it now.

And I don't respect people who don't get it. Yes, it's their choice, but I don't respect their choice. I think it's selfish and idiotic tbh.

HighSpecWhistle · 03/02/2021 09:50

@Hadjab

Isn't that better than getting long Covid though? Or passing it onto someone who dies?

Surely we can all put up with a two day migraine for the sake of sanctity of life (and most don't get a proper migraine anyway).

DenisetheMenace · 03/02/2021 09:50

Ignore.
Can’t remember which one, think it was the tweedy suit Prof. with the bow ties and the grand panelled office, said on PM the other day that side effects in older people was actually a good sign, common indication of a strong immune system response.
Really pleased you’re getting it, can’t wait for ours.

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:50

Well as I said I've got friends who felt Ill with headaches etc. For a day or so after and that may happen.
But she went further to say that serious effects might take a while so I 'guess I'd find out '.

OP posts:

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:52

Thank you, hope you will soon !

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Butterymuffin · 03/02/2021 09:53

Has she always been someone who looks for possible downsides in things? I would just go quiet on her for a bit and save yourself the negativity. The side effects of Covid are potentially a lot worse, but she is conveniently overlooking that!

ButterMeUpScotty · 03/02/2021 09:54

I had mine yesterday and have a sore arm. That’s it. My husband was the same. The way I see it is even if the vaccine causes some side effects or worse kills a minority of people (NOT LIKELY!) it is still worth having because if we don’t, we’re never going to get out of this and we are all going to die miserably trapped in our homes anyway.

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:55

Yeah i dunno if I am just overthinking but she is certainly somebody who tries to find the negative in things!

OP posts:

Original poster

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:57

An example was in our training course we did together. I got a very high mark which I was proud of. Just mentioned it once, didn't gloat or anything. She said 'oh well, it's just going to make things harder for you next term ' with a smirk.

OP posts:

tofuschnitzel · 03/02/2021 09:57

There's just no need for her to say any of that to you, is there? It doesn't sound like she's motivated by concern. I think you are right not to feel comfortable with her comments. I would reply something like you think the benefits outweigh the risks, you are very happy to have the vaccine, etc.

blanco90 · 03/02/2021 09:59

If ONLY we had a regulatory system that rigorously tested products for impacts on human health before putting to market! OH WAIT...!

No medical / health sciences degree = no opinion

rainbowunicorn · 03/02/2021 10:03

Your friend really does not sound like much of a freind to be honest.

TakeTheCuntOutOfScunthorpe · 03/02/2021 10:04

I've not had a vaccine yet and am unlikely to be offered one in the near future. I probably will take it when the time comes because the benefit of not getting Covid is bigger than the risk of side effects.

Your friend is fair enough in pointing out that all injections carry a risk of side effects though. There's a big difference between side effects that are unpleasant but ultimately harmless (cold/flu symptoms or a big bruise on the arm that lasts for a few weeks) and effects the regulators will be worried about (ones that cause long term harm or fatalities).

I usually skip the flu vaccine because the risk flu poses to me is small compared to the horrific reaction I usually get from it. But with Covid, I will have to take the chance and have the vaccine I think.

Interestingly(?) the view seems to be that people who normally get bad reactions to the flu vaccine might not necessarily get a similarly unpleasant reaction from the Covid one - and presumably therefore, vice-versa.

Ultimately it's a risk you have to weigh up - benefit versus potential harm.

RoseyOldCrow · 03/02/2021 10:06

Well said, @blanco90

I had the vaccination a couple of weeks ago (ECV) & was one of the approx 1/3 of recipients who have mild covid symptoms. They lasted two days & made it very clear to md that I don't want to get the real thing, nor do I want anyone else to get it!

My cousin is totally antivax (has been for decades) & also believes the 5G nonsense. I just ignore him, there's no point in engaging, he won't change.

I hope your friend gets the vaccination & not the disease.

WitchesBritchesPumpkinPants · 03/02/2021 10:08

Maybe you could ask MN to change your thread title, lots of people are already worried about getting it snd just seeing your thread title will add to that.

I'd suggest something like 'my so called friend is an idiot'

Personally I can't wait, if I'm unwell for a few days, I'll cope, I'll thank my body for doing its job! (& I expect to be unwell as I'm
Diabetic and I'm expecting this to upset my blood sugars & make me feel utterly shit, Covid would be FAR worse 🤷🏻‍♀️)

SlothMama · 03/02/2021 10:08

I'd ignore her, I'd take mild side effects over ending up on a ventilator anyday.

DenisetheMenace · 03/02/2021 10:11

“Interestingly(?) the view seems to be that people who normally get bad reactions to the flu vaccine might not necessarily get a similarly unpleasant reaction from the Covid one - and presumably therefore, vice-versa“

Yes heard this too.
Purely anecdotally, mum usually gets sore arm and a couple of days of feeling a bit ropey after ‘flu jab. Nothing whatsoever after Covid jab (AZ).

AlternativePerspective · 03/02/2021 10:14

Well, from your last post clearly this isn’t a one off. I can’t be doing with people like that in my life and would just stop communicating personally.

As for people “needing to warn you about side effects”, what rubbish. She isn’t a dr or a scientist, she hasn’t had the vaccine personally, as such she knows nothing.

I take a drug for my heart the potential side effects of which can be:

Damage to the liver
Damage to the thyroid
Scarring on the lungs,
Sensitivity to sunlight.

Those warnings come on the box thank you very much, I have blood tests to confirm I don’t have some, and the others I only look up if I develop something out of the ordinary when starting a new drug e.g. I took cyclozine for nausea/vomiting and my heart rate shot up to 180BPM within 30 seconds of the drug being put into a drip. As I rang the bell I also looked up the side effects online to see if it was that and it was. Other than that I would have no need to care.

If everyone panicked about the potential side effects of any medication they take no-one would ever take anything, even though the side effects would be unlikely to happen to them.

TheWernethWife · 03/02/2021 10:14

I had mine on Monday (1/2/21) had a sore arm on Tuesday, nothing now.

The whole procedure was like clockwork, go in, have jab, wait for 15 mins and then out through another door. Very well done.

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