To think a Sunday or Friday wedding will have fewer guests than a Saturday one

[Fressia123]

We're on the very first steps of the wedding planning. It's a Jewish one so it can't happen on a Saturday before sunset. I've seen that most packages wouldn't really cater for an evening wedding (some do!) But hotels really want sit down meals and simply there would be no time for that (and a party!) So one option is to have it on the Friday, but I'm thinking of inviting my boss and some other colleagues and I'd doubt they'd come. On Sunday we think that some people wouldn't come to the evening bit as there's work the next day...

Friday is better than a Sunday. Where I live there’s no difference between Friday and Saturday weddings, people just don’t like Sunday-Thursday.

Pre kids I’ve been to a few weekday weddings. Now with school age children I’d struggle as need all my AL days for school holidays.

Sunday would be fine, as I’m weekdays only, and a Friday would potentially work as I finish at 11am. But then what do I do with the kids? if it’s term time, they’d need collecting from school.

That being said, it’s hour day, do it how you want

I love a Friday wedding personally, but depends how far it is and what jobs those you really want to come do. Teaching is the main one where it could be impossible.

Friday is preferable to Sunday generally unless your mum/sister/best friend is a teacher.

I'd go for Friday. People will be more likely to stay for the evening. Not many will stay in the evening on a Sunday.

Is Sunday before a bank holiday Monday an option?

Surely Friday will have the issue that Sabbath starts at sunset?

Friday does bring the issue of Shabbat starting at sunset, but what's mostly a no-no is to do the ceremony and sign the ketubah on Shabbat, that wouldn't happen as it would be before sunset. As we're not orthodox, I think the party side of things should be ok. We're meeting the rabbi today so we'll ask her.

A friend's DD had a Sunday wedding. The day guests were fine, but more than half of the evening guests accepted then just didn't turn up.

Friday during the day will be a PITA for some parents, unless you're planning a kid-friendly wedding.

So from my experience, I'd say Friday but child-friendly for all, or Sunday but don't have a two-tier guest list, make it in an accessible place and aim to finish early-ish - 10 at the latest (Scottish weddings usually go on to 1am but friend's DD's dance floor was empty by 10.30).

Or go more DIY - hall with a caterer type thing and do it on a Saturday but have the food to suit - big buffet bbq lunch or afternoon tea type thing.

Friday is better as people don’t have work the next day and I figure if people won’t take a day off for my wedding I’m not too fussed about them being there

Bank holiday weekend ?
But I don't get why sundown on Friday is not an issue? Sorry for my ignorance here.

In my experience, people who love you will move heaven and earth to be there irrespective of the day of the week. There are some professions (medicine, teaching for example) where it out of their hands and so you just have to not take it personally or only do a weekend.

There are so many delayed weddings and so many restrictions it's an opportunity to plan something different? Why not do a traditional wedding breakfast, married mid morning on a Sunday, long lunch and dancing. A lot will wrap up and go home around 7/8pm but you could go off on honeymoon or to a swanky hotel for the night and do the traditional "leaving outfit", decorated car... the lot?

Is yours the first Jewish wedding that’s ever taken place? I can’t believe you’re asking - what do the rest of your community do?

It's October so no bank holidays. Before (and I don't mean that long ago like 100 years ago) having a reception on Shabbat isn't a problem as the signing of the contract happens before it. The issue is that if you're orthodox, no cameras, lights, etc can be used. We aren't so it should be okish.

Our community is tiny! Ours is the second wedding that has happened since our "chapter" was created and our baby was the first born after 18 years!

The other wedding I know happened on a Saturday evening but they had a buffet type thing.

Sunday before a Bank Holiday Monday would be ideal.

Apart from that it depends how far your guests would be travelling. On a Sunday evening in your home town then you could probably stay to a decent length of time for a party if you wanted to. If it was three hours away then you couldn’t (and might not want to drink at the wedding breakfast either).

Basically for a home town wedding Sunday is much better because a lot of guests won’t have to take a day off work, but for a distant wedding Friday and Sunday are equal because so many guests would need to take a day off for either.

Would all your Jewish family guests be fine with a Friday night party? (I guess if the ones who’d be observing would be older and you hold it at midsummer then they could attend until 9pmish anyway).

@StrangerHereMyself you make a good point, the more observant and older could leave before sunset, and problem solved. (The average is 75yo anyways!)

Depends if people can get the Friday or Monday off work?

I would be inviting the CEO obviously he can... Od be inviting around 5 from work for the ceremony but I still find it a bit odd. My DPs team is even small (like 5) so the whole business would have to close for the day... So don't think so!

Except that in October sunset is no later than 6:30pm

Now you’ve explained I think that your best bet would be to find a way to do it on Saturday, ideally after the clocks go back. Have you always dreamed of a big formal all day wedding or would you be OK with a simple ceremony at half past five in the afternoon followed by a big party with lots of food?

I’d go for Sunday as a Friday night wedding doesn’t sit comfortably with me. As the Friday night is the pre wedding Friday night dinner! Having said that if you did a Friday you could do the wedding and then a traditional Friday night dinner with lovely challahs and candles on all the tables which could be really lovely

We has a Sunday wedding as the minimum numbers were too high for Saturdays. We had a lot of teachers attending so Saturday worked better for them than a Friday. Those who were travelling or wanting to drink a lot were happy to take Monday leave. Those who had work on Monday didnt drink silly amounts but still stayed to the end. I can't think of anyone who didnt make it due to the day.

I would go with a Friday. As long as you give people enough time to get time off work. And if they don't come, I wouldn't be fussed, saves you some money!! So many people work shift work now days anyway

I'm happy with all of it just happening in the evening. Ceremony isn't that long ago I think the evening guests could start arriving around 7. We've always been more about canapés and bubbly and then a buffet (with the evening guests) BUT it seems that some places don't do it that way.

You just need to stop telling people you’re booking a wedding and say you’re booking a party. This is actually a good strategy for anything wedding related, if your heart isn’t set on the full princess experience. It saves you a bomb. Suddenly canapés and bubbly and a buffet become a completely reasonable thing to ask. Trickier if you’re having the ceremony at the venue of course.

Not knowing anything about Jewish weddings so I apologise here...
Would it be acceptable to do the Legal bit at the Register Office at a different time, and have a Saturday Evening religious blessing and Reception.

Yes, we're having the ceremony at the venue, so they have to know it's a wedding!

My Jewish friends (not orthodox) reordered the day to suit the sunset - also in October. They had a sit down meal, then ceremony just after sunset, then toasts etc then party.