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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like sleeping 'face to face'

76 replies

tentimesaday · 02/02/2021 09:01

I dislike facing my partner when I sleep. I don't want to breath bad breath into their face all night (and I don't want them breathing my way either). Logically, sleeping back to back or in spoon formation are preferable. AIBU?

OP posts:
Alexindiamondarmour · 02/02/2021 10:50

@SmileyClare I agree with you - all sounds a bit weird and juvenile having a whinge and being sad. My first thought was he was controlling how she was sleeping! What the hell is he like during the day time??

AllMyPrettyOnes · 02/02/2021 10:51

Me too - worse in the mornings. I just roll over.

Kottbullar · 02/02/2021 10:54

I don't mind it too much, it rarely happens as he's over a foot taller than me so my heads usually facing his chest.
Our default is me being 'the backpack' though.

LindaEllen · 02/02/2021 11:14

I don't mind being face to face but we have a king size bed so there will always be quite a decent gap in between us. I'm definitely not one for being too close if facing each other! Much prefer spooning to start and then back to back if one of us gets too hot.

BarryTheKestrel · 02/02/2021 11:17

We sleep back to back. I hate being breathed on when trying to sleep. We do move around in our sleep and will sometimes wake up face to face but usually we sleep and stay asleep back to back. DH is like a radiator and way too warm to cuddle to sleep in any way.

HappygoesLucy · 02/02/2021 11:18

Bf is 6'4 and I'm 5'5 so it's usually my face to his chest and I get his beard plonked on my head. We can't sleep any other way. Am I the only one who likes hearing my partner breathe? Shock

Original poster
tentimesaday · 02/02/2021 17:52

@HappygoesLucy It's looking that way [Wink]

OP posts:
MellowMelly · 02/02/2021 17:58

I can’t stand it. I don’t want to inhale their old air waste. I also agree about the claustrophobic bit because when I have tried sleeping face to face I’ve started panicking because I can’t breathe in fresh cool air.

DeeThree · 02/02/2021 18:01

I can't believe anyone likes it, as is borne out by this thread!

Pinkfreesias · 02/02/2021 18:30

It gets too hot when we sleep face to face and I get panicky when I have to breathe in hot air. Luckily, I have to sleep on my back now while my husband moves around a lot, so it doesn't happen any more.

BlueThistles · 02/02/2021 18:52

I have found my people 🎉

I'm the same... back to back sleeping suit me fine .... 😴

BubblyBarbara · 02/02/2021 18:57

Super king. Separate duvets. Bliss.

Ragwort · 02/02/2021 18:59

I haven't shared a bedroom with my DH for years, hate sharing a bed. The only time we have to share is when we are on holiday (I insist on twin beds) - that's about the only positive side of Covid preventing holidays at the moment Grin.

TheOtherMaryBerry · 02/02/2021 18:59

Yes, back to back absolutely. I don't like touching at all! Partly because I sleep so lightly that I get disturbed by every movement. My ideal would be separate bedrooms but we don't have a spare room at the mo but one day...!!!

Rhubarbcrumblerules · 02/02/2021 19:02

I preferred it when my husband was in a different bed in a different room. Even better now we are almost divorced and he's I'm a different house in a different county. Oh, and the snoring too. Bliss Smile

eurochick · 02/02/2021 19:02

It was like sleeping in a fecking wind tunnel. I hit my limit about a year ago, decamped to the spare room and have stayed there! It is bliss. I never want to share a bed again.

ButterflyBitch · 02/02/2021 19:08

@Cornishmaiden

No I don't like this either. If he turns over and faces me, I roll the other way or gently (ish) turn him back the other way and say 'you're snoring!' even if he isn't. Grin
I do this Grin
Washimal · 02/02/2021 19:11

DH and I quite often sleep face to face. I've never given it a moment's thought, but after reading this thread I now realise we're weird! Grin

Labobo · 02/02/2021 19:12

We have a cat filter usually, lying on the pillow between us. Otherwise, I face the other way.

Shortysoso · 02/02/2021 19:33

I wait til he’s asleep and the pull a corner of his pillow, if I get the right amount of movement he turns over - have to be careful though, too much and he wakes up and asks what’s going on. I whistle nonchalantly with my hands behind my back, which isn’t easy lying down.

Miljea · 02/02/2021 23:14

Making me laugh!

We don't touch each other in bed, either. We have a king and we're both around 5'7 so lots of room.

I don't think DH would mind if we slept with my arm and leg flung over him as he sleeps the sleep of the dead. I, however, need my space.

We tend to sleep back to back, but with enough duvet to fill the gap so we don't get the chilly breeze!

But I always recall my poor aunt who spent her entire married life sharing a 4'6 bed with her DH. She loved visiting my parents as they had single beds there!

Terminallysleepdeprived · 02/02/2021 23:22

Back to back and as far away from each other as we can get.

1] Dp suffers with horrific violent night terrors..this is the safest way to survive them

2] manky sleep breath...urgh

3] claustrophobic to be too close

4] according to some random expert on a magazine in the drs waiting room (pre covod obvs) it is the sign of a secure and trusting relationship

MrsGRamsay · 02/02/2021 23:25

This is how I broke my Clavicle!!! We had a huge bed (tbh - I usually decamped to the spare room) but inbetween properties, had to share a small double. His weird "pfftt" snoring in my face drove me bonkers so I'd be right on the edge of my side until the night I actually fell out out of bed, hit the bedside cabinet, broke my clavicle and had concussion! Still waiting to move into new place and currently sleeping (or not) on two seater sofa.

TheOtherMaryBerry · 03/02/2021 08:07

No I don't like this either. If he turns over and faces me, I roll the other way or gently (ish) turn him back the other way and say 'you're snoring!' even if he isn't. grin

I do this

Yes, me too!! Blush

wishes1111 · 03/02/2021 13:14

No never start face to face unless we turn in the night and don't know about it.

Usually have a cuddle then he turns on his side facing opposite way because I read my kindle then I either sleep on my back or face the other side.