Child with SEN not in school

[abitofpeace]

A good friend of mine has a child with with newly diagnosed dyslexia and autistic.

She is a SAHM and husband isn’t a keyworker. Her Dd is only 6 and struggling with all the online work, none of it is differentiated for her and her Dd is crying every day at home. Her Dd hasn’t been asked into school and friend has accepted this because she said she felt mustn’t be entitled. My friend worries about upsetting the teacher by asking.

The strange thing is that some of the keyworker children at school seem less entitled than my friends Dd. In many situations the parent is able to work from home, some are SAHM with a keyworker husband.

AIBU to ask my friend to push for a place at school for her Dd considering her barrier to learning?

I have a 6 year old with autism (year 2) and a 7 year old with moderate learning difficulties (year 3). They have both been offered places but I have declined as the 6 year old licks everything and the 7 year old wouldn't have his 1-1 at school.

My 6 year-old prefers being at home anyway as he struggles with separation from me. With my 7 year old he can't do the year 3 work so sometimes I adapt it for him and sometimes we do the year 2 work instead.

@x2boys

I am absolutely sick to the back teeth of reading that if a child has an EHCP they are entitled to a school place ,it's just not true ,my son is at a special school he has an EHCP as do all the children in his school they are all classed as vulnerable due to their complex learning disabilities but school IS NOT OPEN!and neither was it during the last lockdown either!!!!

I think most people have read this post as the child being at a mainstream school as the OP refers to keyworker/vulnerable children being in.

The closure of special schools is a travesty for children and parents. I'm not sure what the answer is but it is beyond belief that so far it is just 'stay at home and get on with it'. The fallout from this approach is huge.

YABU OP she is stay at home mum why would she send her in.

@impostersong Stop spouting absolute rubbish. I am not working at the moment but my son is at school as he has an EHCP. You are giving out incorrect information so please stop it!

Lots of people on this thread who haven’t a bloody clue about it SN/SEN.

Please encourage her to ask about a place. Routine is really important for children with autism and even though she’s a SAHM, I’m sure it’s incredibly difficult for her, too.

Don’t be taken in by people trying to guilt trip you. Lots of people have took the piss regarding the whole key worker thing. Honestly, in my experience, anyone telling you that you shouldn’t is simply bitter because they haven’t got an “excuse” to do the same.

She needs to talk to the school. They need to be doing much more to support the family than fucking Twinkl worksheets - even if it's at the level of increasing school contact with the child via phone or whatever.

My youngest went back last lockdown as she was just mentally disintegrating and had lost lots of her language (which is delayed anyway) - school were very obstructive to start with, but once the class teacher spoke to DD on the phone and heard how her speech had deteriorated - they had her back with a school place very quickly.

I'm staggered that she's managed to get a diagnosis and an EHCP but is too scared to ask school for a place.
If it's a mainstream school that's open and her dd has an EHCP then the SENCO should have been in touch to check whether the dd needs a place.

As your friend’s a SAHM I think she’s struggle to get a school place. If her DD’s struggling at home with 1:1 tuition would she not struggle just as much or more at school?

Remember some of the kids in school may be there because they’re vulnerable, not just because of a keyworker parent.

Some schools also prioritise children who have an NHS keyworker parent who can’t work from home.

@MissMarpleDarling

YABU OP she is stay at home mum why would she send her in.

Because for some families even with a SAH parent this will be the best option. None of us know the situation but for a child to have been diagnosed with autism and dyslexia by the age of 6 she must have significant problems associated with both.

There needs to be a conversation between the parents and school and a plan for what is best in this situation put together

@HikeForward
As your friend’s a SAHM I think she’s struggle to get a school place.

Once again, totally incorrect information. I’m a SAHM as no work for me at the moment in my industry, but my son goes in to school with an EHCP.

news.sky.com/story/covid-19-families-with-sen-children-unable-to-go-to-school-are-falling-through-the-gaps-in-lockdown-12193536?fbclid=IwAR2B2vgSUi8YgtDHaZ8CvnMAdVDZE3v8_gtApiPwgTAkpTo7uNVBK14uAEw

My kids with echp are in school (primary). Middle child self harmed at thought of not going to school.

People are forgetting that the lack of routine for some children with SEND can cause them to deteriorate further. So it's a no win situation really, all therapies have either stopped or on a skeleton service. Some parents are really struggling to manage the lack of education provision and the SEND.

Please get your friend to speak to the school.
If the dd has an ehcp she should be entitled to a place since the school is open.
Please don’t listen to the people saying that since she’s a SAHM she shouldn’t get a place.
Things are often more complex when there’s sen involved. It’s not as black and white as some people seem to think.

My nephew is dyslexic and school are taking him 2 days a week. He is very severe and is catching up and being off (my sister is dyslexic) so needs school time. I think it’s reasonable for him to go as not going would adversely affect his education. Your friend either needs to ask for him to go in or request alternative work specific to him.

My son is sen also however he is managing at home to an extent we struggle with lack of routines etc despite trying to make them at home, as he sees school work as for school not for home so it can be stressful trying to get him to do anything. But he’s quite happy at home, he’s bright and won’t fall behind so he’s at home despite both parents being cat 1 key workers so he could go in. I don’t think it’s about some kids being less or more entitled than others it depends on the school I think. He’s entitled to get work that he is able to do and at his level school should be trying to support that at the least.

Remember some of the kids in school may be there because they’re vulnerable

A child with an EHCP is classed as vulnerable.

I'm assuming school know about the recent diagnosis?
She needs to get past the concept of being grabby or wrong if her child is vulnerable and in school.
But she also needs to woman up and talk to school not wait for them to be omniscient and sort things out.
Child can't cope with level of work set. Then talk to school - ask for appropriate work. They will have this.
Child not coping with lack of routine and being distressed. Talk to school - see if school will class as vulnerable.
Or simply have the self confidence to do as much work as child can cope happily with and ignore the rest.
Sounds like the mum is overwhelmed, under confident and scared of people who will judge. Definitely tell her to not give a stuff about anyone who thinks being a sahm is relevant here.

@x2boys

I am absolutely sick to the back teeth of reading that if a child has an EHCP they are entitled to a school place ,it's just not true ,my son is at a special school he has an EHCP as do all the children in his school they are all classed as vulnerable due to their complex learning disabilities but school IS NOT OPEN!and neither was it during the last lockdown either!!!!

But we aren't talking about a special needs school. We are talking about a mainstream school where EHCPs do count as being vulnerable.

The child might count as vulnerable but they really are sometimes better off at home. Your friend should try to speak to the teacher for advice or support to be able to homeschool first of all. If the teacher doesn’t know there is a struggle, then they cannot help in the first instance.

"But we aren't talking about a special needs school. We are talking about a mainstream school where EHCPs do count as being vulnerable."

That's a bit Animal Farm, isn't it? "All EHCPs make them vulnerable, but some more vulnerable than others..."

DD1 is 15. She is barely able to read (can read some key words and can have a bash at sounding out words if they seem familiar), can barely write (can write words, but gets absolutely exhausted doing it and can't spell), can't look after herself (no appropriate danger awareness, won't do what is expected of her) and can't judge the intentions of strangers. But, hey, she goes to a special school (which is only allowed if a mainstream school can't meet needs) so the fact that she has an EHCP doesn't make her vulnerable, she's just one of the crowd....

There are so many kids more vulnerable than DD1 who also have no place at school right now. But hey, they go to special school and we're not talking about that. We're talking about a mainstream child. Righto

Indeed @Lougle let's just forget about the most vunerable kids clearly they don't matter

I agree with you both that it is disgraceful children at special schools are being denied the support set out in their EHCPs and that they are being denied any semblance of a normal education. Disabled children and their families have been completely forgotten about during this pandemic and that's really saying something considering they were already bottom of the consideration list. I have two disabled children, I get it, I really do.

But this particular discussion is about a child with an EHCP who attends a mainstream school and whether or not that school should be offering her a place. For this individual child and her circumstances, school should be offering her a place because she is classed as vulnerable which makes her a priority. That fact doesn't mean no one cares about children in special schools. It is about an individual child with an EHCP, not all children with an EHCP.

If children with ehcps don’t have a school open/or a place at their school open you need to ask for an immediate review and gain access to their ehcps funds.

Both of mine have ehcps and are currently in part this time. But before all of this one had extreme school refusal due to severe anxiety (as in panic attacks requiring ambulance to be called regularly, including serious unintended self injury, not oh I feel a bit wobbly). We refused to withdraw her, first ehcp review that addressed this agreed we could access her funds. Then this hit so we never did. But they agreed first review that we could use them to pay tutors/private riding lessons/home Ed classes and so on. She is an extreme case, but legally anyone should be able to do this. The ehcp states this is your child’s needs, so that funding is there. You could look into spending it on online tutors, online classes/groups, virtual school (there are a few that existed before all this happened anyways- we’d looked into it), online therapy to meet the emotional needs part of the ehcp. None of these my child could access at home, but yours might. That money is sitting there allocated for your child- do whatever you can to access it.

Yes, she should. DC has an EHCP and school are clear they can have a place at any time. We've opted to try and cope at home with 121 teaching sessions online with school at regular intervals. We're surviving - it's taking a big toll on us but DC is managing almost alright. In your friend's situation I wouldn't hesitate to send them in.