Friend blocked me on fB. WWYD

[Palatka]

To start with we're in our 50s, so not kids.

We're both Brits living overseas and were introduced by a mutual friend.

Friend and i hit it off and became good friends even though the mutual friend drifted away. Neither of us have many proper friends here so we used to enjoy getting together whenever we could.

She has a very different attitude to where we live - she always sees problems whereas i have a very positive experience. She can be quite aggressive in some ways. If someone is late paying her DH for work he has done she'll intervene and give them shit without giving him a chance to sort it out first. she always seems to have some crap on her plate.

She's had a few health issues plus some big inheritance issues with her siblings back in her home country. She's talked to me at length about her inheritance problems and I've been as supportive as i can, even though there's not much i can really do.

In november she had to have some follow up tests done and i wished her well and told her to let me know how she got on. I didn't hear back from her so i sent a message asking if she was ok. No reply so i tried calling and left a voicemail.
Not long after she sent me a message saying not to take it personally but she'd had enough of everything so she was stepping away from social media and people for a while. She ended her message with "take care" and i replied "you too x"
Shortly before Christmas i sent her a message just saying i hoped she was doing ok. Although I'd seen her online on FB, and also sharing a post, that message always says it was unread. A few days ago I tried to send her a message but it wouldn't send and i couldn't find her on FB.
i asked another mutual friend if she could see her profile and she could, so i was very obviously blocked.

I'm pretty shocked and really quite upset as she has blocked me right out of the blue - i hadn't tried to contact her for a month.
This is a friend who would offer to go to a medical appointment with me, or who said she was coming to support me (she lives and hour away) when we thought we might lose our house to a natural disaster.

I really don't know why just me, and why now. The other friend had tried to contact her a week or so ago and she just replied that she had a lot on her plate. Mutual friend's subsequent messages have gone unread.
I miss her.

I've toyed with the idea of sending her a letter saying i know she's blocked me but if she ever wants to get back in touch then my door is always open but I'll leave it to her to decide and that I won't bother her again though.
Then I think "fuck her". If she can block me so easily we didn't have the friendship I thought we did and try and forget about her.

So wwyd?

[Palatka]

@Crotchburn I think no. 2 could be a real possibility

[LudoTrouble]

Sometimes people block others because they can't handle seeing what the person posts on Facebook. Maybe she didn't like your posts for some reason. They may make her feel insecure or jealous or trigger rage for some reason you're not aware of.

I routinely 'unfollow' people who make me feel this way for my own sanity. This woman may not know that you can discreetly unfollow without having to block someone.

[Latetodate]

You were pretty unpleasant about her in your post so it's likely she's aware that you don't think much of her and has decided to step away.

Obviously it's come as an unpleasant shock and in an ideal world we would talk these things through but mostly what happens is people edge away from each other.

[LudoTrouble]

To answer the question, I would leave it and not contact her again. Just move on.

[Gobbycop]

Leave it.

[khg1]

Personally I'd have taken her message as more stepping away from social media than all friends. I think a casual follow up text after a month shows you're a caring friend and is exactly what I'd do in your situation.

A friend of mine has ignored my last two texts, though not unfriended me on FB. I haven't seen her since before the first lockdown so it can't be anything I've done wrong! I've come to the conclusion that I need to let it go, stop worrying and realise that some friendships aren't worth the effort.

It sounds as if it's her loss though I suspect you'll find she has something serious going on in her life that will become clear at some point.

[SpiderinaWingMirror]

Nowt.
I have only been blocked by one person. I only have close friends and family and only post positive stuff.
She blocked me, I found out months later from someone else that she had put 2 And 2 together and made 5.
Just ignore it. Sounds like some one you can live without!

[khg1]

To add, I also had to unfriend/unfollow a couple of close friends and family members on FB a couple of years ago. I got to the point where I couldn't face reading their vitriol over Brexit which morphed into personal attacks on some friends.

It was starting to upset me and affect how I felt about our friendship. Thankfully we're back in a good place now but I think social media can become quite draining if you're going through a difficult point in life. Perhaps she just needs to focus on herself for a bit.

[changingmine]

I think covid has changed a lot more than our freedoms. It has brought out the best and the worst in people and as part of that we are seeing who we want in our lives and who perhaps we need distance from. At least, that's what it's done for me. Maybe it's that way for your friend.

[thecatfromjapan]

Don't write a letter.

She really does want to back away from people right now.

She blocked you because you contacted her through FB - if you contact her by letter, that really is ignoring what she's said.

She clearly just finds people too much right now.

I know you think you can help - you may even be right in that - but right now, she clearly finds people (even the well-meaning ones) something like someone squeezing a bruise.

Leave her alone and see if she comes back.

[lazyarse123]

I'd leave her alone. I work with someone who can be very hot and cold and I just follow her lead if she speaks then I do, if she's being arsey I don't bother.
We were all going on a night out and I couldn't go. We were fb friends doing quizzes together and I noticed she wasn't on my list of players and when I looked she was no longer my friend. Big deal. My other work friends couldn't believe she unfriended me because I couldn't go out.
Now I only say hello if she says it first. Some people can be very selfish. I can be petty.

[Hailtomyteeth]

Do nothing. Leave it.

[FabulouslyFab]

Let it go - it’s Facebook 🤷‍♀️
I’ve unfriended people that I work with simply because I enjoy posting in Fb and they never post anything so it just seems like they are on it out of nosiness.
I really don’t think you should write to her.

[AlternativePerspective]

I think unfriending/unfollowing people is one thing, I clear of MyFitnessPal my friends list frequently and I have recently unfollowed someone who posts nothing but misery memoirs and it gets a bit much but I know if I unfriended her she would be back on fb the next day posting about how upset she was that people unfriended her so I just unfollowed.

But blocking is on a whole different level and unless someone has been grossly offensive is pathetic.

I never get this idea of blocking people. people say it on here all the time “block and move on.” Why? Why not just stop replying to their texts or not engaging with them, unless you’re being stalked by someone obviously....

I would just move on, sounds as if you’re well rid.

[AlternativePerspective]

*my friends list...

Christ knows where that came from....

[user1514310137]

I really dont understand this whole block thing and why some people get singled out.
A friend of mine unfriended my but still has my adult kids on there. They have never interacted with her!! Fucking weirdo

[thosetalesofunexpected]

@Palatka

I think your friend has done your a favour by being the way she is Now !
Your friend Comes across as headwork,overbearing,Control freak,and One who revels in Dramas of kinds !

You need to stop trying to keep the door of this friendship Open,as its a out of balance friendship !

You are a good friend to her,
But its a one way street friendship !

She is definitely Not a good friend to you !

Please focus on Creating better friendships from now on !
Be with people who are better emotionally for you !

Also find ways to improve your self Cofindence on active basis often too

[TheNoodlesIncident]

She's asked for space, so I would step back completely and let her be. Don't send her letters or anything like that, just leave it alone. Focus on your other friendships and let this one settle where it may.

It's hard but you really don't know what she's dealing with and how she is inside her head, so the only thing you can do is respect her request for space. If you do there's a better chance of her coming back when she's ready/able to. You can make your decisions about continuing the friendship or not for yourself when that happens.

[CupoTeap]

Op it's really tough when this happens. I agree it's due to stuff going on.

I would consider how you would react/feel if she were to come back into contact be it a month or two or much longer.

[pictish]

I think you’ve got an ‘out’ and you should take it. I would.

You are a good, loyal and compassionate friend to her. She has treated you badly.

I can understand that a person just needs time out and no contact or social media for a bit. I can become quite overwhelmed by anxiety and an ability to deal with maintaining friendships and other obligations myself.
If I discovered that my friend had singled me out for blocking with no tangible reason however, we would no longer have a friendship. I would read the room and not contact that person again. Firstly, they do not want my friendship. Secondly, they have treated me like crap. There’s no incentive there to make any more effort for them. I’m not desperate for friends. I don’t need to rummage in the bin for scraps.

It’s a shame but sometimes you just have to move on.

[Cairnterrorist]

Yeah I think she was telling you to take a hint and you didn’t.

She hasn’t ghosted you. She told you she didn’t want contact and you did it anyway.

She doesn’t owe you an explanation.

I block people and remove people off my Facebook regularly. For my own reasons I don’t need to explain to anyone.

[ScrapThatThen]

She's trying not to go off the deep end with everyone by stepping back instead.

[CaptainMyCaptain]

@PanamaPattie

Absolutely nothing.

This. Move on.

[Sheleg]

She sounds like a racist drama queen. You're well rid!

[Ilovenewyear]

I would also leave it.
Getting blocked on Facebook is like a slap in the face for most people because it’s usually unexpected and signals the end of the relationship.
It does hurt. The last thing I would be doing now is the pick me dance. Leave it. She’s made her feelings loud and clear.