To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

[quote Cacacoisfarraige]@murakamilove

I was the first time mum who took all the baby books seriously. Armed with a first 1000 words type book did a quick count 😂 the baby books were abandoned for no 2 and 3.
I wasn’t a twat just an anxious mum trying to do
The best she could .

But I also wouldn’t say it to anyone else, as I don’t like to brag.

When mine were young the obsession was if they ‘slept through’ - mine never slept, others talked about sleeping for 10+ hours and long daytime naps (mine all drop theirs before 2)[/quote]
I’d have happily traded my early talking never sleeping dd2 for a late talking good sleeper!!

Now at 13 I’m lucky to get more than two words out of her and she’s forever sleeping.

Babies are babies they are all different. Don’t let the fact that someone’s DC may be doing something earlier than yours upset you.

When my dd was a baby 17 years ago there was a child who spoke really well at 13 ish months . It was weird but she had other siblings and copied them . If anything I'd be cautious of my child being outside the normal boundaries ( one way or the other ) she will no doubt lose many friends if she keeps posting shite like that though!!🙄

I’m sure you’re not a twat (sorry, harsh of me), just seen so many friends and colleagues confidence destroyed by boastful, dominating people in baby group - we should all be building each other up - babies and children are all different and we’re all doing our best. X

I’m sure you’re not a twat (sorry, harsh of me),

I didn't take it to heart, dont worry. I've been called worse in my time and I did post on AIBU.

I have enjoyed reading all the comments so thank you all who have so far taken the time to post. I'm still absolutely blown away by how many outliers there are who can speak so eloquently at just over 1. It's honestly staggered me so many people have or know children so clever verbally so as I've conceeded before clearly it's not as unremarkable ot impossible as I initially thought.

Mum of the linguistically advanced child has still not posted in the group since her reply to the other parent so hopefully she realised it was insensitive. I honestly wouldn't want anyone to feel like they couldn't share their child's achievements but I still maintain there was a better way for her to do so. Maybe part of a discussion on how well the babies language was developing rather than stating how well her child was doing and then choosing to not engage supportively when others then responded.

@murakamilove

What sort of twat: A/ counts their child’s 106 words B/ tells other people?!?!?!

Surely if you read something that says that toddlers should/might have fifty words by age X then it’s human nature to think “I wonder how many DC can actually say?” and get counting?

Haha, i love that she actually gives such a specific number! I already don’t like her and I’ve never met her! She’s talking garbage. Why don’t you meet at the playground and then wait to hear this astonishing vocabulary lol.

I suppose it's not impossible but unlikely. It's all relative and no indication of future performance or skills in other areas. My 2 were not anyway near that word count I'm sure, but were relatively early walkers (9 months) -not that it has made any difference in the long run, at 11 and 13 (years) they spend most of their time sat in swivel chairs and if they manage 500 steps a day at the moment, it's a good one.
At any rate, I'm sure she'll find herself wishing the child would zip it and give her some peace before too long and they will probably still end up reverting to grunts and monosyllabic conversation as a teen, just like most of the others. Ignore her!

I counted my first child’s words and wrote them all down because I wanted to keep my dm updated with the minutiae of his life (lives far away). Didn’t happen for the other DC so definitely a PFB thing. He had quite good speech and nowhere near that many words at 13 months. Just smile and nod. The other mum should just look up developmental norms for speech and be reassured. Also who cares. I mean even when I had my PFB I knew only me and his grandmother cared. A bit of insight goes a long way.

I counted and wrote down both my children’s words. I was interested in keeping note of their development. I also wrote a journal/memory book for each of them.

My child is 5 nearly 6. Personally I thought he has spoken great since the age of about 3 but that's what us mums do. To everyone else he has only really spoken correctly for the last year or so

On the evening of my first boys birthday DH and I counted up all his (frequently used in context) and were amazed at our list of almost 100 words. He could be understood by everyone not just us, he used to freak people out ‘argh the baby talks’. But here’s the thing, he was great at talking but he could barely move, he struggled with crawling, he didn’t take a first step until he was about 16 months. Then came our second DS. He said about the same amount of words by his second birthday, but boy could he get about. By 6 months there was nowhere that boy couldn’t get, which was far scarier than a talking baby. I guess my point is, that they’re all different, their all special and precious. Maybe don’t worry too much about the milestones and what your friends children are doing. Obvs if something they can’t do is causing them distress and their starting school without the basics then call the GP or health visitor. Otherwise just enjoy, it’s such a small amount of time, take it all in and have fun (as much as possible when your really tried and knee deep in washing and nappies)

The first baby books I had read said 2 years for talking, so I definitely wasn't worried that DS didn't say any words at 13 months. He understood us and babbled, but no words. But then I kept reading articles talking about number of words they should be saying at certain ages and at 18 months I began to worry a little.

My DS was then having regular developmental check ups at the hospital, following an infection, so I had an expert ask and I hope this reassures the other mother. I asked the paediatrician when DS was 18 months when he should start talking and she said, very firmly, 2 years. As long as he understood us and was making some sounds, could communicate his needs in some way, around 2 years is the expected age.

Sure enough, he started saying a few clear words around 22 months and then loads more came thick and fast and he was talking in complete sentences fairly soon after. At 4 now, he never stops talking and his vocab is great.

My friend has a 13 month old DD and says approx 3 words. She also has a 24 month DD who to be honest doesn't say more than a dozen clear words but does say many sounds that we can figure out the word meaning but still probably a lot less than 100.
All kids learn at different rates and it bugs me when parents try to compete with other parents over whose child is more advanced especially when the parent is usually talking bullshit.

I'd be interested to know how many of us with very early talkers ended up with a diagnosis of Aspergers/HFA later on. There are several of us on this thread.

I wasn't precious enough to count but my eldest was very verbose at this age and had a wide number of words he could say.
He is still chatty (never stops talking) but his writing and written reasoning are well below his speaking level and his actual age.
Kids develop different skills at different times, let her have her moment, or don't. It won't affect you or your child in the grand scheme of things.

@sadpapercourtesan

Interesting. I posted on the thread yesterday I think it was and my ds who was a late talker was diagnosed with Aspergers aged 8, he’s 18 next month.
The one who spoke very early is dd ( 10 ) and I highly suspect she has ADHD. I was diagnosed with it myself last year aged 42.

I was a very early talker too.

I'd be interested to know how many of us with very early talkers ended up with a diagnosis of Aspergers/HFA later on. There are several of us on this thread.

Not me.

@sadpapercourtesan

I'd be interested to know how many of us with very early talkers ended up with a diagnosis of Aspergers/HFA later on. There are several of us on this thread.

My child with Aspergers was my late talker - he was 2.5, whereas my early talker does not have any SN.

My normal range talker DS1 went for initial assessment of aspergers but we were told that it was likely to be borderline and at that point he had no issues so we didn't pursue.

My very early talker was diagnosed with dyspraxia at age 17 but the consultant thinks that it may have been triggered by a post strep infection when he was about 7. The ability to ride a pedal bike at age 2.5 and early promise at kicking a rugby ball didn't really equate with his inability to walk in a straight line or hop when older.

Our party trick when he was about 7 months (couldn't sit up yet properly) if you said to him "what colour is that?" he would say "ye yo" (yellow) so as long as you pointed to something yellow then it looked amazing! DH taught him to say Led Zeppelin (well Leb Zebbadin) before he was a year old - we moved a week after his first birthday and he was saying it before we moved so I'm certain.

@AlexaShutUp

I'd be interested to know how many of us with very early talkers ended up with a diagnosis of Aspergers/HFA later on. There are several of us on this thread.

Not me.

Not me, or my dc, or my brother who was also a very early talker.

Maybe. My oldest was fairly quick at learning to talk and she spoke clearly (not sure it was that many words though) my youngest barely said anything until he was well over 2 and his speech was hard to understand - neither ever stop talking now!

Definitely possible, my dd said her first words at 9m and was speaking in very clear, comprehensible sentences at 12m. I've got no idea how many actual words she had, it wouldn't occur to me to count them, I didn't know that was a thing. Anyway, fast forward 10 years and it turns out DD has ASD and very early speech can be common amongst girls on the spectrum. Her early speech has helped her not one bit in life, her comprehension of non verbal communication is low and she struggles massively with social interaction with her peers and online learning is impossible for her as her language processing is slow and even slower online. Thankfully I never thought to brag about her early speech, I'd look like a right dick now if I had.

My son (hes at uni now) could definitely say over 100 words at aged 13 months - Ive got a list written down somewhere - in context and with understanding. He was fluent by 18 months.

Super bright, brain like an encyclopdia but it comes with major drawbacks eg autism (which can have its pluses too) mental health struggles, behavioural issues. He himself would admit that having an amazing ability to recall facts, such a high ability in an academic sense isnt always great as he struggles so much in other ways. Being a bit more average is appealing.