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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s a bit weird sharing this on a what’s app group?

58 replies

WHY2021 · 25/01/2021 22:56

Name changed

Ex sharing a scan video of new pregnancy in a group that other parent of 1st shared child is in.

Purposefully not disclosing which parent is which not to skew replies.

YABU - completely not weird
YANBU - weird, why would anyone do that?

OP posts:
SnackSizeRaisin · 25/01/2021 23:10

If the child set up the group maybe they wanted the video to be shared with wider family?

Bluntness100 · 25/01/2021 23:10

Not weird, only weird for the parent who is sensitive/jealous/uncomfortable about it.

Original poster
WHY2021 · 25/01/2021 23:11

The first half siblings was with OW but not this one Smile

For those who say other parent shouldn’t be in the group, why do you think that when child asked them to be part of it?

OP posts:
Bluntness100 · 25/01/2021 23:12

Also you need to remember op this is their family chat so it’s normal.

The other parent is only on there because the child asked them to. But the parent having the child should be able to use it without having to deal with the ex’s issues.

If you’re not happy leave the group, tell your child you don’t need to be part of it, as their other parent is on there.

Bluntness100 · 25/01/2021 23:13

For those who say other parent shouldn’t be in the group, why do you think that when child asked them to be part of it?

Because it’s his family group, not yours. And his new partner should be on it now. Also because it makes you uncomfortable.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 25/01/2021 23:15

For those who say other parent shouldn’t be in the group, why do you think that when child asked them to be part of it?

I would have said to the child that its their dads family group and that I'll set up a group with my family, or just the child, mum and dad.

Just because the kid asks, it doesn't mean you have to say yes.

Original poster
WHY2021 · 25/01/2021 23:16

It was a group created by the child though, I feel like ex is taking that over by using it to communicate with their family and the other parent of the child.

Yes use your family chat to do that but not your child’s chat with people your child wants to talk to.

OP posts:
Whitecup4 · 25/01/2021 23:24

But why does it matter? If you don’t like it just leave the group.

DifficultPifcultLemonDifficult · 25/01/2021 23:26

I'm guessing the child will want to talk about their new sibling with their family though.

DrFoxtrot · 25/01/2021 23:26

Not weird considering the group is mainly ex's side

Ragwort · 25/01/2021 23:27

Why on earth do people post scan photos? Is anyone really interested? Hmm. Just re-read it, a scan video ??

glassacorn · 25/01/2021 23:30

@WHY2021

The group is of about 7 people, all ex’s side apart from other parent the 1st child set it up and asked the other parent to join it based on it being the child’s group to talk to their family.
In that case, not weird. Sounds like there's some nice co-parenting going on (still part of family group) and that it's been posted in the same spirit. 🤷🏼‍♀️
whenthestarsgoblue · 25/01/2021 23:32

Not weird. I think you sound a bit bitter, which is understandable if there's still feelings there. It's a family group, they can share what they like, if you're struggling with it i would just leave

Bluntness100 · 25/01/2021 23:33

@Ragwort

Why on earth do people post scan photos? Is anyone really interested? Hmm. Just re-read it, a scan video ??
Generally their family is interested yes.

I guess you’re still struggling with what happened between you both op.

It’s obvs been over for a long time. If this group is making it worse for you it’s better to just leave thr group.

Nopreservatives · 25/01/2021 23:34

I think people who care for the expectant parents and will care for the baby are interested in scan pictures. It's a way of sharing the excitement more than actually seeing anything in the picture.

Original poster
WHY2021 · 25/01/2021 23:36

I’m not struggling with it, I wish them all happiness, I just find it weird that was done, I think a scan is a very personal thing and I would want that shared with my partner’s ex.

OP posts:
rubybarley · 25/01/2021 23:39

not weird at all. you sound jealous, despite what you claim

OwlBeThere · 25/01/2021 23:40

I don’t think it’s at all weird, why would it be? The only way I think it would be weird is if the new baby’s parents cheated on the 1st child’s parent to create the new baby.

whenthestarsgoblue · 25/01/2021 23:40

@WHY2021

I’m not struggling with it, I wish them all happiness, I just find it weird that was done, I think a scan is a very personal thing and I would want that shared with my partner’s ex.
They all look the same pretty much. Showing a scan pic is no different to saying "I'm pregnant" IMO. It's not really that personal, especially in a family WhatsApp group - surely that's where you share personal things or what's the point of the group?
OwlBeThere · 25/01/2021 23:42

If my ex was having a baby and showed me the scan I’d be interested because that’s my children’s sibling.

Original poster
WHY2021 · 25/01/2021 23:43

@rubybarley definitely not jealous, if anything I feel sorry for his girlfriend, I really hope he’s changed.

OP posts:
LucyLockdown · 26/01/2021 00:32

I'm sorry it's upset you but I don't think he did anything wrong.

Onjnmoeiejducwoapy · 26/01/2021 00:41

Don’t see anything wrong with this, sounds like an attempt at mature co-parenting.

NoProblem123 · 26/01/2021 00:48

Who cares. Scans and videos are boring.
Get yourself a tequila and join some more interesting groups.

Bluntness100 · 26/01/2021 05:31

But he wasn’t specifically sharing with uou op. He was sharing with his family group and child, which you happen to be on, it really wasn’t about you or Aimed at you.