TW suicide To think labelling people’s suicide attempts

[Ibeliveinyou]

As para suicidal is likely to stop them reaching out. Professionals should take it seriously. I worry everyday day that I’m going to lose my best friend due to professionals lack of care.

What does para suicidal mean?

What show was this? Never heard that term before.

It means someone saying that they made an attempt but it wasn’t really a proper attempt.

What would your preferred term be?

Well what would you call it if the person is doing it to get help and knows it isn't likely to be lethal?

It is a suicidal gesture... the intention is not to die but is something else... like help seeking, or manipulation.

I've been told that using the term suicide is problematic in itself, as it refers to a time when it was regarded as a sin/crime. And an attempt brings in success or failure with all that baggage depending upon interpretation.

I would have thought that a more more appropriate term would be took steps intended to end their life?

OP, I agree with you. It used to be called 'a cry for help' but was seen as a manipulative self-indulgent gesture. But actually it is exactly that: a cry for help.

I mean I kind of disagree with the previous comment about it being hard- you can kill yourself with a piece of paper or a plastic bag if you had the intent to- god forbid. It would be horrible but it’s possible and happens.

Parasuicidal tends to be in the context of self harm followed by self rescue; so it’s not saying ‘oh that’s ok we shan’t worry’, it’s about understanding the function of those acts. Is it to signal distress, does it help with coping, is it to elicit x y or z? That’s going to be different for every person. Obviously it is still dangerous and the person is at risk of death by misadventure. It’s not to minimise the behaviour but it would be wilfully misunderstanding it to call it a suicidal act if the person has done the same things repeatedly and set things out so that it does not result in death (ie going to bridge but ringing police fire and ambulance on the way). Understanding the function can serve to then help develop alternative strategies.

Sorry, I was too explicit on methods in my previous post so it was deleted. I was just trying to say that it's not an easy thing to do, even if you are hell bent on it.

Anyway, I just think that just because someone is not able to do themselves in effectively, it shouldn't be held against them.

@Lass67

I see what you mean about someone hanging about on bridges and calling the emergency services. It does look a bit dramatic. My point stands though, it's a big decision and honestly, nobody in their right mind would do that if they weren't desperate. I'd, personally, die of shame if I did that but we are all different snd I wouldn't shame someone else for that.

@RickJames

Sorry, I was too explicit on methods in my previous post so it was deleted. I was just trying to say that it's not an easy thing to do, even if you are hell bent on it.

Anyway, I just think that just because someone is not able to do themselves in effectively, it shouldn't be held against them.

@Lass67

I see what you mean about someone hanging about on bridges and calling the emergency services. It does look a bit dramatic. My point stands though, it's a big decision and honestly, nobody in their right mind would do that if they weren't desperate. I'd, personally, die of shame if I did that but we are all different snd I wouldn't shame someone else for that.

A few years back, I brought my town centre to a stand still and made the local paper with an attempt. I called the Samaritans but a member of the public called the police. I still feel huge shame about it now.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I've been told that using the term suicide is problematic in itself, as it refers to a time when it was regarded as a sin/crime. And an attempt brings in success or failure with all that baggage depending upon interpretation.

I would have thought that a more more appropriate term would be took steps intended to end their life?

I don’t believe the word “suicide” is a problem, it is preferring to it as “committing suicide” which is a problem.

It’s the “committing” which refers to when it was a crime. Nowadays you can’t “commit suicide”, but you can still “die by suicide”.

I hate ‘attention seeking’ when used near suicide or someone’s attempts to end their life
Terms like para suicide is diminishing risk
Diminishing pain and suffering

Professionals downplaying suicidal behaviour is reasonably prevalent in my experience. And the usual response by the person is just to make them determined to do it worse next time. It can be a way to express your feelings when you are desperate. It should always be taken seriously as of course it is very dangerous behaviour. About 1 in 10 people with EUPD (Emotionally Unstable Personality Disorder) complete suicide.

To be frank, the physical act of suicide is easy. There are a few methods that are unlikely to fail. Speaking from personal experience here, I believe most people who have 'failed' attempts didn't genuinely want to die at that moment - they just want people to realise that they are seriously considering it. Alternatively they changed their mind at the last second because in the moment where death was so close they realised they didn't want it. Very rarely is a suicide attempt 'attention seeking' just for the hell of it.

@XenoBitch

Massive hugs and dont feel shame please xxxx

I hope you are in a better place now fuck the paper for making it into a story.

@XenoBitch
You have nothing to feel shame for. If someone had a physical health crisis that caused disruption people would understand. A mental health crisis is just as deserving of understanding and compassion.

And as a PP said fuck the paper for turning it into a story.

Another very important point to assess is the intent - which can be assessed in a structured manner. To say someone 'attempted suicide' assumes that they wanted to die, whereas they may not have had that intent. It could be an impulsive act, or done whilst intoxicated, been accidental or been an act of deliberate self-harm without suicidal intent. On the other hand, someone might

Sorry, hit the post button in error. Using the terms 'deliberate self-harm' and discussing if 'suicidal intent' was/is present is more useful clinically.

@12frogsincoats

To be frank, the physical act of suicide is easy. There are a few methods that are unlikely to fail. Speaking from personal experience here, I believe most people who have 'failed' attempts didn't genuinely want to die at that moment - they just want people to realise that they are seriously considering it. Alternatively they changed their mind at the last second because in the moment where death was so close they realised they didn't want it. Very rarely is a suicide attempt 'attention seeking' just for the hell of it.

The thing you're missing out on there is that men and women tend to choose different methods, which is why women may be more likely to attempt suicide but men are more likely to die - in the UK at least, might be different in other countries.

Some people will repeatedly threaten suicide without taking action. Professionals have to assess their intent - have they made a plan, have they taken actions, are there protective factors (eg supportive family) or risk factors (eg access to lethal means). Clearly they won't get it right every time sadly. And some people who do tragically die may not have actually been suicidal - but been intoxicated, or impulsively done something very dangerous- possibly without realising the danger.

@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I've been told that using the term suicide is problematic in itself, as it refers to a time when it was regarded as a sin/crime.
Are you confusing this with the term 'committing' suicide. I went on a MH first aid course and we were asked not to use the word 'commit' but to use the word 'complete' instead. i.e. Someone completed suicide.

[quote Calmandmeasured1]**@NeverDropYourMoonCup

I've been told that using the term suicide is problematic in itself, as it refers to a time when it was regarded as a sin/crime.
Are you confusing this with the term 'committing' suicide. I went on a MH first aid course and we were asked not to use the word 'commit' but to use the word 'complete' instead. i.e. Someone completed suicide.[/quote]
I did the same course. They said not to use the term Suicide at all.

I was just about to say the term “completed suicide” is preferable.
I think suicide is so individual, for some it may be a cry for help.
My good friend stabbed herself to escape domestic violence. She knows she could have died but she was so desperate for help. Her exH was so shocked by her action it bought her enough time to grab her DC and stumble onto the street where passers by phoned the police. If she would have died, would anyone have known her intention?