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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Family of 4 in 2 bedroom flat.

80 replies

JessicaH1 · 02/02/2021 19:06

Hi all, sorry if this is posted in the wrong place, i wasn't sure where to post. Baby number 2 is on its way in a couple of months and myself , parter & toddler all live in a small 2 bed flat. Any advice from people in similar situations on how to make this work long term? I feel like we are going to be cramped, but dont really have any options for moving as its (morgaged) and super cheap for us.

OP posts:

PregnantGotCovid · 02/02/2021 20:03

Gosh op 470 square feet is extremely tiny.

Honestly, I would look at moving to improve quality of life. In the meantime, look if any of your belongings can be put into storage.

MrsKoala · 02/02/2021 20:03

@zeddybrek

We had this and did things a bit differently.

DH and toddler slept in the same room in king bed. They both slept better and didn't disturb each other. So at least 2 were getting a full night's sleep.

I had the second smaller room with DC2 who was up in the night and I could do night feeds without waking anyone else up.

We did similar. When we had ds2 we lived in a 2 bed flat. H slept with 2yo in one room and I slept with the baby in the other room. Then we moved to a 2.5 bedroom house. The .5 room was tiny and too small for a single bed so we made it a storage room and continued with the co sleeping with 1 child each in the other 2 rooms.

AlwaysLatte · 02/02/2021 20:16

I wouldn't worry too much, you will need more room than you think. Ours is 4 bed but our children wanted to share until they were about 8 and 6 so we had a totally unused floor for all that time! Also both of them were in with us as babies until 6 months. So it could be years before it's a problem. Clever storage is useful too - maybe cube toy storage on one wall in your living room?

Crystal90567 · 02/02/2021 20:24

I had my two sharing the big room.
My youngest was a bit of a dare devil so I didn't get bunk beds. He loved jumping from heights and I had to watch him constantly when out and about. I had twin beds and they still had plenty of room to play. Smaller room does fit a double bed usually.

Disfordarkchocolate · 02/02/2021 20:25

Please don't get bunk beds when your children are too small for them, it would be dangerous. A cot and a toddler bed will fit in a small room.

ChocOrange1 · 02/02/2021 20:28

Definitely look at storage solution. Drawers under your bed, or one of those ottoman beds. Get travel stuff for the baby e.g. travel high chair, travel cot, travel changing mat, a pushchair with a very small footprint when folded. Then they can be folded up and put out of the way when you're not using them.

IKEA pax wardrobes have a crazy amount of storage space and can have sliding doors which saves a lot of room. Kallax units are great for toys, DVDs, everything else!

Limit the amount of toys and stuff that your kids have. Ask family members to contribute towards one present, or an experience, rather than loads of toys. Maybe consider signing up to a toy library service (whirli is good) so they can have lots of different toys over time but you dont have to store them all at once. Same with books, make use of your library.

Teophile44 · 02/02/2021 20:34

Yes - you can make it work with good storage, sharing room etc....we were in a similar situation up until my no2 turned 2...initially he was with us in the big bedroom and then shared a bedroom with no1......
but then lockdown no1 happened.....we left for a bigger place (in a much cheaper location).....best decision I made tbh. Probably very much depends on your kids as well though...

HibernatingTill2030 · 02/02/2021 20:35

The only problem you will have is if your children are different sexes and can't share a room when they are older. Otherwise, they can share, yes not much space to run around indoors and no garden, so you will have to be creative as they get older.

Cherryade8 · 02/02/2021 20:41

We are the same in a 2 bed flat, kids are older though. Bunk beds with storage. Biggest IKEA Kallax which gives a lot of storage vertically.

A table which folds down is great.

AuntVictoria · 02/02/2021 20:42

Bew11

RhodaDendron · 02/02/2021 20:46

We were briefly a family of five in a two bed flat, one big bedroom one small. I would recommend keeping your baby in with you for as long as possible, being flexible about where people sleep (with a sofa bed our flat actually slept 7!) but ensuring everyone has a little bit of space that is just ‘theirs’ eg I had my desk, DD1 had special shelves and a tent on her bed.

MessAllOver · 02/02/2021 20:55

This is what has worked for us:

Built-in floor to ceiling storage that uses every inch of vertical space.
Sofa on legs - we keep the train set and other toys hidden away under there in low wooden boxes
Storage coffee table that doubles as a toy box.
Shelves above the doors
Lots and lots of hooks in the hall for coats/waterproof trousers/hats etc. I'm thinking of adding rubber hooks lower down for shoes to get them off the floor (we don't have any hall cupboards, unfortunately).
Wall-mounted TV - saves having a tv-stand.
Solid wooden under-bed storage on wheels.
Built-in bookcases/cupboards in living-room.

One of my friends lived in a studio flat with a huge, wall-mounted fold-down table so she didn't need to have a table taking up space the whole time - not sure how safe would be with little ones, though?

For beds, could you get trundle beds when the little one is out of a cot? Push one under the other during the day. There are some that also have storage drawers as well (like the one in the picture).

RandomMess · 02/02/2021 20:57

We kept ours in cots and just took the sides off rather than buy beds. They had continental sized cots, were tall DC but still fit in at 4.

NoOpinionNoProblem · 02/02/2021 21:07

I haven't read the full thread, but judging by the rest of AIBU I'm sure there will be some dickheads on here that will insist that bringing two kids up in a flat is akin to child abuse. Ignore them. Where I live this is a normal situation as housing is expensive and wages are comparatively low.

I'm in a similar situation and things I find that help:

-Trundle beds or bunks.
-IKEA kallax is your friend.
-Boxes on fridge for snacks
-curver baskets in kitchen cupboards are useful if you are on the short side and can't reach top shelves and you can store more in them. Or good for pans in odd corners of cupboards.
-ikea wardrobe storage
-under bed storage
-command hooks on walls for pots/pan, coats. Put them on inside wardrobes/cupboards to make use of door space
-the Kondo folding method! Saves drawer space
-i coslept with both my kids. My youngest (young toddler) is in a king bed with me and the other sleeps in other room with DH in single and DC on trundle. We sleep so much better (DH snores) it's unusual in this country to have this set up, but quite typical in others to share a room with young kids. I'm actually dreading the kids sharing and being subjected to DH's snoring again.
-get rid of crap you don't use. I have tons of baby clothes/old clothes I'm too far for to sell, but don't want to at the moment due to covid. Can't wait to get rid of them!

ShastaBeast · 02/02/2021 21:11

We are in a two bed but it’s larger and has a garden with storage. Second baby slept in our room for a year. Luckily we could fit two cots and then toddler beds in the second bedroom. I did find a company who made a bunk cot which can be a bed or second cot in the bottom.

Once the eldest was old enough we got a cabin bed short single and pushed the toddler bed underneath. Now they have a small single bunk bed. We also have tall wardrobes and shelving. But keeping control of clutter is a must. Space is worth so much more when it’s a premium.

Original poster

JessicaH1 · 02/02/2021 21:37

Thanks for all of the responses. Its nice to know other people have been through/going through a similar situation. Sometimes it hard not to compare to others when they have big houses ! We know for us having a cheap morgage will keep things less stressful financially, so finding a way to make this work is important

OP posts:

Dontlikeveg · 02/02/2021 22:15

@daisyjgrey

Baby in your room for a while, then when the kids are old enough to share I'd switch rooms if your bed fits.

I switched with my daughter to the smaller room, she plays in hers and spends time there, I don't so it made sense for her to have the bigger room.

I did exactly this.

NoOpinionNoProblem · 02/02/2021 22:17

Keeping a cheaper mortgage might be wise with everything going on at the moment. One other benefit is being able to keep an eye on your eldest child with being on one floor and not having to deal with stairs.

Cherrysoup · 02/02/2021 22:28

Swap bedrooms round. I mean, we literally sleep in our room, so size would not matter. Do you know the sex of the baby? If it’s the same as your dc, then fab. If it’s not, then I’d be looking to move.

BlackeyedSusan · 02/02/2021 22:32

toddler beds until they are old enough for bunks.

light weight pushchair.

family opposite had parents sleeping in teh living room until the children moved out. Now I am sleeping in the living room.

Happycat1212 · 02/02/2021 22:52

This is hardly unusual, if you were in a council house you would only be entitled to 2 bedrooms and the children would be expected to share to at least 10 (16 if same sex) hardly unusual or strange

Jent13c · 03/02/2021 03:24

I've only ever lived in 2 bed flats since married and there is a BIG difference between a big 2 bed and a small 2 bed for folk questioning why you would find it a tight squeeze! Currently in 50sqm and its cramped.
Our boys share, hasn't been easy at times when the baby wakes and theres a lot of musical beds. We have a toddler bed and cot (you can get smaller cots which might work?). All the boys clothes are in a small 3 drawer and the rest in storage. All their toys are in their room and they take them through to the living room to play.

Living room is a good size (victorian flat). We have a small table for the kids with pvc mat under and the baby is just on a little bumbo style chair with tray for meals. We just eat at coffee table. Living room is cleared of toys every night to make us feel like we have some space.

Our bed has floor to ceiling large wardrobes and everything is in there. DH desk is in there but we have no room for office chair which isnt great for his back. He shuts himself in there for the day and we try our best to keep quiet for meetings (usually unsuccessfully!).

No bath so kids bath in small pink tub which also doubles as a washing basket.

SoundWithoutAName · 03/02/2021 03:40

Dh and I had 3 DC in a 2 bedroom flat for a while. We had the big room while the 2 babies were in with us, then switched rooms when DS was old enough to go in with DD. Eventually we moved to a 3 bedroom, DD and DS have their own rooms at the moment and baby is still in with us. When she is old enough she will go into the bottom bunk in DD's room.

SleepingStandingUp · 03/02/2021 03:41

Will you for a double bed in their room and two beds in yours?

Our toddler would never have coped in a bunk bed so it would need to be two separate beds but I'd that fits asking with storage for clothes then that's fine for now.

Are they both the same sex?

IHateCoronavirus · 03/02/2021 03:43

While the DC are still little have them topping and tailing in a single bed/bottom bunk for a while. They will be small enough not to kick each other and it will mean no one is in the top bunk before they can manage it safely.

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