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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Friend trying to scare me about vaccine

58 replies

Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 09:37

She has never said in the past that she wouldn't be getting the vaccine or anything against it .
She currently lives in another country and I'm not sure how the rollout is doing there.

Anyway I have an appointment today for it as I am a care worker. I told her and first of all she said "Well I'm crossing my fingers you won't get horrible side effects!"

I then said that I had certainly had a few friends/colleagues who had had a hangover like feeling the next day but nothing too serious.

She then replied that 'sometimes the more serious effects take a while to show, I guess you'll see!"

I really don't get the point of saying that, trying to scare me. I am still getting it. I respect people who don't want it that's their choice, but the vaccines wouldn't have been approved if they caused severe side effects in many people.
Am i being overly sensitive?

OP posts:
vodkaredbullgirl · 03/02/2021 10:17

I've had the Pfizer vaccine, no side effects only a sore arm for a day or two. Where I work Oxford was given to the residents, the staff had the Pfizer.

Lampsank · 03/02/2021 10:17

With the exam comment as well, she sounds a bit like a 'friend' who can't bare to see others do well, and hopes to take the shine off by bringing you down a peg or two. I can see why she might say oh hope you're okay after your jab, I have heard some people have bad side effects so make sure you have some stuff in the house for tomorrow in case- that's factual, but also supportive and the kinda thing I would expect a friend to say.

Spied · 03/02/2021 10:19

Her comments scream jealousy.
If she was eligible she'd be the first one there with her arm held out.

inquietant · 03/02/2021 10:19

I don't think she said very much, just don't discuss with her. I voted yabu because I don't think her comments were very strong - I was expecting the full.bloen conspiracy crap!

unmarkedbythat · 03/02/2021 10:21

She doesn't sound like someone whose opinion I'd take into account and tbh I don't think I'd want to bother with her much at all.

LivingMyBestLife2020 · 03/02/2021 10:21

She sounds jealous OP.

I had mine on Sunday. My arm was quite tender the next day and I had aches in my neck back but I honestly felt fine, as do the majority of people.
Good luck! I was so excited for mine

emotionalpuddle · 03/02/2021 10:22

She sounds dreadful OP (especially following your update about your grade) and not a true friend... I'm a health care worker, had my vaccine a week ago and apart from a 'dead arm' the day after I was absolutely fine. No one in our hospital that I've spoken to had anything more than a headache 🤷🏼‍♀️ good luck ☺️

TellingBone · 03/02/2021 10:22

Sounds to me like she's frightened of getting the vaccine herself and is obliquely asking for reassurance without appearing to do so.

AdobeWanKenobi · 03/02/2021 10:37

Ugh. Why are people like this? My SIL ran this campaign with MIL telling her how everyone where she works was so ill (care home) and we’re for days. MIL is old and impressionable and was wavering.
As it transpires MIL had no side effects whatsoever.

Some people just like to fearmonger. It’s bloody irresponsible at the best of times but in the midst of a pandemic it’s potentially life threatening. Your friend is not much of a friend.

MrFlibblesEyes · 03/02/2021 10:43

I reacted worse the flu jab than the covid jab! Just had a slight sore arm for a couple of days after the covid one, whereas I felt very achey and rough after the flu one. We currently have a few cases of covid in the home I work at and I am yet to catch it but the few staff who have tested positive are all completely asymptomatic so hopefully the first dose if offering us some protection.

pumpkinbump · 03/02/2021 10:47

She may just be concerned about you rather than trying to scare you. I am also skeptical about the vaccine. Ordinarily it takes years to produce one, I just worry they don't know much about the side effects yet and it feels rushed. Because of that, I am going to put off having it. I'm not going out and working from home so it's not pressing for me.

recklessruby · 03/02/2021 10:50

My mum is nearly 80 and had the covid jab last Saturday. Apart from a sore arm and a bit of a headache next day she was fine.
My age group wont be getting it till around late April/may according to the website but I m happy to have it. I work in a school.
I also have a cousin who is anti vax and believes the conspiracy theories.
He spouts this crap on Facebook despite being a pretty normal guy previously.
I dont engage with it.
If you're happy to get the jab just ignore your friend. We are all free to make up our own minds.

Original poster
Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 10:57

Yes maybe she is just scared herself of it, I didn't think about it. It's just that she's a person who often tries to see the negative as I said so I automatically thought that.

Like I have another friend who I told and she just said "I am not going to have it" that was it and I respected her choice.

I just find it hard to see if she's doing stuff out of concern or to try and make me feel bad. Like I told her I was moving into a flat share with 4 guys but that I had my own ensuite, kitchenette etc. And she just said "4 guys, yep that's gonna be so hard".

Then I told her that a mutual friend hadn't contacted me for ages and she put, "oh well guess what, she's just messaged me 😀".

OP posts:
MumW · 03/02/2021 10:58

Both my parents and my FIL have had 2 doses, my MIL has had one. Only side effects they had were a sore arm. It's 4 weeks since my parents had theirs and no long term side effects yet.
My parents' neighbour has just died from COVID.
If I was offered one this minute, I'd jump at it.

Original poster
Lychee234 · 03/02/2021 11:17

I asked her and she denied anything and said she was just wondering about side effects, so maybe I was wrong.

OP posts:
Butterymuffin · 03/02/2021 11:44

No, given all the other info she sounds like she enjoys pointing out negatives and getting people to worry. This time you called it out and she didn't like it. I would keep saying 'ah, it's a shame you feel that way' now to every negative comment.

goose1964 · 03/02/2021 11:48

My daughter had a dead arm the day after hers, but otherwise she was fine.

murbblurb · 03/02/2021 12:00

sounds like someone who is a good candidate for reduced contact. Boring conversation!

MatildaStoker · 03/02/2021 12:01

Given your updates, it sounds like she’s the sort of person who likes to see the negative side of everything.

I’d try to ignore negative comments from her as much as possible. Whatever the subject you’re talking about is.

As for vaccine side effects - well, compared to the known risks of actually catching covid, I’d take my chances with the possible unknown risks of the vaccine any day. I’ll be having the vaccine as soon as I’m eligible for it.

And FWIW, DH had the covid vaccine (the Pfizer one), and the worst thing he was complaining about was a sore arm for a few days afterwards.

MumW · 03/02/2021 12:42

Ordinarily it takes years to produce one
I read that the things that normal take time is securing funding, sourcing voluteers for testing etc. In both these weren't an issue for this vaccine's development.
Also, I believe that, after Sars etc, there was already ongoing research being done to enable vaccines to be fast tracked for such pandemic senarios.

I'll see if I can find a link as the article was very interesting.

MumW · 03/02/2021 12:52

BBC News - Oxford vaccine: How did they make it so quickly?
www.bbc.co.uk/news/health-55041371

covid.joinzoe.com/post/how-covid-vaccine-so-fast

Peacocking · 03/02/2021 13:00

I was fine after my first, rough as anything for about 4 days after my second. I'm on biologics for a chronic condition, which is probably the reason. Absolutely worth having despite feeling ill. We can all handle a few days of feeling very rough if we have to, to avoid having serious illness or passing serious illness to others. Yes, this vaccine can make you feel really quite unwell for a while and I do think that should be more widely talked about as it was a total shock to me. But its nothing to be scared or frightened of, more just to approach with a weary sigh, and some paracetamol!

Sphagnum · 03/02/2021 21:31

She sounds horrible, ignore her.

Paintedmaypole · 03/02/2021 21:38

I had no ill effects at all from the vaccine, not even a sore arm. In any sase I think a headache for a day or asore arm is well worth it t be protected fro Covid. I would just nod and ignore

SnackSizeRaisin · 03/02/2021 22:28

She sounds like the sort of person who, if she was offered the vaccine before you, would accept it immediately and go on about how she hoped you wouldn't die of covid whilst waiting for the vaccine.

Seriously though it's rare for vaccines to have any side effects that crop up later on. They are designed to give the immune system an immediate kick, which is why side effects tend to come on quickly and go away within days. Vaccines are generally far safer than ibuprofen or the contraceptive pill, in terms of serious side effects. Also far far safer than childbirth, smoking, being obese, or many other choices people make.