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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU - anyone else now feel weird doing something without their DH/Partner??

43 replies

FitzsimmonsMarvel · 24/01/2021 10:15

Lighthearted!!

Myself & DH have been working from home since March when the pandemic hit. Our daily routine is walk the dog (together), work in the same office together, have lunch together, work together, cook together, spend the evening together, go to bed together!

I had to go to an appointment myself last week and it actually felt odd going somewhere without him!

I said to him it’s going to be so weird to go back to normal with work and meeting friends having spent pretty much an entire year constantly together and often without seeing anyone else for weeks or months due to the lockdowns!

Anyone else developing a weird co dependency on their other half due to lockdown?

OP posts:
Original poster
FitzsimmonsMarvel · 24/01/2021 10:16

I should add things reached a new low when he said he was going outside to check the post the other day and did I ‘want to come with him for the walk’ and I did 😂😂🙈

OP posts:
Oysterbabe · 24/01/2021 10:19

God no. Going to the shop alone is the closest thing I get to a holiday these days. I can't wait until I'm allowed to go in to the office from time to time.

C0NNIE · 24/01/2021 10:20

No. We both work at home from different rooms doing different jobs and on different time schedules, so we eat at different times too.

Also I walk a lot for exercise and he doesn’t.

It suits me, I couldn’t be bothered with all that togetherness.

Trinacham · 24/01/2021 10:26

I've been DH colleague for the past 7 years so already was Grin we make sure we have some alone time when not working to keep things healthy!

whoamongstus · 24/01/2021 10:27

Hahaha yeah we're the same - a trip to the pharmacy or somewhere now and we're like "...shall we go together?".

I think we're lucky we haven't got on each other's nerves once though - we do do our own thing in the evenings a lot, but we're not sick of spending all our time together thank god.

doodleygirl · 24/01/2021 10:27

Just no!

FolkyFoxFace · 24/01/2021 10:37

Yes! DH and I also work in the same building. When WFH ends I'll likely be on maternity leave, and being apart all day is going to be really strange for us. Aside from the odd sick day, we've always booked annual leave at the same time, etc. so we're in for a shock to the system.

HeadNorth · 24/01/2021 10:37

I know what you mean - it has actually been great how well DH have rubbed along together during lockdown as we have never been together so continuously in our 30 years as a couple! Fortunately he does work out the house a couple of days a week now, which I appreciate and I go for a run without him 3 times a week and he does the shop without me. But we go for a big long walk together every day and are together most of the week. If he wasn't easy going and good company it would be really tough.

StillCoughingandLaughing · 24/01/2021 10:44

To be fair, there are a worrying number of people on MN who were outraged at the idea of going anywhere without their partner long before this happened. God knows what they’ll be like now.

Achangeagain1 · 24/01/2021 10:47

I do know what you mean - although we do walk the dog/go shopping separately.
It did occur to me that I will feel very strange when we are back to normal and dh has an evening out. Haven’t been at home on my own for almost a year!

whatisforteamum · 24/01/2021 10:50

Definitely not.I don't normally see dh.I get home at 1030 and work w ends he is up at 5am so we normally see each other once a month and a bit of my eves off.
In the spring lockdown it was a huge novelty,walking everywhere and meals as a family.
This has been harder as he has a bad temper and negative attitude.He is also on furlough next week and I'm dreading it.
I can't imagine living and working with someone my dd does this.

SleepingStandingUp · 24/01/2021 10:51

I'm going all those who can't go to the shop alone, one of you is waiting outside

Original poster
FitzsimmonsMarvel · 24/01/2021 11:09

@whoamongstus haha yes we are exactly like that!

@HeadNorth yes we’ve also gotten on so well. My DH is also easy going and pulls his weight around the house so we’ve gotten along easily despite seeing no one and going nowhere for most of the year!

Going to take some getting used to when we go back to normality

OP posts:
Mmmmdanone · 24/01/2021 11:13

Sounds like you have a lovely relationship op. Personally I can't wait until dh has to go back to the office, and football can start or any other reason for him to leave the house.

ParkheadParadise · 24/01/2021 11:19

No
I'm used to DH working long hours.

Now he's here more often and found my sweetie cupboard the same sweetie cupboard that he tutted at 12months ago now he reminds him to buy percey pigs when I'm going shopping.
Although he is taking over homeschooling this week.

Kottbullar · 24/01/2021 11:20

Mine stays away for work during weekdays. I feel weird doing stuff with him!

peboh · 24/01/2021 11:20

Oh god no.
I relish those moments away from dh, and he's still out working. I haven't and never will be a part of a couple that can't be apart for more than 5 minutes 🤣

Original poster
FitzsimmonsMarvel · 24/01/2021 11:30

@peboh that’s a bit sad really to relish when your DH is away. We aren’t one of ‘those couples who can’t be apart for more than 5 mins’. A year of our relationship was long distance (I was abroad for work) and we usually are working in our own offices in the city/meeting friends for drinks etc - normal social life.

But now we’ve had to spend so much time together we are loving it and will find it weird to go back to normal - that’s what I meant by this thread.

OP posts:
RedskyBynight · 24/01/2021 11:31

No the opposite. We are so sick of being with each other all the time that stuff we used to do together (e.g. go for a walk) we now positively beg to do on our own. Never being in the house on my own is one thing I'm finding really hard.

Achangeagain1 · 24/01/2021 11:33

@peboh you do realise that many don’t really have much choice. WFH + lockdown means few opportunities to be apart (even if you want to be).

Hankunamatata · 24/01/2021 11:41

Nope. Shopping alone is bliss

BabyYodaYada · 24/01/2021 11:43

@StillCoughingandLaughing

To be fair, there are a worrying number of people on MN who were outraged at the idea of going anywhere without their partner long before this happened. God knows what they’ll be like now.
This.
letmethinkaboutitfornow · 24/01/2021 11:57

@FitzsimmonsMarvel

I should add things reached a new low when he said he was going outside to check the post the other day and did I ‘want to come with him for the walk’ and I did 😂😂🙈
I think it’s sweet 🥰🤣🤗💐
whoamongstus · 24/01/2021 15:52

I always think it's funny how upset some people on MN get about couples who like spending time together 😂

It's not that I can't be without my partner for 5 minutes but we're best friends so we like doing stuff together, even if that stuff is just going to Tesco (although not at the moment as it's one person only!). I still see my own friends seperately, spend time off up in my office gaming/writing/reading, etc. But if he's off to do errands and I'm not busy of course I'm going too, I like hanging out with him and a trip to the tip is just as fun with him as anything else. You'd think we were very codependent though - he likes it if I bring a brew and sit and chat to him while he's in the bath haha!

FolkyFoxFace · 24/01/2021 16:00

@whoamongstus

I always think it's funny how upset some people on MN get about couples who like spending time together 😂

It's not that I can't be without my partner for 5 minutes but we're best friends so we like doing stuff together, even if that stuff is just going to Tesco (although not at the moment as it's one person only!). I still see my own friends seperately, spend time off up in my office gaming/writing/reading, etc. But if he's off to do errands and I'm not busy of course I'm going too, I like hanging out with him and a trip to the tip is just as fun with him as anything else. You'd think we were very codependent though - he likes it if I bring a brew and sit and chat to him while he's in the bath haha!

We're the same! I'm not sure why some people find it odd. It's nice spending time with someone you love!

It's not like we don't do our own thing. I'm currently reading/browsing MN while he's working on an art project. Both in the same room, bits of conversation now and again - stopped before to get crumpets because we were peckish. He's good company even if we're not actively doing something!

He also likes a chat while one of us is in the bath. I do too. 😂