If you can’t say anything nice.....

[Catty1720]

I joined mumsnet when I was 4 months pregnant so about a year ago.
My first few posts where baby advice and everyone was lovely.
I come on most days and have a read of the aibu threads.
What’s going on!! Some of the comments are shocking. Women just tearing into women. Making unfair assumptions and little snide remarks. This isn’t everyone and maybe it’s how I read things maybe some of my comments have come across wrong.
Is this the real mumsnet?? is lockdown pushing us over the edge?? or Is it just me????

Exactly. My thread is boring in your opinion and that’s fine and I’m sure it has been done a million times so don’t read it. Why do you need to then tell me it’s boring🙄

There's a lot of keyboards warriors total fucking arseholes on all forms of social media, alas. Sorry it's getting you down, OP. Try and focus on the nice guys out there.

Definitely not just you.

I am new here and am really shocked at the pendantic, nasty vindictiveness that lurks on a lot of threads. I honestly think some people get a kick out of being horrible to others online under the cloak of anonymity. Maybe they can’t do it in real life so it’s an outlet.....

AIBU is brutal. I've never posted an op in there. I've commented on some of them, i'm wary of what I post in AIBU. The dog house can also be a bit weird sometimes. Fun to read tho.

Sometimes it's just because people are arseholes. Additionally, it's a very divided time politically and, with coronavirus, people are probably more irate than usual. They've lost their jobs or they've had their pay frozen. Some have lost family members, others have elderly relatives or disabled children in care homes, who they've been unable to see. There are massively varying degrees of awful but it's not a great time for anyone here.

That said, sometimes the OP is obviously trolling and people who've been here longer will be able to spot it.
And some OPs are probably genuine but lacking any sort of self awareness and then seem surprised when they get a shitty reception on here. It isn't the job of MN to constantly tell people "You're doing great, hon! xxx". Sometimes people need to be told they're in the wrong.

Oh goodness, another 'you're so mean on here' thread. Yes, sometimes people do get extra arsy, and yes the last year has seen people overreact or be total goady bastards over the virus/lockdown. However this whole idea that 'women should be nice to each other' has never been true. It's been even worse since the whole 'be kind' bullshit came about, reinforcing the idea that any woman who isn't nice to another person is some awful she-devil.

It's the internet. No one owes it to be 'nice' or delicate to anyone else or their situation. Considering many a situation written out on here is either highly embellished or straight up bullshit, posters quite rightly do have to have the sense to question an op if they think that's the case.

I completely agree with you. I don’t have so much of a problem with what’s happening in AIBU. If people want a place to rip into others and people are happy to start threads under those conditions, then so be it.

What I have a problem with is when people who regularly post this nastiness on AIBU start posting the same shit on other threads. I’m starting to see that happen more and more.

To those saying, well you don’t have to use this site, where do you suggest OP goes instead? Do bullies have more right to this site than other people?

Covid has sent quite a number of people batshit.

The problem is that constant threads pointing out how negative things are isn't likely to make them any less negative.

mn hq need a moaning about mn topic.
I never get why people who hate it so much stick arround.

are not going to make them less negative, before I'm arrested by the grammar police.

I do think it’s a self feeding problem as well, in the past people generally ignored the obvious obnoxious posts who want attention for attention purposes, as opposed to different opinions. People now get drawn in and the person wins as the thread takes the direction they want rather than the OPs original discussion.