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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is everyone OK?

82 replies

Plussizejumpsuit · 02/02/2021 14:55

I'm really feeling like many posters on here are really not doing OK. The number of harsh, vitriolic, downright mean comments is through the roof. Yes I know I can just fuck off if I don't like it. I probably should. I'm also far from perfect but this feel like more than individuals.

I'm seeing so many posts which end in a pile on. Or just loads of really nasty comments regarding a fairly innocuous subject. It's like many people seem to think that something somone is saying is directed negatively at them.

Is this just a sign of the times? Are people just really stressed and taking it out on people here? Or am I imagining this?

OP posts:
Calmandmeasured1 · 02/02/2021 16:17

I cried buckets just now because DS’s music teacher sang Hallelujah in his Teams lesson
It was on something on TV on Sunday ......and I did cry.

kindlingtwigs · 02/02/2021 16:25

@Comefromaway

I think a lot of people are not ok. It feels like everything is hanging on a thread at the moment.
This. I don't know how much more I can take. I'm lonely (single parent) doing a stressful job inadequately, dealing with one bereavement and one imminent and stressed Y11 and Y13 DCs and having money problems. I wish there was somewhere I could go to cry in private.
ShemShem · 02/02/2021 16:27

AIBU has been full of nasty comments for years

Nothing new

Seriouslymole · 02/02/2021 16:38

@ShemShem

AIBU has been full of nasty comments for years

Nothing new

Yes, but it's spilled over into quite a lot of MN now. It used to be lovely. I was on the sleep forums for what felt like decades when DD (now 10) was a baby - obviously it was only about 18 months but it was such a lovely supportive place. It's lost that vibe.
Love2cycle · 02/02/2021 17:05

I am doing ok, but I have noticed im becoming intolerant of people who aren't adversely affected by this pandemic. At the same time I deeply empathise with people who are struggling, to the point where it really effects me.

DynamoKev · 02/02/2021 17:10

I'm fine and I've always enjoyed the robust responses in AIBU.

People have been complaining about vile nasty posters since about post number 2. It has always been worse on here than it used to be.

Frouby · 02/02/2021 17:10

I've noticed a change in tone on here. The snide was previously limited to AIBU, but has drifted out to lots of different topics. I even noticed it on the very informative covid stats thread which has always been sciency and factual. Have also noticed a ganging up tendency as well. 1 poster says something nasty, 3 or 4 join in then someone posts an alternative view and it turns into a slanging match between the two sides. I could log out and read something else but tbh there's not much else to do atm is there.

Alfaix · 02/02/2021 17:11

I felt like this yesterday but today we have done minimal home learning and played in the snow all day. DS built a snowman with the girl next door (probably against the rules- I no longer care) and has been so happy.
Cheered me right up!

Scroremanga · 02/02/2021 17:12

No I'm not OK. I feel dreadful at the moment. Home schooling, working and covid at the same time is finishing me off. Oh and lockdown. Sorry others aren't OK either Flowers

AndcalloffChristmas · 02/02/2021 17:14

I think you’re right OP

ThroughThickAndThin01 · 02/02/2021 17:24

I’m finding the lockdown extreme so strange on MN. So many posters want total lockdown no shops, schools, work, pubs, takeaways, walks, meeting of anyone, no......anything. Posters telling other posters to leave their teenagers at uni to decline and get on with it when they are besides themselves with not coping. I would be amazed if family relationships come out of this intact.

teenagetantrums · 02/02/2021 17:31

I'm ok. I feel sorry and sad for others. Covid has not really changed my life. We both still working. I'm sad for my grown up kids who have lost lots. I miss my holidays and nights out but generally I'm ok.

littleloopylou · 02/02/2021 17:34

Not really.

JesusInTheCabbageVan · 02/02/2021 17:40

@ShemShem

AIBU has been full of nasty comments for years

Nothing new

I know people always say this, but I've been on here for ever (at least ten years) and can say with absolute confidence that the daft threads I used to post would get ripped to shreds these days, or even in the year running up to COVID.

Do you mean you genuinely haven't noticed any escalation in nastiness during the past year in particular?

Hope everyone's doing OK today Flowers Well, not OK, but you know what I mean. It will get better, really.

BlowDryRat · 02/02/2021 17:41

No one is ok.

NoIDontWatchLoveIsland · 02/02/2021 17:44

Some people are not ok.

MN also has a decent quotient of arseholes, as does any forum.

People tend to post much stronger sentiments and not hold back opinions at all on anonymous internet message boards. social niceties are absent.

12frogsincoats · 02/02/2021 17:45

Yes I'm doing ok thank you OP. How are you?

Aroundtheworldin80moves · 02/02/2021 17:49

I'm not ok. And I feel like I've got no right to feel like it.
We haven't lost any income.
Our families are all well.
I'm only trying to homeschool two children, not work and home school.
We have lots of outdoor space, and a reasonable size house.

But I spend most of the day trying not to cry.

I come to Mumsnet for light relief. But worry about posting the wrong thing.

I feel jealous of DH whose life hasn't changed. He gets to go to work everyday, even if they have stress there. (Logistics behind Covid response, plus their normal work).

The highlight of my life is a trip to the supermarket.

Original poster
Plussizejumpsuit · 02/02/2021 17:50

@12frogsincoats

Yes I'm doing ok thank you OP. How are you?
I said in one of my posts not great.

But this is the type of reply I'm taking about. Like what is this adding? It's just arsey.

I certainly don't think women should do the thing where if you've got nothing nice to say you just shut up. It's especially important women talk and support and disagree!

But I think we can challenge and disagree without getting really nasty. I want to do something to make it better. What about a chill vibes only thread? Or actually do people need to be like this.

OP posts:
LorneSausage · 02/02/2021 17:59

Not ok. Missed my grandson's birthday and have just been summoned for jury duty. How can it be right that I'm being forced to sit in a room full of strangers for days when I can't see my family even for an hour?

BonnieDundee · 02/02/2021 18:06

I'm snappier than usual. I'm just about ok. I've worked through the pandemic and work is shit. Hate the idea that the public are getting fed the idea that NHS are heroes while our managers are treating us like shit. Theres nothing to do at the weekends, havent seen my family for ages, theres no light at the end of the tunnel and I am spending much more time on MN than I usually do because of lack of other options.

In fact on another thread a poster suggested that I needed to get out more. Aaaaaaaargh! I KNOW THIS Grin

Original poster
Plussizejumpsuit · 02/02/2021 18:06

@LorneSausage

Not ok. Missed my grandson's birthday and have just been summoned for jury duty. How can it be right that I'm being forced to sit in a room full of strangers for days when I can't see my family even for an hour?
My mum is doing jury service this week. I guess we need to keep our legal system going. But I get what you mean.
OP posts:
SynchroSwimmer · 02/02/2021 18:29

In part, I just quietly observe and see it is how society and younger generations are changing - I just feel sad to observe more nastiness and verbal aggressiveness sometimes as society is changing.

Silvergreen · 02/02/2021 18:44

People are really not ok. I was pulled up on a work performance matter earlier which had me in tears. I'm not able to concentrate or focus whatsoever. I'm the most resilient person you could ever meet but I'm feeling so fragile. So many others are the same.

Original poster
Plussizejumpsuit · 02/02/2021 18:44

@SynchroSwimmer

In part, I just quietly observe and see it is how society and younger generations are changing - I just feel sad to observe more nastiness and verbal aggressiveness sometimes as society is changing.
But is society changing because people are so fearful and resentful? There's a huge generational wealth devude. Employment, house buying , education and opportunity aren't the same for many millenias and younger.
OP posts: