Against lockdown rules...?

[screamingchild]

Please tell me I'm not going mad... MIL has invited us round to sit in their garden for birthday cake next Saturday. They live 25 minutes away. They will be 4 adults and two children (one household) and we are two adults and two children. AIBU to say that we can't? Now my husband and PIL think I'm over reacting. This is against the law, isn't it? I'm questioning this because they are making me think it is ok. Is anyone doing this sort of thing? I've said that we aren't special and need to stay home because of lock down.

No, you can’t do that. Can you buy your own cake and FaceTime them to celebrate / eat at the same time? Also, weather won’t be sitting in the garden friendly!

I'd do it, depending on your MILs age. Leave your husband to not miss his Mother's birthday, if you don't want to go. Having said that we are planning a similar meet up for Mother's day and we will all have tests that morning.

You can only go for a walk one on one. That's it for contact outside the household.

Against lockdown rules. Not an essential journey. No mixing households inside or out. You are doing the right thing by saying no.

Thank you. They have made me feel so stressed by asking.

Also then it would feel unfair to see them when I haven't seen my own parents for so long.

Honestly, they’ll be freezing / wet in the garden. Are they likely to then want to go indoors? Lockdown should hopefully be lessened in the coming months. Meet up then instead.

It’s Against the law now. It’s not guidance. The poster who said they’re doing it on Mother’s Day is bloody selfish

Who the hell is sitting in their rain sodden, freezing gardens in January? Nobody.
One of my colleagues ‘pretended’ that’s what she was doing in December to meet up with her (numerous) bubble of the week.
6 weeks later they’ve been ravaged by Covid and her MIL (also part of the group saying they were meeting outside but of course they were inside in the warm/dry) - is being buried on 4 Feb.

You are quite right OP don’t but buy a cake and join in by ZOOM its too cold to stay outside sitting for too long, too far to travel and not in the guidance to even meet up outside or socially distantly.

DH hasn’t seen his mum for a year and we have done all the birthdays by sending cards, presents and singing happy birthday by Zoom.

Unless one of the children is a baby under 1 and you're in a support bubble due to that, then you're right - it's against the law to do this.

Against the law (and selfish) and unfortunately the more people carry on mixing the longer this will last. I for one just want to get it over and reduced rates/deaths as soon as possible.

I know how you feel OP about how your family are making you out to be overreacting.

My parents are forever inviting me over to their house and I'm forever saying no. My siblings are visiting them every week (going into each other's houses, having tea together etc) and I'm constantly having to justify myself because I refuse to join in.
Why don't people realise there's an actual fucking lockdown on?

The sooner we start to work together, the sooner we will be out of this.

...and breathe... thank you again. This is what I needed to hear x

No. It is against the rules. You cannot mix either indoors or in a private garden with anyone outside your household unless you are allowed to form a support bubble with them.

@Ponoka7

I'd do it, depending on your MILs age. Leave your husband to not miss his Mother's birthday, if you don't want to go.
The OP isn't asking what you would do. She is asking whether she is being unreasonable to say she can't go and asking for confirmation that it is illegal. Clearly she does not want to do things that are against the rules.

If everyone just ignored the laws and rules just because it's their Mil's birthday, we'd end up in permanent lockdown because the newist mutation is far more transmissable.

How are you testing that morning? £100 plus on a private test or making use of NHS resources fraudulenly? @ponoka7

YANBU,OP, but... give it 10 mins and you'll hear from the MN brigade who will try and make you feel guilty for not breaking the rules for family... mainly because they've not actually known anyone get incubated or die...so it prob won't affect them..

That's £100 plus each

Oops, I see already one has posted 🤪

God this is all so depressing. No wonder it’s going on so long with people behaving like this right, left and centre.

Honestly in the first lockdown we’ve done birthdays in the garden. But it’s a 2 minute walk, was in nice weather and the kids were old enough to understand they sit on the very distanced chairs set out and don’t go near grandma.

25 minutes, in the freezing cold and if you have 2 sets of kids who may not follow the rules is a big no.

I’m more on the common sense than illogical law side.

And before anyone goes at me, the law said we could go have Christmas dinner with my mum. But we didn’t, because logic not stupid inevitably spreading law!!

You are right.
I am not doing anything to break the rules. But come March if things are as they are now, I will be making garden / outdoor visits to family.

I want to scream. After another weekend looking after critically ill covid patients, many younger than myself and I’m mid 30’s, it is so depressing to see attitudes like @Ponoka7’s.

There is a national lockdown for a reason. This is far worse than the first wave and honestly I want to cry given what I have seen today. We are being pushed to our limits and there is no end in sight.

I was wondering the same ‘@The3Ls

How are you testing that morning? £100 plus on a private test or making use of NHS resources fraudulenly? @ponoka7’

The temperature alone would put me off, it’s bloody freezing at the moment.

But yes, this would be against the law, unless you have a child under 1 and have formed a support bubble with the other household. And if that’s the case, you don’t have to sit in the garden, you can sit in the house.