To change my name by deed poll to drop my middle name

[MolyHolyGuacamole]

I’ve always disliked my middle name, but the older I’ve grown, the more it’s turned into hate. I was named after my paternal grandmother. Not only is it a very old-fashioned name that no one has been named for generations (think something like ‘Philomena’), my grandmother was a truly horrible person.

I wasn’t close to her at all, she wasn’t maternal and was over-bearing and strict on the few times we visited as children. My father tried to force a relationship with us children as we got older with weekly visits, once she became more frail and eventually bedridden, but it never took.

It seems trivial, but I really hate seeing my full name on my driver’s license and passport, and just want to be known by First/Last Name only.

I don’t plan on telling my parents as I know they won’t approve. Despite his parents not having been warm and loving (he and his siblings were raised by live-in help), he gave all of us middle names from members of his family and remains dutiful to his dad who is still alive. That’s all fine, it’s his choice, but I want a choice in my name now.

So, AIBU?

@Changethetoner

I've changed my name several times. Got married, took first husbands name. Got divorced, went back to using maiden name. Got married again, took second husbands name.

Never used Deed Poll. Just informed people. (I'm in Scotland).

You don't need a deed poll to evidence the change of your name on marriage or divorce.

That's all a deed poll is: evidence of the name you use.

I have never ever used or needed to use my middle name, I have always thought they were pointless, can’t you just not use it, instead of paying to remove it?

Go for it!
Yes it might seem trivial to other people, but it’s not to you!

@allthegoodusernameshavegone

I have never ever used or needed to use my middle name, I have always thought they were pointless, can’t you just not use it, instead of paying to remove it?

I wish I could! I explained upthread why that didn't work for my passport/drivers license. It's those documents that really mean a lot to me to have the name dropped, as they are the main accepted forms of ID

@MrsSpenserGregson

YANBU. I want to do this too; my middle name is my birth mother's name, and I want no further reminder of her.

£42.44 for the privilege though!

Deed polls are free, just check the info on GOV.uk.

There are websites that will charge you for this, don't get fooled.

You can pay a little to get a deed poll formally gazetted, but that isn't always necessary.

@MrsSpenserGregson

YANBU. I want to do this too; my middle name is my birth mother's name, and I want no further reminder of her.

£42.44 for the privilege though!

Sounds quite cheap if you feel strongly about it!

If you want. But I think you could also just drop it?

@MrsSpenserGregson

YANBU. I want to do this too; my middle name is my birth mother's name, and I want no further reminder of her.

£42.44 for the privilege though!

On every thread!

You do not need to pay to do a deed poll. You can do it yourself.

Deed polls are free, statutory declarations using a deed poll shouldn't be much.

I had to do this to get a name change on a US passport (different countries have different rules on this), I just copy and pasted the deed poll info from the citizen's advice, did up the document, went to a local place that does statutory declarations, cost me £20 to get 4 copies stamped.

I changed by deed poll. People who say you don't need one have never tried to get a work visa for China.
I have a name like Rosemary and everyone called me "Rose" but I've been "Mary" all my life so after getting fed up of people insisting on calling me Rose after being asked repeatedly not to, I did a deed poll and changed it. Now I get called Mary at job interviews, when I call the electricity company, etc. Win.
Get a free deed poll, fill out the details, get someone (anyone) to witness it and send it to everywhere that you are registered (bank, passport, DVLA/DVA etc).
You will also need a deed poll if you're changing your name and want to still use your old qualifications e.g. to apply for a new course of higher education.
It's damn useful to change it officially if it bothers you to see it.

I have a name like Rosemary should have said "I had a name like Rosemary."

@NoOneOwnsTheRainbow

I changed by deed poll. People who say you don't need one have never tried to get a work visa for China. I have a name like Rosemary and everyone called me "Rose" but I've been "Mary" all my life so after getting fed up of people insisting on calling me Rose after being asked repeatedly not to, I did a deed poll and changed it. Now I get called Mary at job interviews, when I call the electricity company, etc. Win. Get a free deed poll, fill out the details, get someone (anyone) to witness it and send it to everywhere that you are registered (bank, passport, DVLA/DVA etc). You will also need a deed poll if you're changing your name and want to still use your old qualifications e.g. to apply for a new course of higher education. It's damn useful to change it officially if it bothers you to see it.

Thank you! Very useful info

My beloved DIL is "Philomena".

I've pretty much ditched my middle name.

For years I used the initials of my first and middle names as part of my signature and then decided that, as my signature had changed quite considerably over the years, I'd adopt a completely new one minus the middle name initial.

I notified my bank of my new signature and gradually changed it on everything else. I also explained the change when I got a replacement passport, my previous one had been stolen.

No one has ever queried it. I now never use my middle name.

Unless something has changed since I was working as a lawyer, you don't need to use a deed poll to change your name. I suppose it might make things easier for passport, driving licence etc, but I don't know as I've not ever considered/experienced it.

I think that if you hate one of your names then of course you should just ditch it. No need to tell your family.

In fact, I suppose I have in a way, though I didn't really think it through as you have. I preferred my confirmation middle name to the one inflicted on me at birth, and so I don't actually use the one I don't like e.g. applying for a job, filling in any other kind of form.

www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

Not unreasonable at all.

It’s your life, your name.

No need to tell them either.

I knew someone who changed their middle name because they didn’t like the initials that the original made.

Go for it! I changed my name via deed poll after it got married a few years ago, cost £50 and just needed a witness to sign it. I changed mine because I wanted to take DHs surname but also keep my own. So I’m now FirstName MiddleName MaidenName NewSurname. It’s a faff having a long name but was easy enough to do and it was my choice - didn’t ask anyone just made the decision myself

You are not unreasonable - it’s your name and totally up to you and no one else.

As an aside - why do people come on here and give advice (which is incorrect) like it is the gospel truth. If you don’t know how it actually works then don’t give your opinion like it is fact. Infuriating

You do fricking need a proof of change of name for most official documents. If for instance you want to apply for a visa, if you have to deal with legal matters like a probate when the will refers to you in your former name - this exact thing happened to me.

You CAN just decide that you want a different name and ask people to call you it and you can even apply for official documents in it if you want but when you get asked to prove your former and current name you won’t be able to without either a marriage licence or a deed poll.
A friend applied to the police and none of her names and ID matched up properly so she failed the vetting stages.

So those who are saying they aren’t needed - are only looking at it from their own limited experience.

@Tippexy @TurquoiseDragon yes I know that thanks, but if you want to put your new name on public record in the UK, you do need to pay for it. Here www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

So if, like me (and it sounds like the OP too) you want to have your new name legally recognised on your driving licence, passport etc, you do need to pay.

@2020iscancelled

You are not unreasonable - it’s your name and totally up to you and no one else.

As an aside - why do people come on here and give advice (which is incorrect) like it is the gospel truth. If you don’t know how it actually works then don’t give your opinion like it is fact. Infuriating

Hear hear!

I believe you can ask for your passport to be changed without a deed poll bit doing in a section called additional information, saying you don't use your middle name and offering documentary evidence such as utilities bills and the like. It actually does say you can do that on the HMRC passport website.

www.gov.uk/changing-passport-information/name-divorce-deed-poll-forenames-title

Whether that's less hassle than deed poll im not sure as I've never looked into it

[quote MrsSpenserGregson]**@Tippexy* @TurquoiseDragon yes I know that thanks, but if you want to put your new name on public record in the UK, you do* need to pay for it. Here www.gov.uk/change-name-deed-poll

So if, like me (and it sounds like the OP too) you want to have your new name legally recognised on your driving licence, passport etc, you do need to pay.[/quote]
But you don't need the deed poll to be enrolled for it to be recognised for the licence. Or for a passport.