To feel so guilty about my parenting choices?

[Festivemama]

FTM and I genuinely didn't realise how much incessant guilt I would feel about my parenting...

Baby is 4 months old. Feeling guilty about:

-rocking her to sleep (because she's not put down 'drowsy but awake' even though there isn't a chance in hell she would drift off on her own)
-feeding her to sleep (see above about DBA, and by doing so I suppose I'll be feeding her to sleep until she's 10)
-letting her nap on me (tired from the night wake ups so it's easier for me and I enjoy the cuddles)
-putting her in her bouncer during the day so I can get a few bits done (according to other parents, I should have her strapped to me for 8 hours a day or she'll develop attachment issues)
-putting her in nursery full time at 10 months, I'm told this causes emotional and behavioural issues

The list goes on. Sometimes I feel like I'm failing her. I know the obvious is to ignore what other parents are saying, but online groups are the only human contact I have at the moment and I'm desperate to chat with other mums ☹️

Does the guilt ever subside? Do you ever fully feel like you're succeeding, or do you just try your best and hope that's good enough?

Hurrah for Netflix - I can't watch anything now she understands all the words so enjoy!!!

I did all of that and felt guilty for none of it. In fact, mine went into nursery full time at 8 months as I was stir crazy by then - and I didn’t have Covid to contend with.

You’re allowed to do things to make things easier for yourself. You are not causing harm to your child.

Just don't worry about it...you're picking bits from all sorts of parenting 'styles' that aren't yours and beating yourself up. Who cares?!? If it works for you and baby is happy then fab. If not, change something. FWIW, I've fed to sleep, sleep trained, used a bouncer, weaned early and both my babies have/will start nursery at 10 months. They're happy, I'm happy Don't care what anyone else thinks.

Drowsy but awake is a myth for most babies. Feeding to sleep is the biological norm.
Emotional and behavioural problems from full time nursery - what?
Bouncer to get jobs done - 99.9% of parents (0.1% probably have someone else ie a nanny to hold baby)
Does the guilt go away, not fully but you realise there is no right and wrong way to parent as each parent and baby are individual and it sounds like you’re doing fantastic!

You’ll always feel guilty. It’s never left me personally anyway. Have a 3 yo & an 18 month old.

My 18 month old is still breast feeding & my 3yo isn’t potty trained.
I don’t feed them enough fruit & veg
I don’t play with them enough
I’m not teaching them enough
I shout to much
I’m not patient enough
The list is endless, honestly.

But I love them more than anyone else ever could in the entire world & I would die before letting a hair be harmed on their heads. So really, I think the intense guilt just comes from wanting to do the absolute best by them but also being a flawed human who cannot do it all!

Don’t beat yourself up OP

I did all of those things with my now 2 year old. He is no longer rocked to sleep but is cuddled to sleep which for me and him isnt a problem. I stopped feeding him to sleep around 9 months but that was all him. He thriving. He adores nursery and when he went back after the first lockdown his speech came on leaps and bounds so it is defo good for him to be in nursery. It's so easy to feel guilty (I constantly do) but you're doing a great job, the fact you're posting shows you care and love your child, at the end of that's the most important thing!