Against lockdown rules...?

[screamingchild]

Please tell me I'm not going mad... MIL has invited us round to sit in their garden for birthday cake next Saturday. They live 25 minutes away. They will be 4 adults and two children (one household) and we are two adults and two children. AIBU to say that we can't? Now my husband and PIL think I'm over reacting. This is against the law, isn't it? I'm questioning this because they are making me think it is ok. Is anyone doing this sort of thing? I've said that we aren't special and need to stay home because of lock down.

How old is your MIL? When is she likely to be vaccinated?

I would love to see my parents but my DF is over 65 and has some health conditions which may make him more vulnerable. So we're not seeing them until they've been vaccinated, even if the lockdown rules ease before that.

There is light at the end of the tunnel now. Why knowingly put older family members' lives at risk?

@pinkstripeycat

It’s Against the law now. It’s not guidance. The poster who said they’re doing it on Mother’s Day is bloody selfish

This.

@Ponoka7

I'd do it, depending on your MILs age. Leave your husband to not miss his Mother's birthday, if you don't want to go. Having said that we are planning a similar meet up for Mother's day and we will all have tests that morning

On behalf of everyone who is following the rules thank you for ensuring lockdown will continue for a long time to come because of selfish muppets like you

@screamingchild

You are not going mad. You are not over reacting. Government guidance is very clear that this is against the law. If they get caught they face a fine of £200 (each).

www.gov.uk/guidance/national-lockdown-stay-at-home#when-you-can-leave-home

Meeting other people
It is against the law to meet socially with family or friends unless they are part of your household or support bubble. You cannot leave home for recreational or leisure purposes (such as for a picnic or a social meeting).

Selfish twats like your PILS are the reason we're on our THIRD lockdown and Covid cases and deaths are sky high.

As others have said, the law is very clear. This would be illegal.

The Health Protection (Coronavirus, Restrictions) (All Tiers) (England) Regulations 2020, Schedule 3A, Part 1, Restrictions on movement

www.legislation.gov.uk/uksi/2020/1374

Selfish twats like your PILS are the reason we're on our THIRD lockdown and Covid cases and deaths are sky high.

Yes because COVID only spreads when people break the law

Agree that OP.shouldnt go though

If only I had a £ for every.time I'd heard the word "selfish" thrown around since last March

This the problem.. one family thinks they are special because its a birthday or whatever... someone else gets wind and thinks... well they did it and got away with it so I will as well... and thus the problem spirals.

@BonnieDundee

Selfish twats like your PILS are the reason we're on our THIRD lockdown and Covid cases and deaths are sky high.

Yes because COVID only spreads when people break the law

Agree that OP.shouldnt go though

If only I had a £ for every.time I'd heard the word "selfish" thrown around since last March

The fine for using the word "selfish" should be as high as the fine for breaking the rules. Especially when the people bandying it around will have broken a rule sometime in the last 10 months.

However, having a big party in a garden is very clearly against the law and there are no loopholes (yes there are support bubbles but then you'd be inside). Even doing it outside in a park would be illegal.

@BonnieDundee

Selfish twats like your PILS are the reason we're on our THIRD lockdown and Covid cases and deaths are sky high.

Yes because COVID only spreads when people break the law

Agree that OP.shouldnt go though

If only I had a £ for every.time I'd heard the word "selfish" thrown around since last March

Covid would spread less if people only did things that were within the law. And doing something unnecessary because you want to, even though it's illegal is a fairly good description of "selfish" I would have thought?

So depressing

People are just thick!

@Bayleaf25

Against the law (and selfish) and unfortunately the more people carry on mixing the longer this will last. I for one just want to get it over and reduced rates/deaths as soon as possible.

This 100%.

Don’t go OP.

Think you spelt your username wrong @Ponoka7
It’s spelt PLONKER7

@Randomrebel

I was wondering the same ‘*@The3Ls*

How are you testing that morning? £100 plus on a private test or making use of NHS resources fraudulenly? @ponoka7’

It’s still illegal to meet up but many areas have walk in tests for people with no symptoms. We have two within walking distance of us and we are being encouraged to test regularly, think it’s twice a week for carers and twice a month for everyone else.

Against the law but many still are bending the rules

All should be fined £5k and a criminal record

If he had to see her

Your dp could meet his mum for a sd walk between your two places so 10/12min drive for both and wish her happy birthday

But

We are in lockdown

Last March my toddler had her birthday in lockdown end of month, party etc cancelled. Spent in with myself and her dad

She will prob have the same again this year :(

That sucks 2 birthdays in lockdown

Our wedding was cancelled last March. We booked this may thinking almost 15mths later things be back to normal

They should be

But people don’t stick to rules

So hence things aren’t getting better

Having said that we are planning a similar meet up for Mother's day and we will all have tests that morning.

How, precisely? You're going to request tests when you've got no symptoms? Or pay for them? Or is it a test to see if you're entitled and selfish and believe the law doesn't apply to you?

They will be 4 adults, 2 children in one household

If your MIL has 3 other adults and 2 (grandchildren?) living in her household then she's not going to be lonely on her birthday or unable to celebrate with her household. And they can eat the cake indoors.

Your dh could meet her outside/ for a walk another day.

It's actually the child who is turning 1. I've said to them that we're not a special case so we can't go. It's because they think we are low risk as we've already had covid and are just working/schooling at home so not seeing anyone. This may be true but isn't the point. I think my husband is still going to go but that's up to him. He knows my view (and anxiety) and I can't control someone else's behaviour. I won't let our kids go with him though as the older child at MIL home goes to nursery and my kids are about to take up a key worker place so there is a route there for transmission across settings should they possibly have the virus and not know.

He knows my view (and anxiety)

Your view is rational and responsible so please don't think you're being overly anxious or let your pils convince you you're over reacting. They sound very ignorant.
You're just being socially responsible and they should respect that.

Perhaps suggest a compromise of a Skype call , drop a present off or promise meeting up when restrictions are lifted to keep the peace?

Very frustrating for you to be labelled "anxious" over this. You sound like the sane one!

If you don't want to go then don't but if you want to go then you should, the rule is silly and shouldn't rule your life

Enough said from this fool -

Ponoka7

@Maisieme, how do you know that you will be in a dangerous situation if you catch it? We have people in their 80's, cancer patients etc doing ok. I'm shielding and have had it. It was like a mild chest infection. My Sister has had it, she's 65 and shielding, it was nothing to her. My vulnerable BAME friend didn't know she had it. I live by two care homes, one has been all over the News. Half of the vulnerable residents didn't even need hospital treatment. Half died, but they were going to die of something this year. It still only kills, or makes you seriously ill, in small percentages, even if you are extremely vulnerable.

Actual boomer with the attitude to match. People like you disgust me.

Very bad idea. I’d be with you in staying home.
If someone like me can spend 11 months almost entirely alone, I think your MIL can survive not having all of the family around. In our family, we’ve missed two milestone birthdays, a golden wedding, a baby, all of the other birthdays/occasions.
I’m now working outside the home two days a week, so won’t even see my parents (in their 70s) until we’re all vaccinated. My sister drops groceries off for them every week, at the door. I can’t risk being the infection vector to them. My siblings are the same (jobs/childcare risks).
We’re a regular family, and people like us have to make sacrifices, in order to keep the more vulnerable safe.

@screamingchild

Please tell me I'm not going mad... MIL has invited us round to sit in their garden for birthday cake next Saturday. They live 25 minutes away. They will be 4 adults and two children (one household) and we are two adults and two children. AIBU to say that we can't? Now my husband and PIL think I'm over reacting. This is against the law, isn't it? I'm questioning this because they are making me think it is ok. Is anyone doing this sort of thing? I've said that we aren't special and need to stay home because of lock down.

Nope, you're not going mad, that's not allowed.

I'm allowed to have MIL in the house and is all we're seeing.
As is bubble.

Can't even meet my mum outside as is still with my Dad.
Go bollocks to a get together in the garden ,lol

@screamingchild

He knows my view (and anxiety)

Please don't think that following the law and doing the right thing - as the vast majority of the population are doing - is a symptom of anxiety. It's a perfectly normal symptom of being a responsible citizen with a social conscience.