To think a 13 month old cannot say 106 words?

[TinyChatterbox]

Just over a year ago I had my first child and like many did an antenatal group. As lockdown commenced several of us managed to track each other down on Facebook and we started a group chat. There are now 5 of us who were in the original antenatal group in this chat and its been lovely to catch up albeit virtually every now and again.

All 5 of us are first time parents and one of the group boastfully posted yesterday evening that her daughter (who is 13 and 1/2 months) can now say 106 words. Now I'm not disputing she may think her child says that many words but she's talking utter bullshit isn't she. There is absolutely no way her 14 month old actually says 106 words which could be understood by anyone.

It's really pissed me off and I'd love some clarification because one of the mums in the group, who is quite a young mother, has responded in a blind panic that her child who is also 13 months only says 8 words. She's understandably completely freaking out and has messaged the health visitor as there is clearly something wrong with her daughter.

YANBU - The mum is deluded to think her child says 106 words.

YABu - It's perfectly possible a 13 month old can say 106 words.

Competitive parenting milestones is very strange really. I think about my DSIS she was late walking (18 months) and normal for speech etc but she has got 2 degrees, a 1st class law degree she took via OU as a hobby later in life as well as a 2 -1 in French and Spanish from University when she left schools.

My DSIS didnt meet milestones early, if anything late yet she has had a successfull career as an Air Traffic Controller and did incredibly well academically later in life too so dont get too hung up on this competitive parenting malarky.

I on the otherhand was very quick to walk and talk and am distinctly average now as an adult, didnt go to Uni, left with CSEs..but from my early milestones you would think I would be brilliant as an adult :)

@OwlBeThere

My oldest child didn’t talk until she was almost 3, my youngest I could have conversations with at 13 months. You wouldn’t be able to tell which was which now. 🤷🏼‍♀️

This is exactly the same for my 2 ^

god lord, i could not bear to be in the company of a mother like that! run for the hills every time she shows up! My 15 month old says dada for everything and points at what she wants or pushes things away she doesn't want, do i worry about her development? no because when have you ever met an adult that still crawls and can't talk? (not including friday nights out or the xmas work party?)

I remember being very upset by the words my friend used to describe her DS who was in her eyes late at achieving milestones, she called him Backward Billy.

Sounds unlikely ( has she got a ticklist? Why not just say "around 100"?)

A mum at my postnatal group was weaning her baby at 2 weeks, potty trained and very advanced at 12 months when mine couldn't even walk!

I'm not saying it's related, but she is one of the most clenched and opinionated human I have ever met. Maybe because I was jealous 😂 but didnt have anything nice to say about anyone esp her mil and possibly terrified her child into perfection 😉

@Lycopodium8

I randomly saw this thread in the Active Discussion section. My kids are now 8 and 11 (years not months!) but this competitive bullshitting parent nonsense happens all the time ... you have to learn to ignore it. There's always the mums in the school playground who insists her LO reads Tolkien, sat a maths GCSE paper for fun and got some kind of amazing percent etc. Its never true. I have absolutely no idea how many words my kids said at 13 months but they now never shut up :)

I used to look after my grand daughter when she was little. Was made to feel woefully inadequate that she only had 2 teeth when others had 6! It’s all bullshit.

They grow and learn at their own rate

When my DS was that age I proudly recorded his 'new words' Iowa and Ohio.

*do i worry about her development? no because when have you ever met an adult that still crawls and can't talk? (not including friday nights out or the xmas work party?) x

I might borrow that phrase if she posts something similar again in future about any of the others being 'behind'.

For now I've just responded well done X and then asked if anyone knows of a good way to measure babies feet so I can buy DS some outdoor shoes when he's confident with walking as the shops are likely still going to be closed.

@LizFlowers An 'ante natal group' sounds dreadful. I'm glad no such things existed when I was pregnant. I just went to the ante natal clinic on my day, end of

these groups have existed for at least 40 years.

@Lalapurple

At 13 months my son said no words- and that was normal. The Health Visitor said they only start to worry around 18 months (and even then there may not be a problem) What happened with mine was when the words came - at 17 months or so - they came very fast- and I think he is now fairly ahead. So your friend with the 13 month old really shouldn't worry at all. And your other friend sounds obnoxious.

This sounds like my DSIS who was taking it all in and storing it up but very quiet. Actually at school one of her teachers went up to her when she was about 8 and said BOO! as he wanted to see her reaction as she was so quiet. That really upset her and she still talks about it now at 57

I used to look after my grand daughter when she was little. Was made to feel woefully inadequate that she only had 2 teeth when others had 6! It’s all bullshit.

That’s ridiculous. A relative of ours was always really competitive about what shoe size her kids were in comparison to ours. 😬

@StrangerHereMyself

Oh and one last thing, it’s all very well to say “they all catch up” when it comes to speech, but genuinely late speakers always need a proper hearing test rather than a complacent “she’ll get there in her own time”.

Maybe with some. I knew a young woman who did not say one word before the age of three! She grew up to be a highly intelligent professional. Goodness knows why she spoke late, could be that her older sister did all the talking for her but there was nothing wrong with her at all.

I could say about that many - my mum kept a scrapbook of everything

@TinyChatterbox

*do i worry about her development? no because when have you ever met an adult that still crawls and can't talk? (not including friday nights out or the xmas work party?) x

I might borrow that phrase if she posts something similar again in future about any of the others being 'behind'.

For now I've just responded well done X and then asked if anyone knows of a good way to measure babies feet so I can buy DS some outdoor shoes when he's confident with walking as the shops are likely still going to be closed.

You can buy a clark's measuring gauge online

Bless your mum. I can't say I made a note of all the words mine said but I particularly remember "'copter'" (helicopter), and various songs - 'Video killed the radio star' being one. 'Lady bird' came out as something else - could say 'lady' and 'bird' but not together. 'Music' was 'mugix'. Sweet.

Happy days.

One of the funniest memories I have of my DN, we were in a shop and I was pushing her in her pushchair, she was about 18 months and she said to a stranger in front of us in the queue, "nice weather isnt it duck" she was a funny little thing, but spoke it exactly like her DFs DM, so she learnt to speak like granny. It seemed so odd but very amusing.

However well they speak as babies they turn into inarticulate yobs when puberty is on the horizon. One minute they come bounding in from school, jumping around saying, "Guess what mummy...?", in high pitched voice, the next minute it's, "I'm goin out wiv my mates", all one word. It happens overnight :-).

My 22 month is still barely talking, says about 30 words max and not distinct. I think it's less, but others tell me they are hearing them. I'm not fussed as it's too early to worry, and my first child barely talked until 30 months and now will not stop. He sits alone in his room chattering away to himself! Kids catch up most of the time. My eldest son is doing well at school, so late talking hasn't had an impact on his intellect.

Sound like your friend is telling porky pies. It is possible her child is saying that much, but very, very unlikely. Humour her and tell her to enter her child for the Mensa exam .

I mean, who even counts?! I take it this is a PFB?

As PP have said, unless a child is significantly delayed with major milestones none of this shit really means anything, and competing on it is the most pointless, miserable thing imaginable. My second born had four reliable words aged 2: mama, dada, yes and no. That was six months ago and hello complex language explosion. They all get there when they're ready, generally.

If I really wanted to be a bitch about it, I might shoot back that highly intelligent children are often very late talkers.

DPs family were generally late to meet their mile stones. My family generally early. DPs family thought my dds were super advanced being early walking and talking. To my family they were just normal, as we had all been like that.

Dd1 walked at 10 months and could could talk at least as well as the LO in the OP, I couldn’t give you exact numbers of words as probably stopped counting at around 20 (at 8 months), but was definitely using short sentences. DPs DN on the other hand didn’t walk until 18 months and was still pretty non verbal when I met her at 2. She also wasn’t reliably potty trained until she was about 4, where as my dds were dry day and night by the time they were 2.

If we had compared them at the time, DSIL may have thought I was boasting or could have worried about her dds development. But now at age 16 and 19 you wouldn’t know which one was the early or the late developer. They are both bright hard working girls and the world will be their oyster!

Meeting mile stones early can seem really important when they’re tiny, but you soon learn that it doesn’t matter. The normal range is huge at that age and early talking has very little to do with being a successful adult!

@LizFlowers

However well they speak as babies they turn into inarticulate yobs when puberty is on the horizon. One minute they come bounding in from school, jumping around saying, "Guess what mummy...?", in high pitched voice, the next minute it's, "I'm goin out wiv my mates", all one word. It happens overnight :-).

I look forward to it . As long as the teen yob version of DS actually sleeps I think I'll welcome him with open arms. 🤣

TinyChatterbox ^as long as the teen yob version of DS actually sleeps I think I'll welcome him with open arms.*

I remember getting a Fitbit that monitored sleep and I hadn't realised it was posting all my sleep patterns to Facebook. One of my friends was absolutely horrified, I always wondered if it put him off having kids until recently

I have known a couple of really precocious talkers and actually both have continued to be pretty smart kids. Mine were all fairly slow to chat. Parents brag because they are proud and whilst I know it can be flipping annoying, I always try to swallow that. Mostly my negative reaction is more about my own insecurities regarding my own children’s development.

I have a friend who brags terribly but she always manages to be utterly thrilled with other people’s achievements. It’s actually quite a lovely thing. Try not to stoop to bitching about the mother in question.

Mine could, but then she still wasn't walking at that age, whereas my friend's son was walking at 9 months. I think they are all ahead in some things and behind in others.