Is this an extreme reaction to a goldfish?

[NeverEscaping]

Family Goldfish passed away. Person was distraught, cried for hours. Then proceeded to dig a hole in the garden, an unused bed of soil, buried the fish inside their favourite tank ornament (an open barrel type thing it swam in and out of) below the soil. Placed a wooden post on top so as to remember the spot and plans to turn the bed into a memorial of sorts with lots of flowers planted.

Is this a bit of an extreme response to the passing of a goldfish or totally reasonable?

Sorry for your loss @NeverEscaping I'm sure the little garden memorial will look lovely 💐

@staceyflack Thank you! I can't wait to start it, just waiting for the weather to change!

As fish go, goldfish do have a lot of personality. My oldest fish is getting on for 16 and though he doesn't have anything like the intelligence or personality of a goldfish, let alone the ability too interact with his owner like goldfish do, I still know I'll be upset when he goes.

Is it the size of a pet which justifies the degree of attachment and the degree of bereavement?

So arrange in sequence - fish, mice, dog and horse?

Or what?

People form attachments to pets, places, incidents, objects. These attachments vary depending on where they are in life, what else is going on for them, how fragile they are currently feeling or not.

How the fuck will a bunch of strangers know why this persons attachment to their pet is so significant that this loss is felt so strongly at this particular point in time?

Why can’t you just note that they are feeling fragile and trying to do something which comforts them and so be it?

People can be daft about their pets. It’s a stronger reaction than I would have given but that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Enjoy your garden OP

I think it’s quite sweet. Is this actually personally affecting you @NeverEscaping ?? If so then seriously just let it go and let the person grieve in piece 😜

Maybe they are grieving the (late)goldfish...how old was it?...not that it really matters-they might be grieving the familiarity ,or memories attached to it?or ...feel like they shoulda realised its been swimming about shouting "help" and the guilt they didni is hitting hard?.....//sorry..that wasnt nice.my mum once kept our deceased budgie in a ferrero rocher "casket" til dad got home. ..dunno if he knew whether to kiss her or kill her really....spoze i might have a little twisted humour thats not very appropriate.

I don’t think it’s odd; it’s a natural reaction to the loss of a little life that you loved. So sorry - RIP Sally.

When my favourite tarantula eventually dies, I will be distraught. She’s over 20 years old and I genuinely love her.

However, when it does happen (fingers crossed not for a long time), I’ll keep my grief to myself and my close family, as otherwise people would think I was overreacting or looking for attention.

Saying that, I also felt a bit teary reading about the untimely death of Ming, the world’s oldest clam. Scientists prised it open, killing it in the process, only to discover afterwards that it was over 500 years old.

People feel what they feel.

I cried a lot when my pet rat died. Probably a lot of people would think that is an overreaction, but I loved him!

It isn't hurting anyone, and seems like a reasonable way to express grief to me.

Compete over reaction by an adult to a creature that has no ability to accept or show emotion. Weird!

It's as reasonable as grief for any other pet's death. People can love all sorts of family pets; the loss is no less if the pet was a lizard or a horse.

Condolences on your loss, as I infer this was your pet goldfish. YANBU. x

When swim shady died my 8yo fished him out and flushed him! I'm was so concerned by her lack of emotion at the time 🤣🤣

It wouldn't bother me. I've always had cats and dogs and been absolutely devastated when one of them died. I know of people who have been gutted by the deaths of rabbits/guinea pigs/hamsters etc. And some people clearly are upset for by the death of a goldfish. It is not for me or anyone else to decide how much they should care about it during it's life, or how upset they should be when it sadly dies.

Who cares whether other people think it was reasonable? It was what they felt. So good for them for acting on their feelings so decisively.

No more an overreaction than people having to take time off from work when their pet dies.

Nort hurting anyone is it?
Goldfish that are well cared for can live for 20 years. Leave her alone.

Well it's way better for someone to be like this than be an uncaring person ... and like other people have said none of us are in a great place right now

I don't think so. I'm a member of some fish groups on FB and lots of people do funerals for their fish.

I gave mine back to mother nature by flinging them in the garden (lot smaller than goldfish though).

Similar situation was how we discovered my dd's OCD, classy how this situation is the source of so much derision

@NeverEscaping

Her name was Sally and she was rescued from a Fair. A beautiful golden orange she was with a feisty personality. She liked chasing the 'friend' we got for her from Pets at Home round and round the tank. She certainly ruled the roost. She enjoyed nibbling fingers and liked a little stroke down her side.

It sounds like she had a lovely life with you. x

@Girlyracer

Compete over reaction by an adult to a creature that has no ability to accept or show emotion. Weird!

Bit of a self-centred worldview there. A fish may have a dramatically different set of instincts and behaviours to a human but that doesn't mean you couldn't get to know one if you paid attention. How do you know goldfish don't have emotions? Surely it's just as likely that they do, but you don't have the ability to recognise them?

I know it's not the done thing to value animal life other than our own (apart from cute furry animal life, naturally) but I don't think that speaks particularly well of us, as a species.

No it’s not. It’s still a pet. I have a huge goldie in a patio pond. He looks through the little windows when you get close to it and eats out of your hand. He’s around 20 years old. I’ll be gutted when he dies!