Page 2 | To think it’s impossible to maintain mental health now

XenoBitch · 02/02/2021 15:43

Am feeling the same OP. The usual things I do to cope are not available or are illegal due to Covid.

sunflowersandbuttercups · 02/02/2021 15:52

I think it massively depends on your situation and circumstances. For DH and I, things haven't changed much. We're both still working 5 days a week and we get out at weekends with the dog. We also don't have children which makes a HUGE difference, I think.

I do have days where I struggle for various reasons, but generally I've coped surprisingly well with everything, really.

Nicolastuffedone · 02/02/2021 15:54

No problem with my mental health.....just very, very bored of it all now

sirfredfredgeorge · 02/02/2021 15:55

Depending on where your friends are you can still meet up with them for exercise / a walk. Being able to do this helps me loads

I know people are trying to help, but remember that methods and strategies that people have won't be the same as yours, I've spent parts of my alive completely shut in, meeting friends for a walk is simply something that would actually make my mental health worse. Meeting friends to do activity X is exactly what I need, but I can't do that, and there's no alternative 'cos all the possible X's are blocked.

There are things I can do, and obviously I've enough experience to know what they are, I am sure if it was less obvious to you what your problems are - because they're well masked in normal life - then you're really stuck as you don't know what outlet you need, and you keep getting advice, which actually runs exactly against what you need. (The zoom parties, the walk with a single friend, do it online!)

It's okay to say what works for you, it's probably even good, but realise that they may not work for others, and also accept that it's perfectly normal for them not to work for you, just see what you can do.

Murraytheskull · 02/02/2021 16:03

I just wish my work would be more understanding. I can't remember the last time my boss asked me how homeschooling was going (he does know its taken a massive backseat as my job is busy and stressful). I know they say leave your homelife out of the office but the two worlds are smashed together right now.

Lemons1571 · 02/02/2021 16:18

I know they say leave your homelife out of the office but the two worlds are smashed together right now

I really like this way of putting it. It’s a nightmare when you get a boss that doesn’t understand young children can’t be neatly put in a cupboard for 9 hours while you work.

ShemShem · 02/02/2021 16:26

Yabu

Of course you can look after your mental health.

Counseling is still available, many people manage just fine

ChocOrange1 · 02/02/2021 16:28

You can get out of the house, go for a walk or a drive. That helps me stay sane - listening to a podcast and walking by myself.
You can see friends but only outside. I've been seeing at least 2 friends a week and just seeing and talking to someone different does me the world of good.

singingsoprano · 02/02/2021 16:29

@ShemShem

Yabu

Of course you can look after your mental health.

Counseling is still available, many people manage just fine

@ShemShem, that's really unkind to people who are struggling. Why post if you are not? [Flowers] for everyone who is struggling.

GooodMythicalMorning · 02/02/2021 16:30

Sounds stupid but lack of hugging and closeness isn't helping. I miss my mum and my sisters and my baby nephews. Ive only met my newest nephew 3 or 4 times and so massively missing out on bonding. I hate lockdown.

ShemShem · 02/02/2021 16:34

@singingsoprano

I answered a question

(An attention seeking question but still)

Of course it's possible to maintain your mental health. Millions do it every day

Housing101 · 02/02/2021 16:35

I've always thought of myself as being pretty strong mentally, good mental health, calm, practical etc but I am beginning to struggle some days, experiencing moments of feeling pretty down.
I can completely understand why people are beginning to break and I don't think it's going to be able to continue this way.

I worry for the MH and possible lasting impact on my young DC. Living this way is so unnatural.

XenoBitch · 02/02/2021 16:47

@sirfredfredgeorge

Depending on where your friends are you can still meet up with them for exercise / a walk. Being able to do this helps me loads

I know people are trying to help, but remember that methods and strategies that people have won't be the same as yours, I've spent parts of my alive completely shut in, meeting friends for a walk is simply something that would actually make my mental health worse. Meeting friends to do activity X is exactly what I need, but I can't do that, and there's no alternative 'cos all the possible X's are blocked.

There are things I can do, and obviously I've enough experience to know what they are, I am sure if it was less obvious to you what your problems are - because they're well masked in normal life - then you're really stuck as you don't know what outlet you need, and you keep getting advice, which actually runs exactly against what you need. (The zoom parties, the walk with a single friend, do it online!)

It's okay to say what works for you, it's probably even good, but realise that they may not work for others, and also accept that it's perfectly normal for them not to work for you, just see what you can do.

OP asked for tips so giving advice is fine. Sometimes someone might come up with something new.

nothingcanhurtmewithmyeyesshut · 02/02/2021 16:47

I answered a question

(An attention seeking question but still)

Of course it's possible to maintain your mental health. Millions do it every day

Fuck off.

Lemons1571 · 02/02/2021 16:52

@ChocOrange1

You can get out of the house, go for a walk or a drive. That helps me stay sane - listening to a podcast and walking by myself. You can see friends but only outside. I've been seeing at least 2 friends a week and just seeing and talking to someone different does me the world of good.

I find going for a drive therapeutic. Though of course you have to find a reason within the guidelines to do it, otherwise the whole of mumsnet will judge you to the ends of the earth. In mumsnet world, driving for a made up essential reason is fine, but driving for mental health reasons will automatically cause a 10 car pile up and bring you into contact with dozens of members of the emergency services all of whom will catch coronavirus off you.

Scarlettpixie · 02/02/2021 16:54

Is your friend local? Could you meet up for a walk with social distancing. Encourage your DH to go for a walk at a different time some days so you have the house to yourself.

Otherwise have a soak in the bath, light a candle, read a book, listen to music, phone someone for a chat. Build small things into your day. Have a look at some mindfulness apps.

Alternista · 02/02/2021 17:01

In your OP you said “the things I need to do”- which were going to the gym, swimming and meeting friends.

Would it help to reframe the first bit- so the things you need to do aren’t quite so specific but instead are:

Tire myself out physically
Leave the house
Have human contact etc?

I’m wondering if you can pinpoint what it is you get out of those activities, whether you could then be open to trying other things that deliver that same aim- running, meeting someone for a walk, going for a drive etc.

They might not meet those needs as well as your preferred activities; but they might fill the hole enough to help you keep going.

LadyCatStark · 02/02/2021 17:09

I’m sick to fucking death of people claiming that it’ll all be OK if you just go out for a walk or Zoom with your friends, like it’s some kind of fucking revelation. We’ve all been walking and Zooming for nearly a fucking year now and if is not OK.

andyindurham · 02/02/2021 17:10

It's rough. Options limited, miserable weather, too long in the same place with the same people. In lockdown one, I had maybe one bad day in a month. Now it's one a week.

All I can do is try not to compare with others and look at what I can do for myself. I like to give myself 3 or 4 attainable tasks for each day. Nothing demanding - I'm not talking running marathons or writing novels. Ideally something for work (tends to take care of itself), something around the house and something for me / my family. So today will be work, building a snowman with my daughter (we had just about enough snow for it this morning) and winning an online poker tournament. Probably doing the laundry should have got on the list but, you know, snow. At least when I get to bed I can point to things that I've successfully completed.

But today's an OK day. There are days when 'brushed my teeth twice' makes the list as I desperately try to fill the time.

Once in a blue moon, there's a good day when I lower my standards to the point where I can tick off 5/6 activities. And not include basic personal hygiene to get there.

When I need to take a longer view, I try to remind myself that various things in the past seemed like the absolute end of the world at the time but are almost forgotten now (or at least, are now irrelevant). Therefore, one day, this will be the same. That crappy few months back in the day, nothing more. And we'll know that, in spite of everything, we just about kept it together.

Good luck!

FedUpAtHomeTroels · 02/02/2021 17:22

Mines starting to go downhill worrying about Dd (16) she's have a tough time some days.
It's hard to keep them focused, and then to get them to relax when school is done.
School is on top of it luckily and are keeping contact.
I just keep telling her it'll all be over before we know it, just keep slogging away.
In a hundred years no one will give a dam. Covid 19 will be a distant memory that most people know nothing about. She thought that was funny.

listsandbudgets · 02/02/2021 17:32

[quote ShemShem]@singingsoprano

I answered a question

(An attention seeking question but still)

Of course it's possible to maintain your mental health. Millions do it every day [/quote]
You know what... she asked for ideas.. for help.. telling her she's attention seeking and that millions of people can manage their mental health is not helpful or constructive and probably just makes her (and others struggling feel worse than before).

People are seriously struggling just now. Maybe ... just maybe a bit of kindness and attention are exactly what they need. Maybe they genuinely can't cope and their "attention seeking question" is actually a call for help.

If your mental health is good and strong... good, lucky you. Not everyone is so lucky. People struggle for loads of reasons. Hopefully for you they are reasons you've never had to deal with and never will have to deal with.

I wonder what answer you'd have given if the thread title had been "To think its impossible for me to maintain my mental health now" because that is what she's really asking and what lots of us are feeling just now.

Iknowwhatudidlastsummer · 02/02/2021 17:35

Getting out the house

you can still do that

I don't think it ever helps to create more restrictions than we already have.

ArianaVenti · 02/02/2021 17:37

@Sunnydays999

I have mental health problems anyway and they were helped with medication and practical activities. This is where I struggle. My coping mechanisms are shut ! The gym Seeing friends Swimming Getting out the house I also find winter hard . I just feel I have nothing to fall back on

I know sometimes you dont want suggestions to help rather just to let off steam but in case suggestions are any use right now, do you have a friend you can go for a run with? Tbh that's the main thing helping me right now, the exercise plus space away and a (breathless) chat with a friend. Sounds like that would tick a box for you too?

TJ17 · 02/02/2021 17:39

@Sunnydays999

I’m struggling now . You keep hearing look after your mental health , but we can’t . The things I need to do aren’t available.Arguing more as a couple snapping more at the kids . Anyone else feel like this ? Or have any tips

I feel the same 😩 Major mum guilt. I'm so irritable with DC and DH.

We just have to believe there is a light at the end. We are through the worst of it now I do truly believe that. Hang on in there

TJ17 · 02/02/2021 17:42

[quote ShemShem]@singingsoprano

I answered a question

(An attention seeking question but still)

Of course it's possible to maintain your mental health. Millions do it every day [/quote]
Sounds like this person needs help more than anyone
Imagine your first response to someone's distress is to be so spiteful

Definitely not the attributes of a mentally healthy person that's for sure.