AIBU - anyone else now feel weird doing something without their DH/Partner??

[FitzsimmonsMarvel]

Lighthearted!!

Myself & DH have been working from home since March when the pandemic hit. Our daily routine is walk the dog (together), work in the same office together, have lunch together, work together, cook together, spend the evening together, go to bed together!

I had to go to an appointment myself last week and it actually felt odd going somewhere without him!

I said to him it’s going to be so weird to go back to normal with work and meeting friends having spent pretty much an entire year constantly together and often without seeing anyone else for weeks or months due to the lockdowns!

Anyone else developing a weird co dependency on their other half due to lockdown?

Yes & we love it. Wonder what the hell we'll do when life resumes

We’re one of those annoying couples who do everything together! He’s my favourite person. I’ll be very sad when he goes back to work.

Glad to hear Im not the only one 😃

DH and I met at work but now work at different organisations. Working "together" again has been a positive experience.

I think it has to be a mix though and I like my own space too. His parents used to do everything together and it was quite difficult when FIL died for MIL to navigate. Obviously she was perfectly capable of doing things alone but everything had a sense of loss with it.

No because my dh is still going away for work weeks at a time. So he is gone half of the year...

If I'm honest that sounds suffocating to me. I enjoy my own company and like being away from him sometimes

It hasn't worked this way for us at all.
My DH has to go out to work and I've changed my working (from home) hours to fit around him and homeschooling 3 children. We see less of each other than ever and when we are together the children are always there too. I miss him!

I'm a housewife so get quite lonely being here by myself all week so when DH gets back from work I cling to him for a while.

Now he's wfh we're both making the most of having each other around and it's nice to know that even when we're doing our own thing he's not far away if I want a cuddle or someone to have a cuppa with.

Today he went out to his garage to work on his bikes for an hour and I actually missed him. It's a nice feeling but I'm worried when he goes back to work I'll demand to go with him

@HighSpecWhistle

If I'm honest that sounds suffocating to me. I enjoy my own company and like being away from him sometimes

That is exactly how I felt & what my relationship has been like for around 29 years. That is why lockdown has been a relevation - how well we have rubbed along together when we are in each others company nearly 24/7.

Normally we go out to work and have seperate as well as shared hobbies and friends outside work. Now it is pretty much just the two of us and we are doing just grand. It will be interesting to see how this shakes down when lockdown is finally lifted - it has been a revelation how self sufficient and happy we are as a couple hardly leaving our wee village.

Absolutely not. My DH wfh and I am retired so during the week I do all the dog walking and do the shopping. I also do several online groups in the evening. At the weekends we do walk together but DH runs alone and does things like go to the recycling centre and posts parcels etc. Sometimes in the evening we watch TV in separate rooms if we can't agree on a programme to watch together. We get on very well but both like our own space.

Threads like this make me really glad that we're both still able to work outside of the home!

@StillCoughingandLaughing

To be fair, there are a worrying number of people on MN who were outraged at the idea of going anywhere without their partner long before this happened. God knows what they’ll be like now.

I think the opposite. It seems sometimes to be seen as a weakness to actually even enjoy spending time with your DH.

Its more like “you actually live With your dh? I don’t know how you bear it. I’d find that so suffocating. I live on a different continent to mine and haven’t seen him since 1993 -and we get along great. You sound completely dependant on him”.

"I should add things reached a new low when he said he was going outside to check the post the other day and did I ‘want to come with him for the walk’ and I did 😂😂🙈"*
Lol OP. That really did make me laugh!!*

I love spending time with my DH but with homeschooling at the moment we seem to do everything in shifts!

Those spending more time with your partners do you have school age children at home? I’m wondering if this makes the difference or whether we are just really bad at organising our time!

@HighSpecWhistle

If I'm honest that sounds suffocating to me. I enjoy my own company and like being away from him sometimes

Absolutely this. I love my dh, he's my favourite adult in the whole world, but I do enjoy those moments where we aren't together. It's not sad, or a bad thing. Everybody needs time to themselves, or to see other people or do things. I can't be in his back pocket all the time, and I wouldn't want him in mine.

@HighSpecWhistle

If I'm honest that sounds suffocating to me. I enjoy my own company and like being away from him sometimes

Yeah. I don't understand the couples who insist on shopping together even in the middle of a pandemic. Or who can't go to a medical appointment without their partner there. It makes me wonder if one party is a bit controlling.

Dear god no, though dh and I don't work together (he works out of his business premises and I'm wfh). Even if we were both home, I don't think we would eat together during the day, unless we were eating with the dc. Usually dc eat watching tv, so I can crack on with work. We do have family lunches together on the weekends though, so I have no need to spend more time together during the week.

But I do always feel like I have a dc with me, which is true, I do. On Friday evening, I had to run to the shop to pick up something for dinner and it was such a glorious freedom to leave the house alone.

Christ no. I love him, he's my favourite person, but 1) we have to do things separately anyway as we have young DC, so when one of us goes out on evenings/weekends the other has to stay, 2) I cherish the opportunity to do my own thing of an evening sometimes, whether it's study, write, or just watch TV he doesn't like. I used to get a few evenings a week when he was out and at first I struggled when I didn't get those and couldn't take myself off for an evening writing or working on my course without guilt. Now he's started an online learning programme too and we go to our corners a few nights a week.

I'd have gone fucking bonkers ten months ago without solo walking/running. And this is after spending six solid months with him literally 24/7 when we travelled together.