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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To be annoyed by the Duchess of Cambridge's claim that home schooling is 'exhausting'

911 replies

Livingtothefull · 29/01/2021 21:43

www.edp24.co.uk/news/kate-middleton-video-call-parents-homeschooling-challenges-pandemic-7080128

I accept that lockdown has had an impact on everyone to some extent, however privileged. But I can't help being irritated by this. Even if we accept that she is doing the home schooling herself without any help, I don't think there is any comparison between her situation and that of many other people. I am not saying lockdown isn't difficult for her.....but it is a million times harder if you are say a single parent, struggling with home schooling and a minimum wage job which you may lose any time, worried sick about your and DC future if this happens. And doing it in a poky flat instead of a vast country estate.

And I know she may be trying to show empathy with the rest of us. But TBH I would have much more respect for the royals if they would just acknowledge their privilege rather than claim common ground which just isn't there.

OP posts:

RickiTarr · 30/01/2021 00:05

@shindiggery are you trying to tell us you’re KM? Or just some other royal?

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:07

Chutneywashisname

No words!

Do we know each other?

I don't think I have such catty friends, actually! It would be my personal nightmare to be KM and I would be crap at it.

marbellamarc · 30/01/2021 00:08

No, then forget about it - and maybe get over being "annoyed" by something so trivial.

Why are you annoyed about others being annoyed. Get over it.

Quit4me · 30/01/2021 00:08

So? Maybe she is struggling in her own way. Just because she has a different life to you, you don’t know her personal struggles with her kids during this lockdown?
I have a big house, money to make me more than comfortable, garden, food on the table and a supportive DH.
Yet I am really struggling with home schooling and fitting my job round it. I’ve found myself feeling very very low at times. I’m exhausted.
Others have it harder I’m sure, but someone always has it harder than you, no matter what your life is like.
She does have a job and a hell of a lot is expected of her, wether you like her or not!!

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:08

The only word she should have said was privileged

And someone would have started a thread complaining that she sounded smug.

minniemango · 30/01/2021 00:08

The Cambridge family are clearly very normal

They're literally the least normal people in the country

minniemango · 30/01/2021 00:10

@ChristOnAPeloton

I don’t know. Obviously she is hugely privileged.... but I doubt money and a big house immunes you from being sick of the sound of “Mummy! Why? Mummy! Why? Mummy! Why?” all day every day.

The difference being, if you tire of the sound, you don't have to listen to it. You have people on the payroll for that.

marbellamarc · 30/01/2021 00:10

The Cambridge family are clearly very normal

😆

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:10

minniemango

Well, yes. However their attachment style is normal and this is in contrast to the traditional 'aristocratic' style of parenting you're determined to believe they must secretly practice.

Chutneywashisname · 30/01/2021 00:10

Do we know each other?

Probably about as well as you know KM!

backinthebox · 30/01/2021 00:11

I live in a position of privilege. But the things my children miss are the things money cannot buy and privilege cannot fix - they want their cousins, their nana, their aunt and uncle. Their friends, their classmates, their contacts from all their social groups- Cubs, guides, swimming class, pony club, etc. Money and privilege cannot bring these things back atm. This makes life hard when you have kids. If your kids go to, say, Cubs, and now they cannot go, it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, your kids are missing out and you will feel for them, no matter what your background.

Anyone who cannot see that everyone with kids, no matter what their background, will feel bad for their kids, is a bit blind.

Throwaway99 · 30/01/2021 00:12

@shindiggery

The only word she should have said was privileged

And someone would have started a thread complaining that she sounded smug.

I'd have more respect for her honesty than her pretending she was just like us.

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:12

The difference being, if you tire of the sound, you don't have to listen to it.

Actually, money does not take this away. You need money and detachment to walk away. Doesn't matter how big the house is if you know it's going on and it bothers you.

Also...and this may be hard to imagine...but some people have the money to avoid directly raising their children and don't really find it an option. That means they're doing some of the hard stuff, enough to get exhausted if they are responsive to their children.

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:13

I'd have more respect for her honesty than her pretending she was just like us.

Well, maybe she annoys your section of the PR piechart on Tuesdays.

Notcontent · 30/01/2021 00:14

Of course they have a nanny!!!

BUT even if they did not, are they cooking their own meals and washing up? Grocery shopping? Housework? Of course not...

marbellamarc · 30/01/2021 00:15

it doesn’t matter if you are rich or poor, your kids are missing out and you will feel for them, no matter what your background.

Yes my dc are missing out but we have space, jobs, savings, time. I wouldn't compare their missing out to kids from vulnerable &/or deprived backgrounds.

Lucieintheskye · 30/01/2021 00:15

Whether they have tutors or not her only worry is homeschool. She doesn't have to worry that she may not be able to afford her kids, keep them safe from her abusive husband or keep a roof over their heads. She isn't working full time on the frontline or cleaning the house or trying to find a food delivery slot. Her only worry is making sure her kids do their maths work. She hasn't got any reason to complain.

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:16

Anyone who cannot see that everyone with kids, no matter what their background, will feel bad for their kids, is a bit blind.

Yes. There are no winners in this.

I talk to my children frequently about how good they have it relative to others, and give myself a similar talking to, but this does not actually make it less difficult for my children and it doesn't seem to make me less tired. Not, as I've said, that I have a nanny now. Does that mean I'm allowed to say I'm tired?

Nannies aren't Mary Poppins.

shindiggery · 30/01/2021 00:16

She hasn't got any reason to complain.

I don't think she was complaining.

Slipper12 · 30/01/2021 00:17

YABU to judge anybody, everybody needs to stop feeling more hard done by, its not a competition on who is struggling the most. Heavens forbid anyone with a "privileged" background may be struggling just now they have 3 children who will be struggling like everybody else's children any have all the struggles associated with that.

RandomUser18282 · 30/01/2021 00:17

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

GlendaSugarbeanIsJudgingYou · 30/01/2021 00:18

Actually, money does not take this away. You need money and detachment to walk away. Doesn't matter how big the house is if you know it's going on and it bothers you.

I couldn't agree with this more.

Didkdt · 30/01/2021 00:19

Her children are at a school running a full timetable by Zoom
The school extras pastoral SEN and clubs are running
The Cambridge children have at least one nanny.
They have a housekeeper and household staff
The Duke and Duchess have relocated their home office to Sandringham so not at home at Amner Hall
Can someone leap in when we get to the point where her life is blending in with most of ours

marbellamarc · 30/01/2021 00:19

There are no winners in this.

Some have lost a lot more though.

Tobleronehouses · 30/01/2021 00:21

The families living in 'fully staffed households' are not like a breed of dog, you know, nor are the children in them kept caged. You have no idea how they differ. The Cambridge family are clearly very normal and prize a normal dynamic, with the inevitable result that they will be tired because normal children and tired. Being available is tiring. There is every chance that their children behave likes yours do when at home, especially since they can't let go of an adult's hand in public parks. They're probably explosive at home! Read the post upthread where someone is claiming to have direct experience of a Zoom call with them...it sounded very credible.

I like KM personally and I've no doubt they are very hands on parents , especially by the standards of most royals, and favour a normal family dynamic, but it's just a fact that parenting will be a lot easier if you are able to ask a nanny to take the DC off your hands for an hour or so while you work, maybe take the DC out for a walk (and DC have large private grounds in which to play) and you have meals prepared for you and the laundry and cleaning done. And secretaries sorting out the Netflix subscription and the utilities bill. Of course parenting and home schooling is hard in itself but it's less hard when you don't have to do all the family chores too because you have more time to focus solely on the DC. That's why the remark was a bit thoughtless.

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