Is this an extreme reaction to a goldfish?

[NeverEscaping]

Family Goldfish passed away. Person was distraught, cried for hours. Then proceeded to dig a hole in the garden, an unused bed of soil, buried the fish inside their favourite tank ornament (an open barrel type thing it swam in and out of) below the soil. Placed a wooden post on top so as to remember the spot and plans to turn the bed into a memorial of sorts with lots of flowers planted.

Is this a bit of an extreme response to the passing of a goldfish or totally reasonable?

Also - Swim free Sally you were loved

I think pets can mean a lot to people and they genuinely feel bereft when they die. I remember feeling shocked at how sad I felt when my fish died. They are still pets, why have them if they mean nothing ?! There's nothing wrong with giving it a burial, I absolutely hate the callousness of flushing dead aquatic pets. But if he continues to mourn and seems hung up on it after a while then maybe it's a sign of something deeper.

I think provided it wasn't wheeled down the garden on a gun carriage accompanied with a military band I'd let it go.

I'd certainly draw the line if they wanted a commemorative coin struck.

People get attached by pets...I don’t think anyone can criticise just cause they think it shouldn’t be a worth grieving. I have buried three tarantulas, in little homemade lolly stick coffins. They may not be what anyone considers important, but to the owner, they are.

Some posters on here are very cold-hearted. Of course it is OK for an adult to grieve the loss of a well-loved pet. I have two 15 year-old goldfish and they give me so much joy. I will feel devastated when they move to the “pond in the sky”.

@TwoLeftSocksWithHoles - haha! 😂

It is an over-reaction, but so what. Some people are "devastated" when a jumper is sold out online. As long as people are not making themselves a nuisance, they are allowed to over-react. We are not robots.

Ouch - Iknow !! 😢

I think it's extreme, but there are many possible reasons for it. Maybe it has dredged up emotions from some bigger past loss, for example. Unless your think it's a sign that they may need extra care or support, I'd just leave them to it. If you're worried about them for some reason, file it away in your mind and keep a closer eye on them until you're satisfied that they're alright.

I get so angry reading some of these comments. A pet is a pet! Goldfish may not do much but people grow attached to them. People feel they are less of a pet than a cat, dog, horse etc but why? It’s an animal you’ve cared for and loved.

RIP Sally hope you’re having a fanastic time in your new endless fish tank

@LivingMyBestLife2020 maybe your sister just felt so deflated at the demise of the balloon?

Ah, didn't read far enough before posting. If you're the one in mourning, OP, I wouldn't worry what anyone thought about it. Love is the point of pets, and Sally was lucky to have someone who truly valued her.

I was distraught when my goldfish died. I cried for ages afterwards. In my defence though I was 5 at the time.

I think people can be upset with whatever they want to be upset about. Some people get really upset when they sell their car! That is not under question. Is it an extreme reaction? Yes! And that’s what the OP asked. Extreme but understandable.

Yes it's extreme. But under current circumstances perhaps not entirely unsurprising

One of my hamsters died this week. I’d been expecting it but it has still really affected me. He symbolised an important time of my life, I got him just after my late husband died because my husband wouldn’t let me have a hamster.

Pets keep us going at the best of times, and especially at the moment

@MissMarpleDarling

HUGE overreaction I would say they have other emotions they need to deal with and are putting it all on this.

This.

You're responsible for a pet and they depend on you. It would be really heartless if you didn't have a bond with them, especially if they had a longish life.
The last fish to die from our 3 did not have a quick death, I had to separate him from the others and wait until he hung on in there or not. It was sad to watch but there were not many interventions I could do, even if I'd have preferred to. Buried him on a big oxeye daisy head (underground though).

My sister & her daughters fish died last week, they put it in a tub and wrote some nice words on the tub then buried it in the garden and put flowers on top.

They dont have any deep routed issues, they were just simply sad about the fish dying.

Our goldfish died about three weeks before the due date of my terminally ill daughter (we knew a stillbirth was a 50% likelihood and that it was unlikely she’d live long if she did survive birth)

We were devastated by the death of the goldfish clearly looking back it was displacement of our anticipatory grief for our daughter but it didn’t feel like it at the time. I remember crying and sobbing in the garden. Sometimes it’s not about the goldfish. Cut them some slack.

Way ott.

My guess is there are other issues or a bizarre attempt at attention seeking.

[quote Bookworming]@LivingMyBestLife2020 maybe your sister just felt so deflated at the demise of the balloon? [/quote]
Ha ha ha ha!!!

@Katinski

YANBU! When Maureen died at 12yrs old (heading for the Guinness Book of Records) her gold had turned pure silver. My tales of The Doings Of Maureen were shared with my online friends and we held a Wake for her I buried her in the garden and I bought a fish shaped ornament for her headstone. That was years ago, but the headstone is still with me. Lovely, characterful goldfish, even if she used to nag me unmercifully if I overslept and was late with her breakfast

Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but that's still a young goldfish. Many reach 30-40 years old with good care, which is the lifespan of a goldfish! Sadly most in aquariums don't reach anywhere this. Still, it's mightily better than the many that only make a few months, or years!

To the OP. It does seem a bit extreme to many of us.. but it really depends on the persons character. If they're a massive animal lover, then of course a pet passing will upset them. As another poster mentioned, if there's any guilt involved often owners take it even harder. If it was their only pet, and they doted on it as many of us dote on other pets, then it's perhaps quite understandable.

Goldfish are actually very intelligent fish. They have the capability to recognise owners, recognise different music, be trained. And yes, they can even beg for food when their owners come in the room (and not when others enter the room!). So it's perfectly reasonable that the owner of this fish recognised all this and doesn't suscribe to the 'it's just a fish' attitude, and loved it dearly. If only more did, in my honest opinion - goldfish are one of the most abused pets going.

I cried when both our goldfish died. I was the one who ended up taking care of them when the kids got bored of them and it was my job to keep them alive. This may be tied in with the second one dying near the 16th anniversary of our first miscarriage though as I remember being upset that it was something else I couldn't keep alive.

The whole family are desperate for a dog but I keep putting it off. If this is how it feels with goldfish how will it feel when a dog dies ...

Yes, it does sound like an extreme reaction in the sense that most people wouldn't be so upset by a fish dying.

But that's okay, it doesn't mean that the person is wrong or stupid - just that they were more attached to their fish than many people would be.

I am very attached to a beautiful house plant. I have recently moved from the UK and will be away for several years. Before we left I made sure to find a "foster parent" for my plant and left them with very specific care instructions I'm sure most people would say that it is "extreme" but in the grand scheme of things it doesn't really matter, does it? Let people love things without judgement.