To ask what age gap you would consider a lot older

[Builditupp]

I’ve always said five years either way can make a huge difference at any age.

Between partners or between siblings?

Between siblings, 5 years. They are at a very different stage of life all the way through childhood.

Between partners? 8 years seems a pretty big gap.

For gaps between children? Five plus years is a decent gap. Ten plus is a big one.

For partners? Half your age plus seven.

Agree with others, completely depends on the age of the younger person to distinguish if a gap is 'too much' or not. The 'older' the people concerned, the less issues any gap becomes (as long as you accept that at 40, your 70 year old husband is very likely to die well before you). I think a 16 year old dating anyone older than a teen is really not something I feel comfortable with. I'd not think much of, as previously mentioned, a 40 odd year old dating someone 20-30 years older. Maturity, life experience, expectations all become less of an issue the dear you get.

I would wonder if it was truly 'love' between a 25 year old and 85 year old as I genuinely cannot imagine what such a large gap in generations would have in common, sociallynor physically (not saying old people sex is gross, everything is usually less physical at that older age!)

My partner is 8 yrs older. It's a huge difference at the moment. He retired early. I have no plans to retire for another 14 years at least.

DH is 4 years younger than me and I don’t think it even occurs to us. It makes zero difference to our lives.

I would say a third of your life (so a 20yo is much older than a 15yo, a 40yo is much older than a 30yo, and a 60yo is much older than a 45yo).

I think it depends on the individuals involved. It's freaking me out a little that my exh is 60 next month! He's SO old in attitudes, lifestyle, many areas. I'm only 49 with a much younger outlook on life. He was definitely old before his time. However, I'm sure there are younger 60 year olds in the world.

Oh, here we go. Past around twentyone five years is nothing whatever and YABU to suggest it is.

For context - 15 year gap here, celebrating 36 years of marriage this year. And DH at 74 is several times fitter than I am.

Depends on the individuals and is no-one's business but theirs.

Depends.

I was older than my ex (6 years). I didn't know how old he was when we first met and looks wise people thought he was older than me (I look much younger than my age). Obviously each situation is different but over the years his emotional immaturity really did emerge more and it was awful. I could never be with a younger man again. I know that's lumping them all in the same category, but ...ugh... nope.

I'm in another relationship now and DP is only 3 years older than me. It's perfect..we 'get' the same things as we grew up in the same decade and have a lot to relate to with regards to culture/music. I personally would have no interest in being with a much older man either.

My partner and I have an 8 year age gap. We do have differences (I'm older) but we click, he's my soulmate. In theory the gap is wider as I'm an old soul!

I also had a 31 year age gap relationship(I was younger). It broke down but age wasn't the reason. For a long period of time we had a strong relationship.

It's not age but your character that makes a relationship work or not.

11 years here. I was 28 and he was 39 when we met. Married 30 years.

I had a long term relationship and he was 14 years older.
We remain good friends.

it really depends on the individual, we have 14 years between us and its never been a problem, but it might not have worked with someone else the same age... equally i wouldnt want anyone younger than me through personal choice, but obviously that works perfectly for other people!

you cant give any one number....

I believe that people have two ages, their real actual age, and their emotional age.

When I was 19, I met my now Husband who was 25 and we just fit. I was very mature for my age and was more like a 30 year old maturity wise, so was he.

My sister is 24 and she is more like a 17 year old emotionally and when she has had a boyfriends who are even 2 years older than her it doesn't work, there is just a huge disconnect.

Age gaps also tend to lessen in importance the older you get too. Yes a a five year age gap is significant and just plain wrong (not to mention illegal) when it is a 14 year old seeing a 19 year old. But 5 years is absolutely nothing with a 40 year old and 45 year old.