To send back stuff I dont need to ex's Mum

[sassysuspenders]

I'm pregnant with my first DS as mentioned before in another post and my ex's Mum has sent me pushchair, baby clothes and other stuff I dont need. This woman was rude and a huge twat to me (pardon my language) when I was with her Son for four years straight and now all of a sudden she wants to be my best friend.

My brain is too tired to deal with her crap and I've stewed over her motives all day long. She's not made any move for six months to come to scans or appointments even though I've offered plenty of chances, she thinks baby is a girl and the doctors are wrong about the Gender, all the clothes I've got from her are pink.

Would I be unreasonable to send it all back with a "No thank you" note. I was given lots of lovely gender neutral clothes and second hand crib and pram by neighbours, all in good condition and I bought some myself too.

Im sorry if I'm not making sense, it's almost 1 AM and I'm staring at all these clothes around me whilst fuming

Send them back - you have no use of them and I’m going to guess she’ll use them as some form of leverage when the baby arrives.

@BluebellsGreenbells apparently it was her way of an "apology" for calling me all sorts of nasty names to my face and behind my back. I've packed everything up and told her to come collect it in the morning. I'm keeping all the curtains shut and ignoring her

Don't put the price of sending them back on you, tell her they will be on your doorstep on X day at X time.

If she says that doesn't suit say you will hold for a further seven days for collection at time that suits you , and then if that doesn't work you will be donating to charity.

Send them back. Don't feel bad for it. It sounds like she's trying to buy access to her future grandchild.

@PleaseLetItBeNapTime That's the thing, she doesn't want a relationship. She's told me many times. Im not sure of her motives at all, maybe it's just some ploy to make herself look like Grandma of the year

@FinallyFluid - I've left her a message telling her to pick up the clothes and pram along with the other bits and pieces in the morning. So fingers crossed she'll get it. Although she'll probably delete and say she never got it just to be THAT person

Sell them, put the money towards your baby.

If you don't feel you can do that, give them to a charity, but you might have to put up with them a bit longer in your place

If she doesn’t want anything to do with the gc my other thought would be she’ll try to make you look bad by saying you won’t let her see gc, you sent everything back.
She’s plotting something.

She's trying to back you into a loose-loose scenario. You'll be indebt to her if you keep them, you'll be ungrateful if you dont. personally I wouldn't want her to have anything to hold over me. You're picking the best option by returning them as you already have the things you need and won't her son need all these things for when he is doing his share of parenting?

If she won't collect I would ask a friend if they would mind returning her 'gifts'. I'd do it for a friend. I hate manipulators

Lose-lose...thank you autocorrect

Update.

Clothes, dummies and bottles are still on my front porch in a box - They're being sold, Pram and Crib I might keep as you never know what may happen. I told her this and she said "That's a shame. Baby girl would look lovely in those clothes" When I told her baby's a boy she said "Oh dont be silly, look at the way you're carrying"

Then she got upset because I dared to correct her when I told her that baby is most definitely a boy, and that I dont buy into that superstitious crap 🙄

Sorry, do you know from a scan that the baby’s a boy and she’s still insisting he’s a girl?

Weird.

Tell her to collect the stuff and have no further contact.

@Winterwoollies - I've had a scan done. I was going to keep it a surprise but the nurse who did my scan accidentally told me, bless her heart. He's most definitely a boy, and ex future MIL is insisting he's a girl.

She's said she's not collecting any of it. So I'm selling it

She did it so she can tell others she helped.
Hope she keeps her drama out of your lives in future
Congratulations on your son

She sounds mental. I wouldn't have been offering her to come to any of my scans or appointments. Are you with the babies dad? What does he think of his others behaviour?

@Laserbird16

She's trying to back you into a loose-loose scenario. You'll be indebt to her if you keep them, you'll be ungrateful if you dont. personally I wouldn't want her to have anything to hold over me. You're picking the best option by returning them as you already have the things you need and won't her son need all these things for when he is doing his share of parenting?

If she won't collect I would ask a friend if they would mind returning her 'gifts'. I'd do it for a friend. I hate manipulators

My ex has also told me he doesn't want contact despite trying to tell me how to name my child. He's made his bed - He can lie in it

Also I'm not comfortable with gendered clothing, some of the things you see written on baby clothes unnerve me. I much prefer neutral clothes that can be worn by both genders. It's less fuss when you need to pass clothes on. We make such a big deal out of gendered clothing that we dont realise they only wear them for five seconds then they grow out of them

She's told me she doesn't want them back so I'm selling them and putting the money towards baby boy when he arrives in April

Then she got upset because I dared to correct her when I told her that baby is most definitely a boy, and that I dont buy into that superstitious crap
Why engage?
Just stick to the issue.

Why are you allowing her to be so involved? Just block her. Sell everything, block and move on. No one has a right to your baby and this drama isn't needed

[quote sassysuspenders]@Winterwoollies - I've had a scan done. I was going to keep it a surprise but the nurse who did my scan accidentally told me, bless her heart. He's most definitely a boy, and ex future MIL is insisting he's a girl.

She's said she's not collecting any of it. So I'm selling it[/quote]
Good on you. She sounds like a nightmare.

If the cot and buggy are new id keep them tbh. But definitely sell anything you don't want or have no use for.

Just sell all of it. The pram and stuff will be new so you can make some money on that.

From now on though, block her and the 'father' and forget about them. They aren't worth the hassle.

How infuriating! Surely she could either give you some money to get what you need or ask what you need? This is clearly a power play but it is a waste of money.

She needs to understand that your baby is exactly that ... yours and you will dress/raise him as you see fit!

Congratulations!

You've got an amazing attitude to this, well done for not being bullied by you ex or mil

Its so weird that she's insisting the baby is a girl and buying girls clothes, what a waste of money 🤦‍♀️

How has he told you how to name the baby? After him? 😂

She sounds like the type who will suddenly kick off, demanding it back. Have you told her via text/email that if she won't accept it back, she has abandoned it and you will sell it.

@Cuntitinthebin

How has he told you how to name the baby? After him? 😂

'Ah, look, there's @sassysuspenders with her new baby ' 'Isn't she looking well? What did she call the baby?' Erm, oh something unusual. Oh yes, he's called knob-head' 'That is unusual, family name?' 'Yes. I think he's named after his dad'