I started a new part-time job last week, a good and interesting job but with a steep learning curve. It's my first job after being a sahm for 8 years.
I am suffering with some health problems and awaiting further tests and investigations, I have three primary aged children that I am currently homeschooling, and a husband who works extremely long hours and is often away for weeks on end. I am anxious, miserable and exhausted.
My employer seems to be extremely understanding and accommodating of my need to work flexibly with the kids at home but I'm just not coping with anything at all well. I want to make a go of the job but just can't seem to get into the correct mindset for it. I have no motivation, lie awake at night fretting about juggling it all and I hate the idea of not doing well / not proving myself. No other family nearby so absolutely no help with childcare.
I feel as though the kids are not getting as much support as they need with their homeschooling. None of them can focus without me being on hand to help and cheer them on, so they end up sitting with tablets/tv for hours in the afternoon whilst I try to get some work done.
We are lucky in that I think we can just about manage on my husband's salary . I can't help thinking that much as I want the job, it's just not the right time for me and I should probably put my mental health first. I feel a bit like I am unravelling at the seams really.
My husband is really supportive and says he'll be right behind me whatever I decide. I guess I just feel like I've been given this brilliant opportunity job-wise (part time jobs where I live are not at all easy to find) and I worry about throwing it away. But the idea of it is making me just so incredibly stressed and anxious.
Guess I am just looking for some advice/reassurance really. Thanks.