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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

If you can’t say anything nice.....

36 replies

Catty1720 · 19/01/2021 21:54

I joined mumsnet when I was 4 months pregnant so about a year ago.
My first few posts where baby advice and everyone was lovely.
I come on most days and have a read of the aibu threads.
What’s going on!! Some of the comments are shocking. Women just tearing into women. Making unfair assumptions and little snide remarks. This isn’t everyone and maybe it’s how I read things maybe some of my comments have come across wrong.
Is this the real mumsnet?? is lockdown pushing us over the edge?? or Is it just me????

OP posts:
piglet81 · 19/01/2021 21:57

Many people are very stressed and unhappy at the moment and it brings out the worst in some of them...

oliveoilandcheese · 19/01/2021 21:57

It's super harsh. People are willing to tear into each other very very easily. It's a pretty horrible place to be honest.

EcoCustard · 19/01/2021 22:07

It’s mean and getting meaner. However life is shite for many and people are angry, stressed etc and taking it out on strangers on the internet. I also feel that it will only worsen as there seems to be so many disparities, some can work, some are not allowed to work due to enforced closures, some kids at school, some not it goes on. And yes there is a global pandemic on but it’s affecting people in different ways causing division and misery. Just my take on it though before anyone rips into me. Smile

Original poster
Catty1720 · 19/01/2021 22:09

I think that’s exactly it everyone of us is living through a pandemic but that’s where the similarities stop because it’s affected everyone so differently.
I was worried about starting the thread as I understand people’s emotions at this time but so far it’s been lovely

OP posts:
purpleboy · 19/01/2021 22:21

Maybe stay away from certain boards, I'm sure there are people here just waiting for someone to pick a fight with.
There are many supportive areas on MN, but it is a shame to see how quickly people turn nasty, for no reason at all.
I don't buy the we are stressed excuse, plenty of people are going through shit times but don't rip each other apart for no reason.

ghostyslovesheets · 19/01/2021 22:27

I don’t see it that much - I do see people over reacting and getting arsey when their post doesn’t go as they hopped and lots of familiar goady threads but generally I find people on here fair but firm

Greenygrape · 19/01/2021 22:31

Yabu. Some parts of Mumsnet are nicer than others, but Mumsnet is one place women can voice their opinions without being shouted down by angry men who hate women. Surely it's good there's somewhere for angry women.

Original poster
Catty1720 · 19/01/2021 22:36

Theres a difference between voicing your opinion however angrily and being nasty for the sake of it. But don’t get me wrong I love mumsnet I wouldn’t post if I wasn’t open to opinions or debating opinions

OP posts:
misskatamari · 20/01/2021 09:30

Yanbu. Some of the boards are absolutely lovely, and people are so supportive and kind. AIBU really does bring out the nastiness in some people though. I totally agree that you can disagree with someone yet still be polite about it. Some people just totally take things out of context, and attack OPs for things they often haven't even said. It's horrible. It's been this way as long as I remember, and I've been here 8+ years now. Some people are just dicks when they're behind a computer/smart phone screen, and seem to forget that empathy exists, and it's okay to have it

HOkieCOkie · 20/01/2021 09:42

It’s just keyboard warriors, none of these ppl would say half the nasty shit they do if the person was sat in front of them. Just ignore it. Or join Netmums your not allowed to swear on there.

Macncheeseballs · 20/01/2021 09:43

Theres plenty of good stuff to, I'm afraid you're just focusing on the bad.

Macncheeseballs · 20/01/2021 09:44

*too

Original poster
Catty1720 · 20/01/2021 09:49

I’m not just focusing on the bad I did say that there’s a lot of lovely comments there’s been some awful threads on about grief and affairs and the support shown has been amazing. I’m just noticing more of the nastier comments maybe or maybe I’m softer than I thought I was 🤔

OP posts:
SmileyClare · 20/01/2021 09:50

is this the real mumsnet? yes. There are some lovely supportive kind areas in moments but AIBU is the blood sport arena.

AIBU threads have always been like that. You should only post a question there if you have the hide of a rhino.

Hotzenplotz · 20/01/2021 09:52

A friend of mine used to say "If you can't say anything nice, blow it out your arse."

Mrgrinch · 20/01/2021 09:52

This thread has been done several times lately and to be honest it's boring. If you want something different then go elsewhere.

Original poster
Catty1720 · 20/01/2021 09:56

I definitely have the arse just maybe not the hide of a rhino 🤣

OP posts:
ZaraW · 20/01/2021 10:05

If you don't like it don't you don't have to be on here.

grapewine · 20/01/2021 10:07

@Mrgrinch

This thread has been done several times lately and to be honest it's boring. If you want something different then go elsewhere.
Every week.
Original poster
Catty1720 · 20/01/2021 10:09

@ZaraW

If you don't like it don't you don't have to be on here.
Completely agree I’ve never had any issues personally. I wouldn’t be on here or post on here if I thought what someone would say would upset me I was Just curious really to see what others thought
OP posts:
Original poster
Catty1720 · 20/01/2021 10:09

@Mrgrinch

This thread has been done several times lately and to be honest it's boring. If you want something different then go elsewhere.
Well if it’s boring for you don’t read it
OP posts:
MirandaMarple · 20/01/2021 10:11

YANBU

It's not very nice place at all. It was like this well before 2020 too.

GoodnightKevin · 20/01/2021 10:15

I get the impression that it's like a cathartic release for some people - they spend their lives towing the line and being polite and decent in real life, but everyone needs to release their inner arsehole every now and then so they do it online under the blanket of anonymity. That and the fact that some are just genuine arseholes.

SmileyClare · 20/01/2021 10:19

Yeah just don't post on AIBU is my advice Smile

It really should be renamed as Tell me I'm unreasonable and give me a kicking, gloves off, let's have it

oliveoilandcheese · 20/01/2021 10:20

OP:

Mrgrinch
This thread has been done several times lately and to be honest it's boring. If you want something different then go elsewhere.

Case and point of your entire thread right ? Why even comment ? It's just nasty. If I don't like a thread I don't even click or comment.

Swipe left for the next trending thread