To think it’s impossible to maintain mental health now

[Sunnydays999]

I’m struggling now . You keep hearing look after your mental health , but we can’t . The things I need to do aren’t available.Arguing more as a couple snapping more at the kids . Anyone else feel like this ? Or have any tips

@ShemShem

Yabu

Of course you can look after your mental health.

Counseling is still available, many people manage just fine

What was the need for that post. If you have nothing nice to say then why be nasty . Op I have never suffered with my mental health ever before. But I am ecv and shielding from work .I feel absolutely shite about this feel like I am letting my work team down they are still working the guilt I feel is awful . So yeap op I get it .

@Alternista has really good advice.

It's perfectly understandable to feel down, restricted, bored, sad, miserable at the moment. It's a pandemic. No pandemic has lasted forever yet as far as I know!

If you think you're suffering more than that though and you're past self-help, see if you can get professional help - GP, online private therapy, meds for anxiety or depression (they're pretty different things). I know a fair few friends who have done this during the pandemic so there is help there. Maybe we live in a particularly good NHS area.

I have started anxiety meds (not related to pandemic) and seen a therapist (zoom) over the last 4 months, which have both helped immeasurably. Hope you feel better soon!

Get some dates in your diary to meet friends for a walk.

Phone friends

Walk outside daily for an hour. Fast.

I'm not being contrary for the sake of it, but I've had severe mental health issues since about 12 and this is probably the best I've been mental health wise. Services are still available, they just look different to how they've been previously and you might have to advocate for yourself a bit more.

@Sunnydays999

I know I can do exercise in the living room . But I miss the gym and getting out - peace from everyone . I miss seeing my friend . Husband and me arguing loads as we are under each other’s feet to much

Are you getting any natural daylight?

One very noticeable change you can make is to try to get outside every day for walks. I know it isn't the same as the gym but getting daylight is really important for mood and even small amounts of vitamin D.

Therapy online is very effective.

I was mid-course when first lockdown struck, and stopped because it was too much with the changes I had to make in my life. Two months layer, my therapist contacted me and found me suicidal. There followed more sessions during which we righted my mood and I've been fine ever since.

My dd also has a long history of depression etc and by being kind to herself and others, she's managing ok. So it's not impossible.

Don't look forward or back, just focus on the moment.

I am lying in bed crying at the.moment. Just got a real low. Normally ok, but in a really bad catch 22 of knowing what I need to do but not doing it and not doing it makes me low. I am exhausted but not sleeping. Working at 6.30am each morning to try and get some work done before everyone wakes up. Mentally exhausted by the evening. I have ADHD and am really struggling and feeling overwhelmed. My nanny has just moved away and the three hours a day, 3 times a week was a god send. I am working full time falling further behind. I do the lion's share of housework, cooking, life laundry. I am so done.

All my coping mechanisms have gone too.

I’m a single parent with 3DC ages 12, 10 and 5.

I’m also a second year Microbiology student.

I’ve been seeing a Psychiatrist for over a year. I’m on medication.

But without being at Uni, in labs, lunches with my Mature Student friends, going to the Uni gym, and feeling like me rather than just Mum I have started finding stuff really difficult.

Along with homeschooling the children, (I have full residency of my youngest and 50/50 of my eldest 2) things are, well, fucking difficult.

Not sweating the small stuff and relaxing standards is very good advice.

I'm on streamline too but gp also prescribed beta blockers yesterday if I get the odd episode of panic which is new thing for me.

It affects people different ways although I'm bored out of my mind my MH has definitely improved without the constant flow of visitors I'm more focused on the things my DC need without my home being central hub.
Although the past few days dad/dsis/1niece dropped in they just don't listen now I've to do it tell them again and put up with dad sulking back to square one.

It really frustrates me the way 'mental health' is being misused at the moment.

To feel utterly miserable in the face of an awful situation is not having problems with your mental health. It's a perfectly normal reaction.

Totally feel you OP! it's so difficult isn't it. I've always struggled with MH anyway, but I've now doubled my dose of anti depressants and I've been on waiting lists for counselling since July. I also started a new job so feel really isolated and like I don't get a break and what used to keep me going was the thought of fun things at the weekend or holidays etc. Now there's none of that it's really really difficult to get motivated. I think just be kind to yourself and don't expect too much or put too much pressure on yourself (I should take my own advice here!) and just take each day as it comes. I find it's easier to just get through one day at a time then think this is it for the next few weeks/months etc! I'm also not a social person at all so it's not that aspect that's affecting me all that much!

To feel utterly miserable in the face of an awful situation is not having problems with your mental health. It's a perfectly normal reaction
Yes but many people do have existing mental health conditions which are frayed and harder to regulate in difficult situations.

It's difficult and demands hard work, certainly. Impossible? No.

I’m sorry for anyone who is suffering but I feel fine . I’m a very positive person , don’t worry about things I have no control over and just make the best out of what I am allowed to do .

I agree with the pp who said this is a crappy situation and feeling low about it is normal but this doesn't mean that POOR mental health is inevitable or should be diagnosed as depression and medicated. I am not denying that depression is real, that ADs can help etc but we seem to have lost sight of the fact that feeling sad / worried in appropriate situations is normal. I am a SP to tweens x2, wfh as a teacher and its tough and lonely. But I'm ok. I control what I can, shop for my parents to keep them out of the supermarket, let the kids have free reign with screens most of the time and generally assume that at some point this will sort itself out. It will. On zoom calls with friends we all ironically shrug over the "how are you" bit at the beginning and find something else to talk about. In terms of tips OP, I'd suggest doing that if you can - talk about films you've watched, books you've read, idiotic rows you've had with the kids etc. There's no magic technique to being ok, other than deciding that you don't want to not be ok (again, I fully accept that some cannot do this). I'm allowing myself treats and drinks though the week, not stressing out over the screen time issue. I'm actually finding housework easier as I am here all the time to stick a wash on or whatever. Many many things are within my control, so I do those.

I'm bored of this current trend of everyone assuming everyone else is struggling to make themselves feel better. It's a race to the bottom and spoiler - most people are coping just fine.

wow. just wow. Are you aware that there are now multiple threads across all sections of this site with people expressing severe mental distress?

I'd say 80% of the people I know are struggling, 90% of those with children.

Posting "most people are coping just fine" on a thread like this one is f$%king heartless, unkind, insulting, blaming. Go and find some empathy.

I just got prescribed AD, the only way i can describe how i feel is like ive stepped in a puddle, i know my foots wet, and i just cba to take it out. Im juggling home schooling a 7yo and a feral one year old, i work nights, so have 4 hours sleep if im lucky, than back to it. Im on auto pilot. Crippling anxiety over the 400 side effects has stopped me taking them so far

other than deciding that you don't want to not be ok

Just like you just need to decide that you don't need to be fat.
Just like you just need to decide that you need to go out and exercise six hours a week.
Just like you just need to decide to stop smoking.
Just like you just need to decide to stop drinking.

Live is JUST so easy if you decide.

@HugeAckmansWife

I agree with the pp who said this is a crappy situation and feeling low about it is normal but this doesn't mean that POOR mental health is inevitable or should be diagnosed as depression and medicated. I am not denying that depression is real, that ADs can help etc but we seem to have lost sight of the fact that feeling sad / worried in appropriate situations is normal. I am a SP to tweens x2, wfh as a teacher and its tough and lonely. But I'm ok. I control what I can, shop for my parents to keep them out of the supermarket, let the kids have free reign with screens most of the time and generally assume that at some point this will sort itself out. It will. On zoom calls with friends we all ironically shrug over the "how are you" bit at the beginning and find something else to talk about. In terms of tips OP, I'd suggest doing that if you can - talk about films you've watched, books you've read, idiotic rows you've had with the kids etc. There's no magic technique to being ok, other than deciding that you don't want to not be ok (again, I fully accept that some cannot do this). I'm allowing myself treats and drinks though the week, not stressing out over the screen time issue. I'm actually finding housework easier as I am here all the time to stick a wash on or whatever. Many many things are within my control, so I do those.

@HugeAckmansWife

I agree with most of your comments, but not "There's no magic technique to being ok, other than deciding that you don't want to not be ok (again, I fully accept that some cannot do this)"

Most of us have strategies we use to alleviate low mood, but we don't just decide not to have low mood. For comparison, I may choose to take paracetamol for headache, but I can't will the headache away

I meant that deciding to be ok involves doing certain things but those will vary so massively from person to person there's not much point listing them and I never said it was easy but in the end, most of those things, smoking, drinking, being fat do take an effort of will - I'm 3 stone overweight and have been for years. I fully acknowledge that that is because I stop following the healthy habits after a while because I want the treat more than I want to be thin. Its my choice. That's a different thread though. The OP asked something about how everyone is doing. I said I'm ok and why. I offered my view that up to a point you make active choices about how you are going to feel or how you are going to react to those feelings. That's my approach. It won't work for everyone.

Agree with alot already said here. This is some of the things I do not saying it will work for everyone
Walk everyday usually just with ds ( 9 ) but also been meeting a friend
Sticking to a routine of times going to bed and times getting up
Doing a bit of housework daily to keep on top of it
Having some time to myself everyday even if it's just 30min
Having more baths and time away
Phoning friends
Messaging friends
Reading

Oh also to add I've started taking vitamin D which I feel is making a difference on my positivity

Yes I get this. I've done all the telephone therapy and I'm on medication, but I've reached the stage where there is no hope anymore. There's no light at the end of the tunnel and I'm having problems functioning. I can't do home ed with my son anymore, can't keep up with housework or laundry, struggling to keep myself clean and tidy.
One of my sons is at school as he has severe learning disabilities. The kids are fed and cleaned and looked after but it's hard to explain why I keep bursting into tears every 5 minutes.
I am so sick of being indoors and I am so sick of being outdoors and going on walks. There is nothing that can be done now until this lockdown starts to ease up and I'm not 100% sure I'll make it