Would you be annoyed about this?

[LemonanLime]

Ever since DC was born, DP and I have never put pictures of her on social media, nor put any information about her on social media.

Today I noticed that my cousin put a photo of DC on a social media platform without consulting me first. I've written to her to ask her to take the photo down, and I explained that we don't put photos of DC online.

AIBU to think that's it's ridiculous that people feel it's acceptable to put photos of someone else's children on the internet without mentioning to the parents first?

Yanbu, she should have asked first. Did she take it down?

What's the context? Are they the only child in the pic complete with name or just in a general group shot?

If it's the former I would be having a word, if they were unidentifiable and not named/tagged I would be less bothered.

Well I hope you called the police to let them know

People have different views on social media images of children and some wouldn’t even think twice. It doesn’t offend me when people do it without asking, it’s their response to being asked to take it down that’s important.

She hasn't seen my message yet, but I'm really hoping she will as I'm very uncomfortable with photos of my child being on social media.

@Sparklingbrook

What's the context? Are they the only child in the pic complete with name or just in a general group shot?

If it's the former I would be having a word, if they were unidentifiable and not named/tagged I would be less bothered.

DC is the only child in the photo, and it says "XXXs first Christmas" on the sleepsuit she's wearing, and she has a card on her belly that says she turned 5 months old on a certain date, therefore it's not hard to work out DOB :(

@User7312019

Well I hope you called the police to let them know

People have different views on social media images of children and some wouldn’t even think twice. It doesn’t offend me when people do it without asking, it’s their response to being asked to take it down that’s important.

Naaa didn't ring the police, would have been a bit OTT obviously 🙄

Personally, I don't have an issue with pictures of this sort but I do think increasingly it's becoming accepted that before posting photos of other people's children, you check what their social media policy is so YANBU for asking her to take it down.

People who post pics of children on social media don’t understand when you don’t want pics of them on there. If she didn’t know and you’ve now told her and she’s taken it down, fine. If she did it again knowing you’re not happy with it, then I’d be angry.

Do your family know your views on SM? I find you have to explitily say you don't anything on there, otherwise default is you are ok with it

YABU to find it ridiculous that someone else thinks differently to you

"Hello. Would you mind removing the picture of X on Facebook? we aren't comfortable with pictures being online" is a really simple way to solve it

Yet here you are, on MN, moaning

@mouldyhouse101

YABU to find it ridiculous that someone else thinks differently to you

"Hello. Would you mind removing the picture of X on Facebook? we aren't comfortable with pictures being online" is a really simple way to solve it

Yet here you are, on MN, moaning

If you read my previous comments before commenting, you would see that I did ask her to take it down lol I was simply asking if other people thought along the same lines as me, isn't that what's the AIBU threads are for?

@Lazypuppy

Do your family know your views on SM? I find you have to explitily say you don't anything on there, otherwise default is you are ok with it

Yes, they are well aware of my views

YANBU, I’d be furious. Some people have a problem understanding why you don’t want photos/info of your dc’s posting online for every Tom, Dick and Harry to scrutinise. Absolutely wrong to not ask you first and I would be telling her why in a very firm manner.

Some people don’t want an online presence (me included!) and other people should respect that.

@mouldyhouse101

YABU to find it ridiculous that someone else thinks differently to you

"Hello. Would you mind removing the picture of X on Facebook? we aren't comfortable with pictures being online" is a really simple way to solve it

Yet here you are, on MN, moaning

Errrr MN is here for opinions, if you don't like it bore off

OP, YANBU to want the pic taken down. Maybe your family member isn't aware of your preferences with social media? If so, maybe a conversation so she knows your stance? If she does know how you feel but posted the pic anyway, you've every right to be furious!

In that case OP I'd definitely tell her to remove it YANBU at all and tell her your views.

Any idea why your cousin did it?

@Robbybobtail

YANBU, I’d be furious. Some people have a problem understanding why you don’t want photos/info of your dc’s posting online for every Tom, Dick and Harry to scrutinise. Absolutely wrong to not ask you first and I would be telling her why in a very firm manner.

Some people don’t want an online presence (me included!) and other people should respect that.

Exactly!! The way I look at it is that DC is too young to be able to give consent to her image and information being plastered all over the Internet, which is why I protect her from this.

When she's old enough to decide for herself, then she can do as she pleases! Until then, it's my job to protect her. The internet is a very dangerous place.

Sorry I've just seen your comment that your family are aware. In that case I'd be LIVID, that's such a breach of trust especially given the card which could allude to her DOB. I'd be on the phone immediately and tell her to remove the post. Why is she posting a picture like that anyway of a baby that's not hers?!

YABU to find it ridiculous that someone else thinks differently to you

You are being ridiculous to think it’s ok for someone to post photos of a child who isn’t theirs online for the world and his dog to see. If someone has a different opinion to me and it doesn’t affect me - ok. If someone has a different opinion to me and forces me to partake in their way of thinking by posting personal photos and not asking permission - not ok.

Thank you, this is exactly what I thought. I'm not angry with my cousin, I'm not annoyed at the fact that I wasn't consulted first lol I'll get over it though! 😊

Yanbu, your child your rules. Especially as you don't put pictures yourself! Why do people think this is ok?

@Sparklingbrook

In that case OP I'd definitely tell her to remove it YANBU at all and tell her your views.

Any idea why your cousin did it?

She was being sweet and mentioned in the caption how beautiful DC is, and how she can't wait to meet her (after covid). I wrote to her saying her lovely her caption was, and that I can't wait for her to meet DC either, but could she take the photo down.

Some people don't realise that others are consciously avoiding putting pictures on social media. If you've asked her to take it down and she has then there is no problem

YANBU, myself and DH are not on social media and we don't allow relatives to post pictures of our children on their social media. It's unnecessary and an invasion of privacy.

@BabyBee93

Sorry I've just seen your comment that your family are aware. In that case I'd be LIVID, that's such a breach of trust especially given the card which could allude to her DOB. I'd be on the phone immediately and tell her to remove the post. Why is she posting a picture like that anyway of a baby that's not hers?!

I don't know :( before I had DC I NEVER put a photo of a child that wasn't mine on social media without the parents consent, even nieces and nephews whose parents plastered their photos on their own social media. Might sound silly, but for all I know they could be very strict about who can actually see the photos, and me putting their photos on my page means all of my friends can see them, without their parents permission. If that makes sense? Lol

Yanbu, is never put a pic of someone else's child on sm without asking- even if they do it, And I put mine all over mine. I'd also be unimpressed to see my dc on someone else's account.