To change my name by deed poll to drop my middle name

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

I’ve always disliked my middle name, but the older I’ve grown, the more it’s turned into hate. I was named after my paternal grandmother. Not only is it a very old-fashioned name that no one has been named for generations (think something like ‘Philomena’), my grandmother was a truly horrible person.

I wasn’t close to her at all, she wasn’t maternal and was over-bearing and strict on the few times we visited as children. My father tried to force a relationship with us children as we got older with weekly visits, once she became more frail and eventually bedridden, but it never took.

It seems trivial, but I really hate seeing my full name on my driver’s license and passport, and just want to be known by First/Last Name only.

I don’t plan on telling my parents as I know they won’t approve. Despite his parents not having been warm and loving (he and his siblings were raised by live-in help), he gave all of us middle names from members of his family and remains dutiful to his dad who is still alive. That’s all fine, it’s his choice, but I want a choice in my name now.

So, AIBU?

It’s your name, your choice- do it! Your parents don’t need to know, no-one needs to know, and you’ll have the names you like on your paperwork.

Of course not. Go for it! What's in a name anyway? You can change the whole lot to something you prefer even. Life's too short to be looking at things that make you unhappy - especially if you can do something about it.

It's no one's business but your own now. Goodluck with the change. Hope it goes well.

I don't think you really need to change it by deed poll. I'm not even sure how that works. Since birth I was always called by my middle name for some reason, and eventually I stopped putting my first name on applications and things, and now it's not on any official documentation. I know yours is the other way around but still if you don't want it on anything, it's easy just to contact the relevant agencies and ask it to be taken off.

Go for it, I'm really happy I did it.

ZaraTheWonderDog is right in that in the UK you can just change your name by use in most situations, with some companies it's just an online form change (even HMRC is like this), but some places (like banks, passports, and medical places in my experience) are more likely to push for some sort of paperwork these days so going for deed poll can make it faster to change everything.

If you want to be Princess Consuela instead of Phoebe Buffay, go for it. It's your name and your identity; it doesn't belong to anyone else.

Go for it. Get your documents changed so you don’t see the middle name on anything anymore. The family don’t have to know and what they don’t know won’t hurt them.

I changed my title and last name by Deed poll. This was before I got married. Because I didn’t want to get married. But wanted the same name as my partner and children.

It was the best thing I ever did. But made a nightmare for car insurance. (Though that was only because me and my partner had the same surname and the computer said no. We couldn’t not be married!)

It seems trivial, but I really hate seeing my full name on my driver’s license and passport, and just want to be known by First/Last Name only.

How often are you gazing at your driving licence and passport?

Seems a bit of a faff for a middle name, imo. Many people have more than one forename, but few are known by both forenames so the circumstances in which you're confronted by both names are surely fairly far and few between?

I say this as someone who had made a minor change to one of my names, but I had been living with the changed version with childhood and it was already used on all my documents, save birth certificate and passport.

But it's your name, so have at whatever makes you happy.

I don't understand. Who actually uses their middle name anyway? Your middle name is only on your licence because you chose to add it. Deed poll is if you are changing your first name or your surname. You don't use deed poll to change/erase a middle name you don't even use! Just don't give your middle name when signing documents. I have 2 middle names - one on my birth certificate, the second one given to me not long after but never added to my birth certificate.

I use NEITHER names on forms. Only first name and last name. I don't think you can use deed poll to change a name that you don't even formally use. It's different if it is your actual first name or last name.

Just stop using it and adding it on forms. That's all.

YANBU. I want to do this too; my middle name is my birth mother's name, and I want no further reminder of her.

£42.44 for the privilege though!

Go for it.

I'm known by my middle name, and have thought about just dropping my first name. I should have done it many years ago though, around the age of 18 before it was on far too much stuff. I'm 54 now and it is on so many documents that the thought of getting it changed on everything gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Go for it if you want to, a few years ago now I changed my entire name, I wanted to change my first name and I wasn’t hugely keen on my middle names or my surname, so I decided to go for it.

I don't think you can use deed poll to change a name that you don't even formally use.

Having made a minor change to the first of my two forenames via deed poll, you can certainly change ANY of your forenames in that way.

But the question is, why would anyone want to? Just don't stare at your passport/driving licence and leave it off all other records. Problem solved.

@SimonJT

Go for it if you want to, a few years ago now I changed my entire name, I wanted to change my first name and I wasn’t hugely keen on my middle names or my surname, so I decided to go for it.

Blimey, a whole new you!

Do you get dead named by family or when you bump into people who knew you from the distant past?

@Cokie3

I don't understand. Who actually uses their middle name anyway? Your middle name is only on your licence because you chose to add it. Deed poll is if you are changing your first name or your surname. You don't use deed poll to change/erase a middle name you don't even use! Just don't give your middle name when signing documents. I have 2 middle names - one on my birth certificate, the second one given to me not long after but never added to my birth certificate.

I use NEITHER names on forms. Only first name and last name. I don't think you can use deed poll to change a name that you don't even formally use. It's different if it is your actual first name or last name.

Just stop using it and adding it on forms. That's all.

Yes you do use a deed poll for this, to make it legal. I've looked into this, changing your name includes removing parts of it as well.

I thought that leaving my middle name off was simply the way to do it as well, when I applied for my passport. I then received a letter stating that my names must match all of the names shown on my birth certificate, and I had to redo the form or risk my application being rejected. Same for drivers license, as they just use the information from your passport (I entered my passport number in my application and they pulled the photo as well so that's what's on it).

It's not about looking at my license/passport regularly, it's about it being there and therefore being on my employment records etc as those are the forms of ID used.

Nothing wrong with that, it's your name.

@MrsSpenserGregson

YANBU. I want to do this too; my middle name is my birth mother's name, and I want no further reminder of her.

£42.44 for the privilege though!

Yes I quite understand! The more I think about it, the more I think I'm going to do it.

Hi I did this. I just dropped my middle name from my passport and driving license when I renewed them. It was never on my bank account. The only documet that now has my middle name on it is my birth certificate and on that my first name is spelt incorrectly so I just never use it as ID.

Yeh, deed poll is a way to evidence any name change.

If it's bothering you, it's worth a bit of admin to have that weight lifted.

@Topseyt

Go for it.

I'm known by my middle name, and have thought about just dropping my first name. I should have done it many years ago though, around the age of 18 before it was on far too much stuff. I'm 54 now and it is on so many documents that the thought of getting it changed on everything gives me the heebie-jeebies.

I know someone that swapped his first and middle names around via deed poll, as he was also known by his middle!

Just don't get conned into paying £££ for one. You can prepare your own for free which means the only costs are driving licence and passport fees (and postage/stationery costs).

I would make a list of everywhere you need to update, how to do it (some places just want a letter and photocopy, some can be done online without evidence, some have forms, passport/driving licence have specific processes) and then sort it all in one go.

@Greatday77

Hi I did this. I just dropped my middle name from my passport and driving license when I renewed them. It was never on my bank account. The only documet that now has my middle name on it is my birth certificate and on that my first name is spelt incorrectly so I just never use it as ID.

If it was this simple that's what I'd do. Maybe it's because I'm a naturalised British citizen and wasn't born here, but I applied for my first passport as an adult and left my middle name off the form, then received a letter stating that the names on the form must match the names on my birth certificate, and I had to redo the form! Then when I applied for my license, they used my passport info and so once again all of my names were included

@user194729573

Just don't get conned into paying £££ for one. You can prepare your own for free which means the only costs are driving licence and passport fees (and postage/stationery costs).

I would make a list of everywhere you need to update, how to do it (some places just want a letter and photocopy, some can be done online without evidence, some have forms, passport/driving licence have specific processes) and then sort it all in one go.

Thanks for this advice

@Butchyrestingface I don’t really see people from before, plus I was known by my new name for quite a while before I officially changed it.

I've changed my name several times. Got married, took first husbands name. Got divorced, went back to using maiden name. Got married again, took second husbands name.

Never used Deed Poll. Just informed people. (I'm in Scotland).