can't decide between job offers

[colalight]

So I was made redundant last year due to Covid 19. I was earning £37,000pa. Public sector so it was good pay, benefits, pension, unionised, family friendly policies etc.
I wasn't happy where I was as I found it quite stressful. Not because of the job itself but the targets were quite impossible and my managers were arseholes. So the redundancy (voluntary) was quite a relief and the package was good.
I wanted to still work though so I've been applying for lots of roles and I have two offers.
First one is £41,000pa and mostly home based but with occasional travel to London which is quite a way to travel. Its private sector. 25 days holiday a year, employee voice (rather than a union), "excellent" pension scheme (but no details other than that), nothing about staff benefits although glassdoor says 'shop discounts'. Oh and they were asking me in the interview about my preferred gender pronouns which made me a bit uncomfortable. The interviewer also kept going on about the BLM movement (which I support) but again it made me feel this organisation was a bit too political and woke for me.
Second one is £30,000pa and only home based during Covid 19 but its 30 mins from home. Its public sector. 31 days holiday a year, flexible working policies, has lots of staff, networks and societies, very detailed list of staff benefits, very good pension scheme and it is unionised. It could open lots more doors for me career wise.
I want to accept the second offer but my head is saying its a step back for me.
My DH says we can afford it (plus he's hoping to get a promotion). He also says it is more important to be happy. He says I can keep job searching whilst in job 2 but I can't stop my head from saying "you've worked so hard to get where you are and you will be failing!" I also worry that it could take forever to get back up to what I earned before - if at all.
WIBU to take the lower salary? Has anyone been in a similar position?

@ButtWormHole its more that I don't want to get involved in political and woke stuff at work, I just want to get on with my job. Nothing to do with disagreeing with anything or my particular views.

so just off a teams call with job 1 where I asked more questions. They did NOT seem happy.

Good work @colalight If they don't seem happy now when you are trying to get you to join, who knows what they would be like when you were actually there.

Really not a sign of a great working culture.

Hope job2 goes well.

I wouldnt work somewhere where they asked my preferred pronouns in an interview unless the opportunity was too good to pass up. They are subscribing to an ideology that is setting women back decades plus you are going to have to walk around on eggshells there. What happens if you accidently refer to someone without using their preferred pronouns. That's so stressful you have enough to worry about with just the job responsibilities let alone that extra layer of exteme political correctness to stress about.

In private sector a company will say they have a great pension if they over 1% above what they are required to by law. It's ridiculous but remember they're essentially sales people trying to attract people, they're not going to say they have an industry average pension.

You seem to want to go for 2nd job and you can afford it, just do it.

If they asked your preferred pronouns at interview, they're not as "woke" as they think they are. We don't ask until someone accepts a job offer, as there's no reason to need to know gender before we've made the decision ;-)

@colalight I think your making the right choice 👍🏽 best of luck in your new role op

@ButtWormHole

Imagine being upset because a company asked you your preferred pronouns.

I dont think op was upset more put off as these questions simply do not need to be asked to an interviewee. As a pp has highlighted offer stage maybe...for me it stinks of trying too hard to be "woke" rather than them actually being.

Job 2 for the holidays and public sector benefits.

fuck. Job 1 has come back to offer me £45,000 so more money to go with them instead. DH says he doesn't care what I choose and I still think I wouldn't enjoy it but the money.....!