Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Passwords and secrets?

56 replies

Lochabernomore · 02/02/2021 16:27

Do you know your husband/partner's passwords for their phone?

I've never known my DH's but he does keep them fairly secretive and takes his phone everywhere (including the bathroom). My friend thinks this is weird, she knows all of her DH's passwords for everything.

I have no reason to believe he's doing anything he shouldn't but I'm pretty sure he wouldn't share them with me even if I asked (I haven't).

OP posts:
ShemShem · 02/02/2021 16:28

Yeah I know all his and he knows all mine. Not sure why anyone wouldn't share that with their partner. I'd be suspicious if my husband refused

Shoxfordian · 02/02/2021 16:28

I think it’s a bit odd that he would never share it or ask you to check something on his phone. I know how to unlock my dh phone and he knows how to do mine but we would never look at the phones without permission

PurpleDaisies · 02/02/2021 16:28

Yes, it’s useful. He’s not at all secretive though. We open each other’s boring looking post too.

SirenSays · 02/02/2021 16:32

Yes we know each others passwords and immediately set each other up with fingerprint entry on all new devices.
If I need to pop to the shops and my phone is on charge for example, he'll give me his to take with me instead so I have music/audiobooks.

2me2u2u2me · 02/02/2021 16:38

Yes I know all my OH's and he knows mine, we sometimes borrow each other's phones/iPads if the others' are on charge eg.

I get where your friend is coming from, it's not that you are entitled to know his passwords, it's that he's secretive with them and takes his phone everywhere, even the bathroom, that's what would raise a bit of a red flag for me. Hmm

Original poster
Lochabernomore · 02/02/2021 16:40

Oh, I've never really given it a thought. Now I'm worried.

He does have children who have been known to be unkind about me, perhaps that's why he hides it, to hide their messages?

OP posts:
Meowchickameowmeow · 02/02/2021 16:41

No. I have no reason to know it. He's not secretive with his phone I just have no desire to ask him for his password.

notforonesecond · 02/02/2021 16:42

My husband doesn’t have a passcode on his phone because he’s a weirdo but I’m not telling him mine.

My internet history is between me and god Grin

magicstar1 · 02/02/2021 16:43

I know all his, but he doesn’t know any of mine. Not because I don’t tell him, but he’s got a crap memory Grin

gwenneh · 02/02/2021 16:43

Yes, I do, but I don't think I've ever asked (unless it was for something financial, as I usually handle setting up bill pay.)

LindaEllen · 02/02/2021 16:43

I know it but we don't touch each other's phones. I know you should be open with your partner but you each have to have your own privacy too!

PaquitaVariation · 02/02/2021 16:43

No, I don’t have his passwords and he doesn’t have mine. My messages are private conversations, and whilst there’s nothing in them to concern him I still don’t want him reading them.

IReallyNeedMoreGin · 02/02/2021 16:44

My DH doesn't know my passcodes or passwords. None of his business! I don't know his either.

gwenneh · 02/02/2021 16:44

Also to add, he has mine and his fingerprint on my phone/computer/iPad because he's tech support in this house, or occasionally I'll be at work and need a file or photo stored on another device. It's just easier!

christmasathomeagain · 02/02/2021 16:46

I don't know his phone but know most everything else. He isn't secretive though and leaves his phone around etc.

SchrodingersImmigrant · 02/02/2021 16:46

I think we know most of each other's passwords but that came by "my phone is in the other room, can i google x on yours. "We use each other's infront of each other, but I would never be on his or want him on mine away. I still like my privacy and awarding him the same even though there is nothing to hide.

Tbh it may be his kids if they are unkind about you. Or his habit.

@notforonesecond mine is between me and incognito gods lol

LondonStone · 02/02/2021 16:47

We have the others Face ID on our phones so I can unlock his phone and vice versa and we also have a shared password manager account so I could, in theory, log in and have instant access to every account he owns.

I hardly ever use his phone or need access to his accounts but the option is always there.

Frankinmachine · 02/02/2021 16:47

My exH didn’t know my passwords. But that because I like my privacy and didn’t want him looking at what I post on Mumsnet or reading my personal WhatsApp messages to friends.

However, he was very private with his phone too, and when he started taking it in the bathroom that’s when I knew he was having an affair. However maybe your DH just likes to look at his phone on the loo.

pursuedbyablackdog · 02/02/2021 16:47

Yes. If one of us should drop dead then we have each other's contacts/ and any other details that might be useful!

redcandlelight · 02/02/2021 16:48

I don't know them, but we have an 'oh fuck' section in the safe with the most important ones so that either of us can sort things out should we need to.

peboh · 02/02/2021 16:51

I don't know all of my husbands passwords, because I've never asked for them. I know his phone, as every now and then I'll use his to make calls or messages if I don't have mine handy. I know his bank, credit card etc. Emails, social media etc, no. I don't care to know, that's his stuff.

DappledThings · 02/02/2021 16:52

We set our phones to the same entry code so it's easy to remember! Don't go snooping but we use each other's phones if one is charging and the borrows one or if one of us is driving and the other wants to change the music or something.

peboh · 02/02/2021 16:52

To add, he also knows my phone for the same reason, and my bank/credit card. He doesn't snoop, and I don't snoop when we use the others. It's none of our business what the other is up to unless it pertains to each other.

DappledThings · 02/02/2021 16:56

Online banking he has my login details which gives him access to joint account and savings. Also to my current account but that's fine. Email we know each other's but mostly because we are both a bit lazy and only really have 2 passwords each we recycle so we both know what to guess for shared things like Amazon and Netflix if they get logged out.

Work laptop he would never remember because it's 30 characters of letters, symbols and numbers but I'd happily write it down for him if he ever needed it.

teenagetantrums · 02/02/2021 16:56

Yes l know all my partner's passwords we use her email and phone for bills that l organise. I have told them mine but l don't think she would not remember. Also she has a bit off a gambling problem so l check her bank occasionally.