AIBU to be absolutely furious inside?

[Quietlyseethingonthesofa]

NC for this as potentially outing.

DP has 2 kids, one young adult one late teens. DP goes over to his exw there to see them - I have no issues with this and they are great kids. On Thursday dp went into the house to help with some stuff and see his kids. Exw tested positive for covid today.

Turns out she told him that she had lost her sense of smell but believed she had a sinus infection. Dp decided it was sinus infection and goes in. He is self employed so there will now be no income for the next week. Maybe longer.

I have been so careful. I am at risk, not clinically shielded but high risk and group 6 for vaccines. I don't want covid. I don't want my kids to have covid.

I am fucking furious. What the fuck was he thinking?

I haven't said anything....its late and I'm tired...but am I wrong to be so angry inside? She told him he decided instead of waiting for her to have the test he would go in anyway.

Yeah that was a silly risk. My friend lost her sense of smell. It happens to her fairly often with sinus infections and she was pretty sure that's what it was but stayed at home to be safe. Turns out a close contact had covid and when she was tested it was positive too. It's always more convenient to believe that 'it's just this' or 'it won't be covid' but you don't take the risk.

I'd be pissed off too - there are only 3 symptoms that you need to test for so bloody well test if you get one of them, it's not like there haven't been signs up everywhere for the best part of the last year.

Someone in my family (not my household) did similar - had a symptom but decided it was because of the flu. The notion of testing seemed never to even flicker across their wee brain before they went and mixed with my elderly parents.

When it comes down to it it's far harder to organise a test and anticipate isolating etc from one symptom rather than just 'justify' it away, but that's what we have to do and why we're in this shitty state, because no-one really wants to be inconvenienced.

Is he sharing a living space with you or is he isolating at exw's?

He has to isolate for 10 days now

And if he has symptoms, he has to get a test and isolate for a further 10 days.
If his positive, the whole house has to isolate for 10 days

Sorry, misread it that he had tested positive as well.

Thank you all for your replies.

He lives with me we've lived together around 8 years now. And yeah he will be isolating...we only found out her test results this evening.

@JengaJanga

And if he has symptoms, he has to get a test and isolate for a further 10 days. If his positive, the whole house has to isolate for 10 days

Yeah I know! I wfh have no issues isolating barely been anywhere since last march! But if we lose his income even for a couple of weeks we are screwed. We have barely made it through this up to now.

Like a pp said....there are only three symptoms to watch out for and we've known about them the best part of a year. What was he thinking?

YANBU but I also think you are doing the right thing by keeping a lid on it.

His kids have a right to see him, and with kids allowed to move between both their parents' houses you are essentially in a bubble with his exw's household anyway but it would have been far more sensible to be more cautious. It's not that difficult - fever, cough, loss of taste or smell. I hope he is being more responsible now and self-isolating from you guys.

There really isnt only 3 symptoms to look out for but lose of taste and smell is a common one!

Symptoms : Cough, loss of smell and taste, temperature, headache, sore throat, rash, red eyes, chest pain, diarrhoea, aches, pains, tiredness, and lots more too

@Murmurur

YANBU but I also think you are doing the right thing by keeping a lid on it.

His kids have a right to see him, and with kids allowed to move between both their parents' houses you are essentially in a bubble with his exw's household anyway but it would have been far more sensible to be more cautious. It's not that difficult - fever, cough, loss of taste or smell. I hope he is being more responsible now and self-isolating from you guys.

Thank you...yeah we have seen his kids home as part of ours throughout this. She has been really careful as have his kids...they are all really sensible....so its him I am cross with. Not said anything and I won't cos what is done is done but still .....

@JengaJanga

There really isnt only 3 symptoms to look out for but lose of taste and smell is a common one!

Symptoms : Cough, loss of smell and taste, temperature, headache, sore throat, rash, red eyes, chest pain, diarrhoea, aches, pains, tiredness, and lots more too

Three official symptoms to warrant a test

-loss of sense of taste or smell

• high temp
• persistent new cough

The others may be symptoms but aren't on the official testing list.

I think furious is a bit OTT.

We are currently isolating. (Day 2) My colleague (teacher) and two parents tested positive last week, so I decided to get a test on Wednesday. DH also decided to go, despite him WFH, as he had vomited and felt a little under the weather. He thought it was seasonal sniffles.

I was negative. He was positive.

Bit of a shock, as he has been super careful, but honestly... I would save my energy for something else. Like entertaining the DC who are pretty worried about their DF having the virus.

Being furious won't change anything.

If you are sensible, ANY symptom should warrant a test!!!!

I know lots of people with covid, and very very few have had the 3 ‘top’ symptoms

Hopefully the government will put more symptoms on there for people to be tested, because its not rocket science.

Theres now plenty of tests

@moanieleminx

I think furious is a bit OTT.

We are currently isolating. (Day 2) My colleague (teacher) and two parents tested positive last week, so I decided to get a test on Wednesday. DH also decided to go, despite him WFH, as he had vomited and felt a little under the weather. He thought it was seasonal sniffles.

I was negative. He was positive.

Bit of a shock, as he has been super careful, but honestly... I would save my energy for something else. Like entertaining the DC who are pretty worried about their DF having the virus.

Being furious won't change anything.

Thank you for your comments but a little unwarranted....why would you think I don't care about the kids? Why do you think I'm venting on here instead of at him? And it is their mum who tested positive and I have told him he needs to support them. And yeah I am furious because I have been through a hell of a lot over the last year supporting him and his business so he keeps it afloat. And now I have to work out a way to get through this. Because he didn't think.

@JengaJanga

If you are sensible, ANY symptom should warrant a test!!!!

Yes I know however the point here is....she did have one of the top three! So it didn't need detective work to decide what to do for the best!

YANBU

Are the government operating any kind of payments for people who need to self isolate? Especially if your DP is self employed? I thought there was some kind of payment scheme but I could be wrong.

@Murmurur DP’s children are an adult and a late teen they are more than old enough to understand that their dad can’t come into the house because mum has COVID symptoms so the right to see their father doesn’t apply

@Disneyforever1974 Agreed of course they should see their dad but not wile a member of the household has covid symptoms. Just wait a few days for her test to come back and zoom in the mean time.

Not said anything and I won't cos what is done is done but still

You've not said anything? When he knowingly took a stupid risk that now affects you and his business? Why the hell not?

I'd be giving him hell, and so should you.

Thank you for your comments but a little unwarranted....why would you think I don't care about the kids? Why do you think I'm venting on here instead of at him?

??? I never said that.

I do hope that you can get some sleep and that you will feel better in the morning.

@saraclara

Not said anything and I won't cos what is done is done but still

You've not said anything? When he knowingly took a stupid risk that now affects you and his business? Why the hell not?

I'd be giving him hell, and so should you.

Well, I have said something but not told him the full extent of my frustration at this! It was just a stupid unnecessary risk....I just don't understand!

@moanieleminx

Thank you for your comments but a little unwarranted....why would you think I don't care about the kids? Why do you think I'm venting on here instead of at him?

??? I never said that.

I do hope that you can get some sleep and that you will feel better in the morning.

I'm sorry if I misread your post....I was tired and cross! Thank you for your comments.

As ex W has tested positive she will be sent a link to complete the test and trace questions. Ensure she names your Dh as a contact. He will then be notified that he has to self isolate and given as an 8 digit reference number - generally a mix of numbers and letters. He can then go to your local council website and fill in form to claim £500 self isolation support payment.
The autocomplete link may only stay live for a certain amount of time so if she misses that she must listen out for a phone call from national test and trace and answer their questions.