To say thank you or not?

[stuckinaloopie]

Hello

Leaving a job soon where the manager has been nothing but mean and a bully to me but most of the staff members are alright. The manager upset me so much that I don't say hi to them and avoid them.

AIBU to not buy a "thank you" card for the office? I genuinely am relieved to be leaving because I've been so paranoid about everyone there (I'm like the outsider and everyone knows one another).

I don't feel thankful at all. If it wouldn't be childish, I'd hand-pick people to give cards too rather than give a thank you card that the manager and a not-nice staff member might read and feel good about.

What do you guys thinks?

Thanks

I wouldn't buy a card. However, i've never bought a card when i've left any job, even the ones where I got on great with all colleagues. Is this really something people do?

You should do whatever will avoid burning bridges as you never know when you might want to go back to a company or ask them for a reference. Would it really be that painful to send them a card?

I really wouldn't bother. I nice generic email is the best I'd give tbh!

To be honest, I've never heard of buying a Thank You card when you are leaving a job.
Is this a thing?

Isn't the normal practice just yo say "bye" on your last day?

Why would you buy a thank you card?
And if you don't want to, don't. What are they going to do?

Is it normal for people to buy a thank you card when they leave? I’ve never seen that. Generally everyone buys the person leaving the card.

@minou123 it's like the custom here. People just buy it for the team etc. Nothing's gonna happen if I don't tbh

I'm very relieved and glad majority is saying not to buy a card because I really really don't want to. Thank you!

Never heard of buying a thank you card when leaving a job. I would just send a good bye email on my last day.

In thirty years in the workforce, I have never heard of anyone giving colleagues a thank you card when leaving. A leaving card from colleagues to the one leaving, yes, but not the other way around.

To be honest, I've never heard of buying a Thank You card when you are leaving a job

I did my last job, as not only had they given me lovely gifts, they had all been lovely and kind and helped me learn a lot of new things. So I wanted to say thank you to the whole team. Hence a card.
I wouldn't say its standard or expected though. If you're not thankful, why would you say thank you?

I'm really curious about this. Have I been making a faux pas all these years?

It's not a done thing, in the UK, to buy thank you cards when you leave. So, no, don't!

So odd to buy a thank you card when leaving a job?!

Just send an email saying “sad to go keep in touch” then know you’ll never hear from anyone again

I've never heard of this happening. Are you in the UK?

Never heard of thank you cards when you leave a job! If anyone gets a card it would normally be then getting you a “sorry you’re leaving/good luck” card. Although may be less likely if most people are working remotely at the moment. Where I work some people send an email saying thanks/bye/let’s go for drinks but not everyone does.

Yes I am in the UK. I'm an immigrant and it's just something I picked up when I moved here so I've done it for my last jobs; didn't mind as I felt thankful to the team then. Now, I don't. I like some team members but the horrible ones have been really horrible!

No, never heard of a card in this situation. However, you could word it along the lines of,

'To X department, thank you and best wishes to everyone who has supported me' - then by inference you are not thanking those who didn't.

Any thank you card comes after you've left if they give you a nice pressie / flowers / do something special to mark you leaving.

Are you in another country? In the UK if any cards are exchanged it is the usually a 'sorry you're leaving' or 'goodbye and good luck' card from the people who are left behind as you go. With presents if you're lucky.

[quote stuckinaloopie]@minou123 it's like the custom here. People just buy it for the team etc. Nothing's gonna happen if I don't tbh

I'm very relieved and glad majority is saying not to buy a card because I really really don't want to. Thank you! [/quote]
I genuinely have never heard of this.

The only time I've seen a thank you card is when colleagues have retired and we've done a collection and put on a bit of a do. They may send a thank you card for the gifts etc.

This is a strange custom
Don't do it!

@LApprentiSorcier ah thanks for this. Very clever. Exactly what I'm going to send!

I'm sorry you have had this bad experience. I hope it was not to do with your immigration status. All the best with your next job, I hope you find a better place (I've had my fair share of horrid colleagues so totally sympathise)

I think if you’ve done it thr last few jobs it’s a you thing. It’s not a thing here.

Normal etiquette is the staff by the leaver a card, saying we will miss you kind of thing and often a gift.

Most people would perceive a thank you card a bit odd. So I’d not bother.

I don’t think you would be unreasonable at all.

I have colleagues I really got on with at my last job who were leaving and I took them out for lunch (pre-covid). I didn’t make a big showy gesture about it just asked them if they wanted to have lunch together before they left. I don’t see a problem giving thank you cards to individual people you got on with and helped you out as long as you don’t make a big show of it.

LOL @Bluntness100 it's definitely not a me-thing. It's fine if it's not popular but this is deeply ingrained in the organisation I work for. I'm from a country where we don't do that, so, yeah, definitely picked it up in my organisation in the UK.

@RealisticSketch thank you. 3 years I've been here and this is the first time I've broken down shedding tears at work. But I'm alright now, I'm leaving and everyone knows the manager to be a piece of work. I survived yay!