To ask what age gap you would consider a lot older

[Builditupp]

I’ve always said five years either way can make a huge difference at any age.

Yeah, 47 year olds and 52 year olds have a very different outlook on life...

This again?

I would say at least 10 after 30.

I’m in my thirties. Over 50 would be a big gap for me, although I’ve rarely been attracted to anyone more than 3-4 years older.

I’ve never asked it before. Just curious after a conversation with a work friend.

What about younger men/older women?

I really think it depends. 16 and 21 seems so much bigger than 36 and 41.

13 years here. I'm the younger and more mature.

Surely depends on the couple. Mature younger partner with clear sense of direction would do well with older person just finding their way.

Well, my current DH is 15 years my senior and if I believed in soulmates, I’d say he was mine.

First DH was 3 years my senior, and he remains as much of an enigma and an irritation as the day I married him (long story).

And before anyone starts with the ‘you’ll end up his carer’ bollocks, firstly there are no guarantees he won’t end up as mine, and b) I’d rather be a carer in my fifties or sixties than be frail and struggling to help an even frailer spouse, as I watched my parents do.

Sorry if I’m defensive, but I hate how these threads go.

five years?! That's hardly anything

7 years.

5 years is the limit in my opinion.

I responded 7 because we seem to undergo significant changes every 7 years. I wasn't responding in terms of age differences between couples (as the OP didn't ask that question).

I think 7 years age gap between having two children is a lot.
I think, with couples, it depends on what the ages are. Imo, 16 & 22 is too big an age gap, 26 & 32 or 36 & 42 is fine. I would probably class around 12 years as too big an age gap for romantic relationships.

Argh

I'm 16 years older than my other half. No shits are given if other people think that's too big of a gap!

Most of the long term happy couples I know have an age gap of at least 5 years, myself included.

Depends what age you both are; 16 and 21 is completely different to 26 and 31.

I have never dated a man younger than me though, and don't think I ever would.

8 years here, once you are middle aged it's nothing

5 years is nothing unless you're very young?

I don’t think 5 years is much really, unless the younger partner is under 20 I suppose. I was 28 when I had DS with DP, who was 35. I didn’t pay much attention to the age gap then but now I’m 33 and DP turns 40 this year, it does seem quite big

5 years or more until your 20s then 10 years or more I think.

Having said that I was dating men 10 years older than me in my teens, they didn't know that though!

It completely depends on what age people are. 10 years between a 35 and 45 year old is fine, but I would argue that 3 years between 16 and 19 year olds is too much.

The older partner should be within 20% of the younger partner. 20yo with 24yo - fine. 40yo with 50yo - fine.

Five years is nothing, how silly to apply an arbitrary limit like that.

My fiance is four and a half years younger than me, we're both in our thirties and are on the same page about what we want in life. What exactly is wrong with that, and why should I have turned him down if he happened to be another six months younger?

I'm 10 years older than DP. I'm 38, he's 28. Never would have chosen it as an age gap. Would have ruled out anyone his age if online dating, but it works.