Genuine question about WFH and school work

[Agwen]

Does anyone find it possible to get all work done for both themselves and their dc? (3 in my case)

Just to be clear I am not doing the children's work! They each have approx 5 pieces per day, eldest at 16 needs v minimal supervision, 12 yo needs prodding and checking work before submission, 6yo needs much more input/cajoling from me to do anything at all. I am a single parent working 30hrs per week.

I know it's bloody hard but I am wondering whether I'm just being a crap mum and need to put more effort in.

Not looking for validation that the lack of achievement is acceptable, more trying to get a gauge of what's doable.

AIBU= It can be done

YANBU= It is unlikely

It's not achievable. There are two of us working with our 5 year old who has about 6 bits of work. We are splitting our time with her. We have to watch the recorded lesson with her or we cant answer her questions, print everything off, explain the instructions as they are often not very clear, help with spelling and ideas, then photograph and upload it. Then in the other half of the day when my husband takes over I try and do my work. This morning I was working at the same time as helping her, for half a day, and I probably got 45 min of actual work done. I am having to catch up working on my day off and at the weekend and that's when I'm quiet at work so when it inevitably gets busier in a few weeks I will be working all hours. We also dont manage to finish everything from school, maybe 4 out the 5 things a day and often it will say write 10 sentences and we will do 5 etc.

So to summarise with two adults and only one child we still don't manage to either get our work or her work completed

Same as what @FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken said.

It isn't possible imo. We managed in the first lockdown as the work set was less and I could cover it with my dc in a couple of hours and make that time up in the evening. My 9 and 7yos are now set about 5 hours work a day, and they need support with it. It would be a full-time job just to do that.

Nope, it's an uphill battle.

Of course it isn’t possible. You’re not their teacher. You are working. Just stop worrying about it.

Just remember that looking after children whilst working from home wasn't even really allowed a year ago. I'm not stressing myself out.

You are not a crap mum! Personally, I find it impossible to keep up with the work.

My 8yo has 3 Oak Academy plus 1 school lesson a day plus a kahoot quiz, my maths, times tables rockstars, bug club and reading with parents. There are also videos from the teachers, assemblies and 2 Zooms per week. We were only getting one Oak lesson done a day but by missing some tasks or just talking through things instead of writing them down we are sometimes managing 2. Then maybe 1 or 2 of the other things that my DD can do independently or don't take too long. I have a 13yo who needs support too.

Just do your best - that's good enough.

It's not possible, and very stressful. I've two dds, aged 5 and 7. We've abandoned the reception work completely and are very minimal -quality over quantity- with the year 2 work. I'm prioritising their well-being, then second comes the work I do which keeps us fed and housed, third is their schoolwork. Nice for some who have the time and support to keep up with google classroom. We simply don't.

Impossible here.

I can't do the two things - work and do the work with two children. They can't do it independently and need my attention to stay on task.

It's an either or situation.

I also structure the day is 9.30am - 2pm (with breaks) and that works quite well but on Friday I had to work (there was no flex) so we had an 'inset' day. We didn't try to 'catch up' just started fresh on Monday.

I am lucky in that my work is flexible and only 20 hours per week, but I am working in the evening and at weekends.

I am content with most of the work, most of the time, is the best we can do.

@SeeooelllaaaCola that is such a good point. I remember well over a year ago reading a thread on here written by a first time, pregnant mum who thought she might be able to WFH, part time, with her baby in situ six months after he/ she was born. Lots of people piled in to say how unfair it would be on her employer as you can't work effectively with a baby in the house.

It's not really possible to do it to any decent standard.

I'm a single mum and I'm also working FT, running a department (from home). The first lockdown was unmitigated hell, to be honest. My daughter was in a terrible state of mind, she had no support from me and almost none from school and was routinely in tears or having tantrums and I was constantly in trouble due to my output at work. The guilt I felt towards my DD and the resentment I felt towards my employer nearly tipped me over the edge. I wouldn't wish it on my worst enemy.

This time around its marginally better, partly because the school has got its act together a bit and acknowledged that it can't all be palmed off on parents and partly because we've both got into the rhythm of it a bit more and we know what's expected of us.

But the reality is even on a good day I'm lucky if she properly completes one piece of work to any reasonable standard.

It requires me constantly interrupting my work to check up on her and help with work and just to check she's not drifted back onto YouTube etc. If I were to supervise to the degree which is needed I would not be able to do any work at all and frankly I have to prioritise my job over this in order to keep the lights on.

I'm not beating myself up over it any more -- I refuse to flagellate myself for not living up to a standard I can't achieve on either front caused by a situation which is out of my control. The way I approach it is to think that if we both have a day when we get some of our work done, we stick to our daily rhythm and we are happy and I can also get meals prepared on time and a do basic level of household maintenance that's a win.

Impossible to do everything set. I have an 8 year old and 4 year old and they have full timetables. I work 37 hours a week. I'm lucking in as much I can work at any time so I do start work at 5am so I at least get a couple of quiet hours. 8 year old does maths and reading every day, 4 year old phonics everyday - but anything else is a bonus. It's tough and impossible to do everything but we're trying our best. Work comes first - it keeps a roof over our head and keeps us fed.
Oh and if you were a crap mum - you wouldn't be worried about it. You're not a crap mum (and if you are so are the vast majority of us!!)

I have a 13.5 year old and 9 year old and in theory people think that you can leve them to get on with it at this age and do your work but the teenager needs cajoling and coordinating He has an awful alarm that sounds like a box of spanners falling on to the floor again and again but he sleeps through it!! Youngest has a fairly demanding comprehension exercise on the Benin Kingdom and needs to watch a video and provide a step by step description of the wax casting process. She is struggling with this but I am on a WhatsApp group and it sounds like the whole class is struggling to do this without help from parents. It is easy enough for me to help her with as well as fronted adverbials exercise but I do actually have a job I'm supposed to be doing. I have to make up for it at night.

I am feeling the pressure, my ex-husband and his partner are managing to get their own jobs done as well as all the kids work when they are there and have suggested that I just need to up my game. I have moved my hours round at work so that i have freed up some time in the afternoon to help the children but still can't get it all done and am feeling pretty shitty about it!

I'm also a single mum with 3DC, working full-time. DC are Year 8 (no supervision needed), Year 7 (needs prodding and motivating), and Year 4 (needs help and motivating).

I have changed my routine so I am up at 5.30am and start work by 6am when DC are still asleep and I've found this helps. Good luck.

Me and my dp both work out of the home around each other and I am struggling to find a routine that works. Ds’s are 14 and 7, eldest doesn’t need any help but ds7 needs someone to sit with him and get the work done. When dp does the work with him they start at 8:30 and are done by 11:30, when I do the work with him we start at 9 and it takes until 2:30. I can’t decide if ds is messing around for me, if I’m maybe going in to more detail or if it’s something else but I am struggling to get everything done. It’s my day off work today, we finished the set school work at 2:25 just in time for the final zoom of the day. I now have the housework to do, tea to prep, 2 loads of washing/drying and ironing to sort, ds7 to bath and to get myself ready for work tomorrow. I start work at 5am and already my manager has messaged to say they are short staffed tonight so no one will be working my department so everything will be left for me to try and fit into my shift tomorrow... I also have a 1600 uni assignment due by next Thursday to fit in somewhere 😬

Well, if i could do my job and look after / homeschool my kids we would not have shelled out second mortgage’s worth for childcare and would be laughing now.
Instead, it feels like a long neverenving slog here. Nothing gets proper attention and i’m stressed!

Sorry just realised you had asked about people working from home which I’m not, I clearly just needed a little rant

It can't all be done, so there's no point in stressing yourself and your kids trying. We are down to maths and english work only here and that's with external support. Speak to the school if you haven't already. I emailed our school last week about the issues we are having trying to juggle work and home schooling, and they were brilliant. They have put some extra remote contact sessions in place for my eldest who's been struggling, to help him not fall too far behind. He also now has 2 sessions a week with a personal tutor who goes through school work with him that we can't manage. Luckily my youngest is quite a keen learner and doesn't need extra support from the school or tutor yet. Frankly it's hell, don't make it hard on yourself by trying to do everything.

@Finals1234 I am glad that someone is making it work :)

My role at the moment means that I need to be in contact with colleagues for a good part of the day and so can't physically start any earlier- the collaborative nature of what we are doing means that if I started before I do now (7.30) there wouldn't be anyone to do the work with 😂 As it is nobody else starts before 9 so I am eating into that by starting earlier.

Plus my employer is really focused on health and safety and when I broached an early start with my boss, he was supportive as long as it wasn't before 7 because of the change into "shifts" territory.

That's the only way I can see I'd achieve it.

@FFSAllTheGoodOnesArereadyTaken

It's not achievable. There are two of us working with our 5 year old who has about 6 bits of work. We are splitting our time with her. We have to watch the recorded lesson with her or we cant answer her questions, print everything off, explain the instructions as they are often not very clear, help with spelling and ideas, then photograph and upload it. Then in the other half of the day when my husband takes over I try and do my work. This morning I was working at the same time as helping her, for half a day, and I probably got 45 min of actual work done. I am having to catch up working on my day off and at the weekend and that's when I'm quiet at work so when it inevitably gets busier in a few weeks I will be working all hours. We also dont manage to finish everything from school, maybe 4 out the 5 things a day and often it will say write 10 sentences and we will do 5 etc.

So to summarise with two adults and only one child we still don't manage to either get our work or her work completed

This isn’t far off our situation with our eight year old. I catch up at night. DH gets up early and starts before 7 am.

My 14 y/o is attending part time as his is an AP place and the risks of him not going are higher than the risks of him attending

My 11 y/o is happily doing his online lessons with no assistance required

My 6 y/o usually has two things per day on the google classrooms link, one piece of work to do and one activity suggestion. Some days he does the piece of work, some days he doesn't.

I have no interest in any thoughts the school may or may not have about the amount and quality of the work ds3 is doing and if they give us a hard time wrt it post lockdown will struggle to remain polite.

It is a no win situation. I am able to help my daughter for 3 full days but have to work 2 days so she has to just do it when l get home - none of it is live so can be done to suit us. That is loads more than a lot of people but her best friend who goes to a different school is having 5 full days of live lessons and full on teacher interaction so even if with what l am doing, l still don't feel like it is enough.

Home schooling takes me about 3-4 hours per day (time I would normally be working as I'm self employed). Now I'm getting up at 5am just to get some time to work before the kids are up. It's crazy, and I feel like I'm constantly chasing my tail. I'm either behind with the school work (of which we get a lot) or behind with my own work (right now pretty much all of the time). It's not possible and there aren't enough hours in the day to be a teacher and then do your own work/job, look after the house, provide meals etc.