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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Safeguarding Homeschooling

70 replies

Instagram · 28/01/2021 11:18

Listening into one my children’s online lessons and have heard quite concerning incidents regarding one child.
Today there was a power cut and said child expressed that he was scared as to what had happened and sounded petrified. The teacher told him to tell his mum but he has said he cannot as she doesn’t like homeschooling and he is to stay in his bedroom. The teacher said she would phone him and send someone round if need be. He must have contacted his mum as a chat message said ‘sorry my mum missed the call’.
Is it not standard for a mother to check on their child if there is a power cut (first we have had in this area in many years) or the child should not feel too scared to ask their mum what’s happening.
The mum is a very strict/standoffish person, she will shout and grab her toddler far too harshly for a minor issue.
Her son (8) is a very emotional child and seeks attention from the teachers, I feel so much for him as I think he would be so much safer in school!
I daren’t highlight the issue to school as the child has the same surname as the head teacher.
Please reassure me that there are procedures in place for vulnerable children other than at the headteachers’ discretion. It is an independent school too whether that affects things.

OP posts:
Cocomarine · 28/01/2021 11:23

How was this child online if there was a power cut?
Even if I’m on my phone, if I’m using WiFi the power cut knocks me off that.
My child wouldn’t even notice a power cut given that it’s light during the day - so not sure where the petrified comes from - any loss of internet for the online lesson she would put down to a technical issue, initially.

Are you sure you’ve got the whole story here?

Calvinlookingforhobbes · 28/01/2021 11:24

Follow it it up with the teacher. You are allowed to raise a child welfare concern. Do it, please.

Cocomarine · 28/01/2021 11:25

Re the headteacher’s discretion... I’m sure that any escalation by the school safeguarding lead to an outside agency would involve the head being at the very least informed, even if not the decision maker.
Why not call the NSPCC with your concerns and advice for how to flag without going through school?

Original poster
Instagram · 28/01/2021 12:47

The child came back online when the electric was back on but was so scared as to what had happened. Yet he said he was too scared to goto his mum when the teacher told him to as he sounded so scared. The mum isn’t working from home so that was not the reason.
I will look into how to contact someone as I’m reluctant to goto the head due to the surnames as it’s quite an unusual one for this area so there’s a high chance they are related. I am just worried as normally in school he would be able to voice any worries but now he has no one.
The extended homeschooling will negatively affect his mental health more than other children and the mum is leaving him online in an upstairs bedroom with no supervision and he is not allowed to ask for help in an emergency.

OP posts:
NameSwap21 · 28/01/2021 12:50

Absolutely contact someone ASAP. It's better to be wrong than to let this slide. Good luck

arethereanyleftatall · 28/01/2021 12:54

But doesn't the school/teacher already know as they were there?

piefacedClique · 28/01/2021 12:56

In our school all lessons are recorded for safeguarding reasons. It doesn’t matter if they are related or their surnames are similar. Just draw their attention to it by email and they will check the recording.

IckyPop · 28/01/2021 12:59

The school should have a Designated Safeguarding Lead (DSL). I would hope the child's teacher will be flagging this up with them.
In your position I would email the teacher, cc the DSL explaining your concerns.

mindutopia · 28/01/2021 13:01

The school will certainly be aware, and the lesson should be recorded for safeguarding reasons. I wouldn't necessarily contact the school, no. I would leave this to the teachers who know the child and were there for the full conversation. To be honest, I leave mine unsupervised in another room for online learning. If there was a power cut, she might be scared. She is the sort that would probably come and tell me, but if the power came back on quickly, she might just log in again and say my mum is busy (which is true, I am). I wouldn't necessarily read into that more than you should. But the teachers are there to handle this sort of thing and I would imagine they are already on it.

Original poster
Instagram · 28/01/2021 17:50

I have decided not to escalate my concerns as I spoke online with some other parents whom have informed me that social services have previously been involved when the child was at nursery.

Not sure how it all works but I’m sure there would be some kind of ongoing checks for the boy’s well-being in place. Smile

OP posts:
beela · 28/01/2021 17:53

Please report it to someone if you are worried. If everyone assumes that someone else has it covered then the child will slip through the gaps.

piefacedClique · 28/01/2021 17:58

But what if there aren’t!

Imiss2019 · 28/01/2021 17:59

@Instagram

I have decided not to escalate my concerns as I spoke online with some other parents whom have informed me that social services have previously been involved when the child was at nursery. Not sure how it all works but I’m sure there would be some kind of ongoing checks for the boy’s well-being in place. Smile
🙄🙄
Neolara · 28/01/2021 17:59

If social services have been involved in the past, I would definitely raise it with the designated safeguarding lead. Details of who this person is and how to contact them will be on the school website.

unmarkedbythat · 28/01/2021 18:00

@Instagram

I have decided not to escalate my concerns as I spoke online with some other parents whom have informed me that social services have previously been involved when the child was at nursery. Not sure how it all works but I’m sure there would be some kind of ongoing checks for the boy’s well-being in place. Smile
Don't assume this at all.

Escalate your concerns.

unmarkedbythat · 28/01/2021 18:04

@Instagram

I have decided not to escalate my concerns as I spoke online with some other parents whom have informed me that social services have previously been involved when the child was at nursery. Not sure how it all works but I’m sure there would be some kind of ongoing checks for the boy’s well-being in place. Smile
1- involvement at nursery in no way means involvement is current and it certainly will not mean there are on going wellbeing checks if involvement has ended 2- previous involvement indicates the family have struggled before. Having struggled in the past raises the risks of struggling in the future. 3- even children and families currently open to SS are not getting the contact and intervention they would in non pandemic times. Don't assume that even if the family remain open to SS that they are being checked on and supported sufficiently.

Please raise this with the school. If you cannot do that because of your concerns re the shared surname, please contact social services directly.

WINKINGatyourage · 28/01/2021 18:05

@Instagram

I have decided not to escalate my concerns as I spoke online with some other parents whom have informed me that social services have previously been involved when the child was at nursery. Not sure how it all works but I’m sure there would be some kind of ongoing checks for the boy’s well-being in place. Smile
That’s even more reason to report!! Stop copping out.
WINKINGatyourage · 28/01/2021 18:06

And that fucking smiley face at the end doesn’t make your cop out any less of a cop out. Hmm

PinkDaffodil2 · 28/01/2021 18:08

Please please report if there’s been previous SS involvement - that means this isn’t a one off and it’s extremely likely they’re not being followed up as closely as you seem to think.

HoneysuckIejasmine · 28/01/2021 18:13

Omg, raise it! Seriously!

Teach234 · 28/01/2021 18:19

Please assume nothing and report your concerns to the schools safeguarding leads

Indecisive12 · 28/01/2021 18:20

@Instagram

I have decided not to escalate my concerns as I spoke online with some other parents whom have informed me that social services have previously been involved when the child was at nursery. Not sure how it all works but I’m sure there would be some kind of ongoing checks for the boy’s well-being in place. Smile
No there won’t be any ongoing checks. Once social services back out that’s it until there’s another incident or report that meets thresholds to intervene. Please don’t gossip about it with the other Mums. Speak to the teacher and say how worried you are. Likelihood is the teacher has flagged it but best to follow it up. This is why parents should be in the room with each child on live lessons.
modgepodge · 28/01/2021 18:27

If you don’t want to report it to the school due to concerns about the head, you could phone the NSPCC, who should be able to at least give you advice on what to do, or pass your concern on (not sure how it works with the NSPCC).

Previous safeguarding concerns make it more important you report this, not less.

notanothertakeaway · 28/01/2021 18:28

As an aside, you were listening in to your child's lesson. I think that is a potential safeguarding concern. What is the school's policy on that?

SewVeryLazy · 28/01/2021 18:30

Social worker rely on other reporting concerns after a case has closed if there are any, we have no oversight at that point. It would usually be the school who would do this, but safeguarding is everyone's responsibility and if you suspect the school wouldn't report then you need to. The worst that can happen is no one takes any action, but at least it will be someone with the correct experience making that call