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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Family of 4 in 2 bedroom flat.

80 replies

JessicaH1 · 02/02/2021 19:06

Hi all, sorry if this is posted in the wrong place, i wasn't sure where to post. Baby number 2 is on its way in a couple of months and myself , parter & toddler all live in a small 2 bed flat. Any advice from people in similar situations on how to make this work long term? I feel like we are going to be cramped, but dont really have any options for moving as its (morgaged) and super cheap for us.

OP posts:
Original poster
JessicaH1 · 03/02/2021 08:29

I never said it was unusual/ strange. I was just asking for ideas on how people make it work long time. I dont need the rude comments.

OP posts:
foxhat · 03/02/2021 08:46

I've known friends move and extend the mortgage term rather than amount. After mat-leave perhaps that might be an option? Meanwhile lots of great tips on here about storage and rationalising possessions. Do you have any loft space to rotate toys around in? If not then are there toy libraries you can borrow from rather than buying?

theruffles · 03/02/2021 08:47

We live in a 2 bedroom house with a toddler and expecting DC2 soon. DC2 will be in with us for the first 6 months and will then move in to DC1's room, which does have space for a cot and a bed but no room for a second wardrobe, etc. We've tried to make use of the space we do have elsewhere in the house, even if it's not conventional. DC2's clothes are stored in the bathroom, which is unnecessarily large. The towels and bed linen has been moved elsewhere and we've used Ikea fabric boxes and installed a hanging rail in the bathroom cupboard for DC's things.

See if you can swap bulkier furniture for smaller/slimline alternatives. DC1's bulky changing table has been swapped for a smaller chest of drawers for extra storage and a slimmer changing table we've put in the bathroom so we don't disturb her at night when changing DC2. We've also been on a bit of a decluttering spree and got rid of anything that we're not using so it's not taking up valuable space.

Bluntness100 · 03/02/2021 08:55

I think the critical thing to think through is storage

Bunk beds if you can’t get two beds side by side, if you can get two singles side by side, then divan beds. Kids tend to need a lot of stuff, so making sure you have the storage solutions in place which fits along side any bedding is important.

HikeForward · 03/02/2021 09:20

Is moving an option?

I think it will be fine for the first 6 months as baby will be in with you, after that the kids may not want to share or keep waking each other up. Can you divide the room eg to keep baby away from older child’s toys?

Also what if you want your mum/sister/MIL etc to stay and help, where will they sleep? If they’re on the sofa in the lounge it will feel very cramped and they’d have no privacy.

steppemum · 03/02/2021 09:28

we did this when kids were small.
Actually had 3 kids in the end Shock

clever storage is the answer. Kids get used to sharing very quickly, toddler slept through baby waking in the night within a few days.
We had floor to ceiling cupboards in a couple of places, underbed toy storage.
Can't have bunks until toddler is old enough for top bunk (officially 6, but mine went in at 4)

Pathetic32 · 03/02/2021 09:48

Also what if you want your mum/sister/MIL etc to stay and help, where will they sleep? If they’re on the sofa in the lounge it will feel very cramped and they’d have no privacy.

You do realise that this is how tonnes of UK households live, don't you?

It's been normal to me my whole life to live in flats. I grew up as one of four siblings in a two bedroom flat.

Most of us would move if we could. The reason we don't is because we can't.

steppemum · 03/02/2021 09:52

one thing we did was to put a bbay gate on thebedroom door.
The kids bedroom was off the living room, so with the door open, you could still see everyone.

My ds, who was 6 by the time we moved, played with his small peice lego etc in the bedroom, while the baby crawled roudn the living room.
It gave him his own space.

steppemum · 03/02/2021 09:55

@HikeForward

Is moving an option?

I think it will be fine for the first 6 months as baby will be in with you, after that the kids may not want to share or keep waking each other up. Can you divide the room eg to keep baby away from older child’s toys?

Also what if you want your mum/sister/MIL etc to stay and help, where will they sleep? If they’re on the sofa in the lounge it will feel very cramped and they’d have no privacy.

well, we had 3 kids in a 2 bed flat until they were 6, 4 and 18 months. Then we moved to a 2 bed house. better, but still 3 sharing.

Finally moved into a bigger place when they were 8, 6 and 3.

It was fine.
We didn't have people to stay, or if they did they slept on the sofa. that is life. You gte on with it and make it work.

ShastaBeast · 03/02/2021 10:11

Family and friends had to sleep on the sofa bed. It was tough. Same as if we had three bedrooms but the two kids had their own rooms. Spare bedrooms while your kids are growing up are a luxury. A four bed house nearby would cost £750k minimum vs £350k for a two bed flat. Living in a smaller place has enabled us to save a lot of cash as well as buy nice cars outright, enjoy fancy holidays etc. We are now looking at buying in the four bed budget and the kids still don’t want to sleep alone.

We switched our living room and bedroom so we have a sofa bed in the bedroom too, then guests can use the bunk beds while kids are in with us. It also gives us an extra lounge space when the kids take over the living room.

Original poster
JessicaH1 · 03/02/2021 10:11

We arnt too worried about having family over to stay. All of my family live close by so they wouldn't, my partners family stay at his parents of they visit. Weve lived in our flat for 3 years and have never had anyone stay over

OP posts:
Original poster
JessicaH1 · 03/02/2021 10:16

I think im going to convince my partner to swap the bedrooms around at some point, all we do is sleep & get ready in ours. If the kids had our bedroom all of the toys could go in there.

OP posts:
SchrodingersImmigrant · 03/02/2021 10:16

Agree with others. Storage can make big difference. Go under and up.
When I was young we had bunk beds with shelves on the wall for some stuff. Later we had raised beds, 1 m or so, with drawers and cupboards underneath. Shelves above. Shelves on the wall under ceiling are great storage too. And out of way.
43sqm is pretty tight, but with smart storage it's absolutely doable.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/02/2021 10:44

Op how old is your toddler and are both babies the same sex?

ginnybag · 03/02/2021 11:04

Easily affordable mortgage means less financial stress, and more disposable income.

It's not great currently, but we won't be in lockdown forever and having more free cash is a benefit in the medium and long term. We've chosen to stay in our 2-bed terrace for the same reason. Yes, it's a little cramped sometimes, but we have a smaller mortgage because of it.

Like others have said, IKEA is your friend. Kallax's hide a multitude of sins and can be used to store just about anything, including clothes. We replaced two conventional chests of drawers in our bedroom with Kallax's to the same footprint and height, and doubled the amount of storage space. Just think: Under, Behind, On-Top

SurvivalIsInsufficient · 03/02/2021 11:06

2 adults and 2 kids in a 2 bedroom flat is cramped??????Am I missing something?

That its cramped, apparently.

Original poster
JessicaH1 · 03/02/2021 11:27

Toddler will be 3 when baby arrives , we dont know the sex

OP posts:
TeacupDrama · 03/02/2021 14:17

There are some great storage ideas on you tube videos of tiny houses (technically under 400 Sq ft). Also I think it is a bit of decluttering and deciding what is essential and how many of anything is necessary. Not suggesting minimalism in total but some of the minimal ideas can help with organisation but you need to declutter before organising storage and thinking vertically rather than horizontally for storage helps too. But your children can easily share a room for some years,

Oileo · 03/02/2021 14:26

It’ll just work out, we had at one point two teens and a toddler in a small two bed. You just adapt. We later moved to a bigger place and we just find we fill the space we have!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 03/02/2021 14:29

We had 2kids in a 2bed for a bit. Baby in with us until 1yr. Then we put 1yo and 4yo into the bigger room with all their toy storage and we took the smaller room

We sold when they were 4 and 7 as we just couldn't see it working when they got older/turned teens.

Have you priced 3bed flats around where you live now?

SchrodingersImmigrant · 03/02/2021 14:31

When I was growing up we were 4 in 1 bed (quite common there actually). Pps are right. You adapt. Smart storage is a saviour

CSIblonde · 03/02/2021 14:41

As others have said, bunk beds. Plenty of hooks on bedroom doors for hanging all kinds of things things up tidily. TV on wall for more space. Be ruthless with toys. If it's not been played with in 6 months, charity shop. Only a few toys out at a time in your main living space means less mess & chaos. Always get them to help tidy toys away before bed ,so your adult time feels just that.

stormelf · 03/02/2021 15:07

We aren't in a flat but both my kids (1 and 3) share a small box room. They have a cot, toddler bed and a tall ikea trofast unit for toys set in an L shape meaning they have a bit of floor space for playing. All their clothes are in a cupboard in my bedroom. At their age they just sleep in their room and play with a few toys/books at bed time and in early morning so don't need much. We also have an ikea daybed with storage under it (hemnes I think) instead of a sofa in living area. The three storage draws under it are huge and can fit all kids toys in as well as spare bedding and things

Mummaofboys93 · 03/02/2021 15:26

We are a family of 4 soon to be 5 in a small 2 bed flat. I swapped rooms with oldest once DS 2 was big enough for a bed, so they have the bigger room. Unlees we can afford to move anytime soon we will remain where we are & make it work. I'll have to get a triple sleeper if we are still there for a few years. As someone else mentioned under bed storage & those cube storage are good for toys. Save on drawer & wardrobe space by storing away summer clothes in winter & visa versa so wardrobes & cupboards aren't bursting with loads of children's clothes. My kids have a dedicated large drawer each for bottoms & tops, another drawer for boxers, socks & PJs & then they share a drawer for school uniform. Those suction storage bags are good for storing away large amounts of clothes especially the thicker winter bits. You'll find what works for you.

Bythemillpond · 03/02/2021 15:30

I know a few people who have lived in a 1 bed flat with 2 adults and 2 children.
Children shared the bedroom and parents had a sofa bed for years