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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School wants my kids in

30 replies

Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 08:25

So brief background my twins are in year 10 they’re on the autistic spectrum and have other special needs the school really wants them to attend, part of me does want them to go because they are falling behind I’m helping as much as I can but I do have a 9 year old and a 18month old so it’s hard and I know they won’t have long to catch up before they leave next year, but then the other part of me feels bad, I suffer with anxiety and health anxiety so it’s pretty heightened at the thought of them going to school. WWYD?

OP posts:
Minky37 · 25/01/2021 08:29

I would send them as they are in a GCSE year. ask the school what they are doing to minimise the risk of spreading covid for those children who are in and see what you think?

SarahBellam · 25/01/2021 08:29

Send them to school. There won’t be many children there and it will be clean and well sanitised and ventilated. Your children will be happier having the routine and seeing some friends, and they will get the education they need, while you can concentrate on your 9yr old and 18 month old. Year 10 is an important year GCSE wise so they will really benefit from the extra support.

Atalune · 25/01/2021 08:31

Send them in without a doubt.

jendifer · 25/01/2021 08:33

I work in a school. Ask what the set up is- how many students in a room, contact with others etc. See whether it’s possible for them to attend for a few days to catch up with work if that’s better for you. Are there part of the SEND team in school currently who can support them?

Speak to the people supporting you with your anxiety (counsellor etc). What is you catastrophising and what is a genuine issue. Are you familiar with the drama triangle as that can be helpful when managing anxiety.

ineedaholidaynow · 25/01/2021 08:34

Are there many children in school? Do they move around the school or just stay in one classroom? How will they get to school?

Godimabitch · 25/01/2021 08:35

Sounds like they definitely need to be in school.

ineedaholidaynow · 25/01/2021 08:36

I think the average number of students currently attending Secondary school is 4%, so if your school is close to that average social distancing etc should be able to be maintained

WunWun · 25/01/2021 08:36

I would send them in without a second thought.

Original poster
Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 08:37

Thank you I know your right and I don’t want them to fail and I think they will with all the school they’re missing. School said there are only 2-3 pupils per class so it is minimal.

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 08:38

I am doing CBT at the moment so it’s just trying to beat what my brain tells me which is hard.

OP posts:
Original poster
Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 08:39

They will move around, I will take them and pick them up.

OP posts:
ineedaholidaynow · 25/01/2021 08:43

Are masks required in the school?

Original poster
Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 08:44

Masks are only worn when moving around the school not in class

OP posts:
tenlittlecygnets · 25/01/2021 08:45

You know they're falling behind, they're in a GCSE year - I'd send them.

Angel2702 · 25/01/2021 08:45

I’m in same position they want my year 10 in. Problem being the school is in the middle of a hotspot with very high numbers of cases, far higher than surrounding areas. Year 7 keyworkers have already had their bubble burst.

I would check what the provision is. Ours the teachers are all working from home so he’s be sat in the library doing the online lessons the same as at home supervised by a support member of staff , no extra support at all so still not fulfilling his EHCP.

He needs to be in school to have any hope of passing GCSE but what they are offering isn’t school so won’t benefit him.

Lampzade · 25/01/2021 08:45

Send them in.

EnglishRose1320 · 25/01/2021 08:48

My ds is in year10 and is autistic, he is back in school and it is doing him the world of good. He says they maximum they have in a lesson is 5, that school is well ventilated and that everyone wears masks in the corridors. They have all breaks and lunch outside.
If he was at home he wouldn't manage to access as much of the learning and he would struggle with being isolated even more than he usually is.

Original poster
Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 08:51

@Angel2702 oh that seems pointless, the boys school most teachers are in so are the learning support team

OP posts:
crystalHear · 25/01/2021 08:53

If you don’t want to then don’t you don’t have to.
If you’re concerned about covid as they are older terms that’s understandable
You have to make a choice based on what you think is best only you know how they are doing being off and if they’d be happier/more settled if in

Arobase · 25/01/2021 09:07

If there are only 3-4 children per class it sounds perfect for distancing etc. If I were you I'd send the children in like a shot. You need to think about their mental health.

Angel2702 · 25/01/2021 09:17

[quote Proudmumm]@Angel2702 oh that seems pointless, the boys school most teachers are in so are the learning support team[/quote]
I sent him in from June last time once cases went down but the teachers are TAs were in then. If cases go down enough I will send him on for his mocks as I think he needs to be in a proper exam environment for them.

emilyfrost · 25/01/2021 09:32

They are failing. You need to send them in and put their education above your anxiety.

Piffle11 · 25/01/2021 10:06

Send them. It will do them and you the world of good.

Picklypickles · 25/01/2021 10:18

Send them in! I got a call from my childrens primary school last week inviting them back, I guess their teachers weren't too impressed with the school work we'd been sending in, both of them are on waiting lists to be assessed for possible autism/adhd and home-schooling was a nightmare, sitting over them for hours on end constantly prompting to do something, anything! My son literally ran into school on his first day back, they are both much happier back in their normal(ish) routine and I can actually get stuff done now!

Original poster
Proudmumm · 25/01/2021 10:35

Thank you everyone I know your right just think I needed to hear it x

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