DH still socialising with friends

[mumontherun14]

Aibu- I am annoyed with DH as today he has gone into his friends house to watch a football game even though we are not supposed to be going into peoples houses. It’s now turned into a bit of a drinking session with him & 2 other couples .
I’ve got my elderly mum in our bubble & she is in good health but awaiting her Covid injection. My sister & brother are militant about the no socialising or mixing and it’s making me feel really uneasy.
These friends have been socialising a bit together over the lockdown time as they live in same street & both have young kids the same age. I’ve got older teens & just feel it’s not a great example to them to break the rules. The friends work at home & haven’t really seen any one else so it’s a bit like they are all one bubble & they don’t have anyone older in their bubble so it’s their choice but just feel DH is putting my DM at risk a bit. She is also still going to the shops most days and refuses to isolate completely so DH argues she’s as much at risk going to the shops. They have asked me to come over & ive said no but I know it’s going to turn into a party. as they are all big drinkers/socialisers (inc DH) and we’re going to end up having a row. My DDad passed away in care home with Covid in June so know I’m probably very sensitive & I really like his friends they are lovely and a lot of fun we go out together a lot normally it’s just this socialising is making me so uneasy. X

I'd be livid and if he won't listen to reason, I'd be anonymously reporting the gathering to put a stop to it. Selfish and arrogant (rules aren't for us because we know what we're doing and can assess risk better than scientists) and particularly tone deaf give your loss of your father to this virus.

I'm really sorry for your loss op

This would fuck me right off. Sorry your DH sounds like a selfish, inconsiderate prick.

Have you asked him how he'll feel if he gives her Covid?

A lot of (most?) people have not socialised with our friends or families since March last year, much as we would have loved to. This lockdown is going to last into summer and beyond thanks to selfish idiots like this.
I don't understand how anyone can still be so irresponsible after nearly a year of this shit. Its just appalling.

This one is simple - they're all selfish twats! 100%. No excuses for having a f@cking party right now. Your husband is a dick.

I’m not the COVID police but I’d be tempted to report them to teach him a lesson.
I can’t believe people are still doing this sort of thing. No ones loving being at home all the time but you just do it for the sake of everyone else don’t you.
The fact your dad died of it makes it even more shocking.

I’d totally report them. It’s selfish idiotic behaviour like this that means the rest of us are isolated for longer. I’d be going ape and would not see my DH in the same light again. I’d have lost respect.
I’m sorry about your Dad.

He’s a weak man. He’s given into peer pressure.
I am so sorry about your Dad.
You stay strong and keep your Mum away for 10 days. Once your husband sobers up tell him how utterly selfish and weak he has been.

Sorry about your dad op your dh is a selfish dick, especially after losing your dad to covid. He doesn't come across great, I would've gone apeshit at dh tbh

@mumontherun14

My DM has been a bit of a handful as well in this. She is 82 lives on her own still drives good health very independent & does not like at all to be told what to do ye& feels very isolated with the restrictions . I have cooked, dropped shopping off& then she will still go to local shops. It’s her daily routine & she hates to alter it. My brother laid down the law a bit to her this week & she has given her word to stay in till she gets the vaccine & the 2 weeks after x

A handful? Why do you and your brother infantilize your Mum?

Give him a sleeping bag and tell him to isolate in the garage (or shed) for 10 days.

This is totally not on. I would tell him you are going to report him to the police if he does it again or say he is not welcome to come home. People like that are the reason this virus won't go away and so many are dying.

The only way we are going to get our old lives back is is people stick to the rules and we sit tight until enough people are vaccinated and hospital cases go down. Selfish beyond words.

I’m very sorry about your dad. You DH is being a total prick knowing that and the risk to your mum! It’ll be 3 weeks before she gets some benefits and she needs the second dose, the vaccine doesn’t stop her catching it but will helpfully reduce the illness.
I would be tempted to not let him back in the house, but I know that’s not possible in the real world.

He's being an absolute prick. Can you go stay with your mother for a few weeks until she's been vaccinated or he has isolated for long enough to be safe? It might teach him a lesson. He's really taking a shitty risk and putting himself and his family in danger. Last night I watched an Irish programme on which a woman was interviewed, her husband was just over a week dead, his funeral was a few days ago, he was a fit healthy 50 year old with no underlying health issues who tested covid positive on Dec 26th, he had been really careful but still ended up with the virus, his wife and children are now facing life without him, your husband is potentially leaving you in the same position

Your DH is a prized bell-end.

Thanks for the posts I will speak to him today. He is not a bad person & follows the rules 99% of the time he is just easily led & persuaded by this particular group who seem to normalise it even though none of our other family or friends are meeting up. It’s not every week but maybe once a month or so when they all need a blow out. I didn’t report them as they are my friends as well and I think there are other ways to deal with but I was very tempted as I think that’s what they need to stop. I would just worry they would know it was me. I would hope we don’t infantilise DM we are just trying to e careful of her but she herself has not even keen on following rules either at times and was trying to go between my house and my sisters until my sister said no. Also she will not stop going out to the shops each day no matter how much we have asked her & offered to take shopping dinners etc. My brother tried to speak to her more firmly to get her to stay in till she gets vaccine on Tuesday then for 2 weeks after and it did seem to work as she seems to listen to him more than me x

He’s absolute scum

Your idiotic husband is part of the reason we’re in this mess. If he catches it from them and passes it on - all of you will catch it, including your mum. Surely he won’t die just giving up socialising for a bit?! Zoom meet or something! Jesus.

As a note the vaccine only starts skicking in at 2/3 weeks, also only one dose is part protection. I’ve just read an article on elderly still catching and getting very sick 2/3 weeks after their jab. So she needs to be careful and not think she is immune cos she won’t be. Obviously she is an adult and that would be her decision in the end though but might be worth reinforcing.

As for your husband ... after your dad dying from this I would be furious if I was you. So many people are giving things up and losing businesses/jobs never mind family right now. But they think it’s ok to socialise inside when cases are so high with a variant that’s more contagious and is causing more deaths. Mind boggles at peoples selfishness right now.

We’ve not been able to socialise inside since July/August in greater Manchester when cases were under 50 per 100,000. We’ve had to get on with it.

Out of interest, how are you going deal with it if you’re not reporting them for breaking the rules.
They all sound like right twats.

Your DH is a massive test.I’d be telling him to move in with his mates until this is over.

I honestly would not let my partner back in the house if he did this. Every time he does this or similar, tell him he has to isolate alone for 10 days. If he doesn't, he doesn't come home.
I am vulnerable and a frontline worker and am scared for mine and my family's health every single day.
Then I read about selfish arseholes like your husband and it makes me furious.

I’m going to speak to him today & he won’t be going the next time. As DM will now be staying in for the next 2-3 weeks we won’t be in contact with her apart from dropping shopping off at the door and I call her every day. I’m going to show him these messages as well x

Make it very clear that if he goes again, the police will be notified straight away. And be prepared 100% to do that, no backing down.

And if he's a Newcastle fan remind him that they will probably be playing Sunderland next season given how poor the Magpies are.

I’m going to speak to him today & he won’t be going the next time.

Was that your plan last time, too, when they started in a gazebo but quickly moved inside because they were cold ?

What's your plan for next time ?