AIBU to be absolutely furious inside?

[Quietlyseethingonthesofa]

NC for this as potentially outing.

DP has 2 kids, one young adult one late teens. DP goes over to his exw there to see them - I have no issues with this and they are great kids. On Thursday dp went into the house to help with some stuff and see his kids. Exw tested positive for covid today.

Turns out she told him that she had lost her sense of smell but believed she had a sinus infection. Dp decided it was sinus infection and goes in. He is self employed so there will now be no income for the next week. Maybe longer.

I have been so careful. I am at risk, not clinically shielded but high risk and group 6 for vaccines. I don't want covid. I don't want my kids to have covid.

I am fucking furious. What the fuck was he thinking?

I haven't said anything....its late and I'm tired...but am I wrong to be so angry inside? She told him he decided instead of waiting for her to have the test he would go in anyway.

Your local council has probably set up local later flow testing sites. Anyone can attend for a test they don't need to be symptomatic. They do need to be booked in advance - google local council name and lateral flow test. Results will be available in 30 minutes.
Finally, make preparations for what to do if you do need to self isolate, shopping, plenty of paracetamol etc. If you do become ill monitor and keep a diary of your symptoms, it worth buying a pulse oximeter.
I hope everything is OK.

I completely disagree that his kids have a 'right to see him' meaning you can't tell him how angry you are. Sorry but what utter tosh. These are not small kids, they are an adult and a teen. Perfectly old enough to understand that when someone in the house has symptoms, you wait until a test result is received. Even if it were small children, I'd still think the same should apply and be explained to them as best possible. Even if it causes some upset, it's better than potentially spreading Covid across two houses ffs. I'm sorry but sometimes things really do have to come before seeing your kids for the day.

You should tell him how angry you are OP. He was a fucking idiot and it's not OTT to be furious as this now affects you and his business and your financial situation. For the sake of popping in his exWs house and not just bloody waiting.

We are all having to make sacrifices and not see certain people at certain times. My own DH can't see his young children at the moment because their mum has tested positive, and they are much younger than your DSC. It's shit. It's upsetting for them (and DH obviously) but it's absolutely the right thing to do.

A lot of local councils have set up local contact tracing services. They will ring people who have not completed contact tracing with the national test and trace. So if Ex W does not hear from national team with 72 hours of test result it's worth a call to her
Council to see if they do the contact tracing. As soon as she gives your DPs contact details he will receive text or email with the reference number for the application.

Remember that his isolation period starts from his contact with her, so 10 days from Thursday unless he develops symptoms and tests positive of course.

They were both daft (her for inviting him in, him for gojng in) but, you know, denial is a powerful thing. I'm not surprised they did it.

The problem is the fact you are now facing 10 days with no financial support.

I'd centre your anger there.

The lack of financial support is, frankly, a powerful driver for people doing the denial thing. Deep down, they're worried about losing money and it just makes people do somewhat irrational things.

And then, of course, you end up having to isolate - and that's terrible, and worrying if you have no money.

Or you end up positive, and have no money.

Honestly, the lack of financial support is where I'd focus.

Don't shout at him - it's pointless and will do neither of you any good.

If you need to vent, send an email to your MP saying there really needs to be better financial support because it's driving transmission in all sorts of ways + people just can't manage.

You'll feel a lot better - and it may even do some good. 🤷‍♀️

(And I really get what you're saying. I'd be spinning. And I've also had to isolate - when I knew I was negative - and lost money. It's just awful.
Other countries encourage testing, even without symptoms, ask for isolation before test results, but crucially pay people while isolating. Can you imagine the difference that would make to your stress-levels now? And how it would encourage people not to go into denial & this decrease transmission?)