Not enjoying being a parent

[Crabby12345]

I don’t know why I’m posting, maybe just to get some advice. I have a 5 year old and 2 year old who never sleep.
The 5 year old is up multiple times a night, for a wee, scared of dark, for a chat. The list goes on. I’m regularly up 2-3 times a night with her and up for the day for 5am. I also have a 2 year old who doesn’t sleep. To say she is hard work is an understatement. She is slap bang in the terrible twos and the days are a battle and with homeschooling my eldest, trying to work part time and looking after her I feel like I’m at the end of my tether.
I feel absolutely awful saying it, but I don’t enjoy being a mum to either of them at the moment. I’m forever stressed, the house is a mess and to top it all I can’t even get a bit of sleep in the night. My partner works a high pressure job and helps where he can and gets up with them in the night but with them in and out of bed and in our room they wake me up even when he is dealing with them. I write this at 6am having been awake since 3.45 trying to get the youngest to sleep with the eldest keeps popping in. I’m ashamed to say I lost it at one point and shouted at her to go to her bed. I don’t know if anyone has been in this situation and has any coping methods? Making up for sleep in the day is not an option as I have to home school and look after the youngest and obviously school and pre school and both off the table at the moment. I feel so miserable and can’t go on like this.

I'm glad you are making progress.

One thing that strikes me, is that your husband can't seemingly help out much because of his super important, super stressful, sitting in his backside working from home job (that a disproportionate amount of them seem to have...) but you are up for the day at 5am after a disrupted night. I'm assuming he starts work at 8-9? In which case, you take the bulk of the night, and he gets up with the children at 5am, and hands over a minute before he has to be at his desk. That will give you an extra 3-4 hour block. And yes, him getting up at 5 is crap, but if he goes to bed at 10, that's an unbroken 7 hours. That should be plenty. And at the weekend, either you sleep in longer, or you alternate who does the bulk of the night and the morning.

It's neither fair nor sustainable that you do the night wake ups and the early morning. Him working does not trump your basic human need for sleep.