To think you don’t set out to create traditions, they just happen

[Butterflyfluff]

Inspired by the thread about Sunday nights of your childhood but there’s lots of it a Christmas too

Thing we look back on fondly and think of as ‘traditions’ are actually things that just ‘happened’ and they weren’t ‘designed’ to be traditions

Most of the charm of them comes from the fact it’s just what you did without thinking about it and when you look back they are comforting memories as it’s just the way things were

It makes me sad when people say they ‘want to create traditions’

Like so much in the world now, it seems so contrived

@Butterflyfluff

I’m not saying people shouldn’t plan anything (I’m a big planner) - just that it’s odd to plan something thinking (and announcing) that they’ll carry on doing it every week / month / year before they’ve even done it once

Who is doing this? And vocalising it? I'm not being snarky genuinely I've just never seen it.

The things I plan are in a notebook app, nobody ever sees them, I just then, accumulate things for the purpose, then just do, then if it goes down well I note what worked and what didn't etc and make a mental note.

you'll know of every plan they intend to make even before it begins. You just learn to nod and wish them good luck. If it works out, great. If not, pretend you never knew.

That’s a good point - I guess it’s not limited to ‘traditions’

I also know someone like you mention, who comes up with all these ideas that they tell everyone about and then some never happen, some go wrong and some work out OK

I’m much more conservative with things like that and only ‘announce’ stuff when it’s confirmed / happened so that there’s actually something to tell

Still - life would be boring if we were all the same!

Yes I know what you mean OP.

We have family traditions that have just sort of emerged. Our families get a bit confused and annoyed when they hear we don't do X 'but we always did x'. Yes and we have taken some and carried them on but some have been discarded as they didn't fit or suit our lifestyle so we don't do them. Some things we have done have caught. They can be pretty random things that no one outside would get

Who is doing this? And vocalising it? I'm not being snarky genuinely I've just never seen it.

Lots of people on MN at Christmas in particular

The making memories thing I don't get either and seems to cause a lot of pressure.

Going to do X special thing as a family and the kids don't like it/ get tried etc and then there's all this angst.

Again the things we all remember are unpredictable and pretty random

I’m much more conservative with things like that and only ‘announce’ stuff when it’s confirmed / happened so that there’s actually something to tell

Me too.

@Butterflyfluff

Who is doing this? And vocalising it? I'm not being snarky genuinely I've just never seen it.

Lots of people on MN at Christmas in particular

I love planning for Christmas (on the Christmas boards especially)🎅🦌🎄☃️ with a "I hope we continue to do this as a tradition" sentiment

*But I don't think I've ever seen it being announced that it absolutely definitely will be happening whether other participants enjoy it or not (not without being tongue in cheek I mean!)

I haven't read the whole thread but agree with your OP. We go to a specific place each year around Christmas (not this year obv). It just happened I booked it one year for DD, thought it was nice and booked again the following year. It's now 5 years running and I see it as a Christmas tradition to get us into Christmas spirits. I didn't set out to create a tradition,, it evolved. If we didn't go one year it wouldn't ruin Christmas for us.

Some traditions I've adopted from family, others have just evolved. I don't like the idea of things feeling forced and i do agree with the social media aspect of people wanting to create memorial and traditions for the sake of it.

I'm talking about little things really.

Like how we have to have the 70s and 80s Xmas pop songs going while we do the tree.
The ceremonial topping of the tree with a random non denominational thing.
The story we read on Xmas Eve.
How the kids always wait to open their stockings even though we never asked them to, and then come and get into bed with us to do it.

That sort of thing. Nothing big or needing organising. More just, this is how we do Xmas and it's evolved as the kids grew and now. We have to do it that way, it's tradition!

I believe traditions were formed to boost nationalism to begin with. Making the people in a nation feel more bonded with each other through common ideas and rituals will make them stick together and fight together for the same goal when needed. It’s something I studied years ago at uni but my memory is a little vague. It’s covered a lot when speaking of post colonialism.

I suppose the same goes for the smaller scale traditions families make. It’s designed for them to stick together and act in unison.

I agree OP. We have unintentionally created a tradition around my youngest daughters birthday.

She was born on Good Friday. The next year, on good Friday, we were having hot cross buns and I said about how last year it was the day she was born, but her birthday wasn’t for a couple more weeks, so we gave her a hot cross bun with a candle in! We then did the same the following year and have done ever since. She’s 7 this year and tells people she has 2 birthdays, her real birthday and her ‘hot cross bun’ birthday!

Possibly Swedish but an awful lot have surely come from religion as well? To keep people engaged with that etc