Refusing to homeschool

[SonicTheSorryRabbit]

Curious about this...

How many parents have simply decided that they're not doing homeschooling? Either because they're wfh and can't balance that with homeschooling or because it's too much for their kids and making them miserable?

If you're not homeschooling, (i) are you getting a hard time from the school?; and (ii) what are your kids doing instead?

YABU - we're homeschooling.

YANBU - we never started/we've given up.

@Helspopje

Well, at least if they try to phone home to speak with me, they won’t get me as I’ll be at work. Perhaps they shouldn’t have declined my keyworker place (NHS consultant).

🤔 Who was looking after your primary age DC while you were at the hospital?!

So if I just explain that my kid refuses to do online work or I don't want to homeschool I can send him in? That would make my life so much easier. And if he goes in the other one may as well.

I must admit, I'm on the verge of giving up. Or at least taking a more 'liberal' approach. So far my kids (8 years old, twins) have done the school set work every day. But I'm 33 weeks pregnant, very hormonal, and the stress is taking its toll on all of us. We were all in tears today at one point or another. I am simply not equipped to 'teach' things to my children the way a professional is and they don't understand what I'm telling them - leading to frustration and upset. Last lockdown we did baking, gardening, STEM projects, art and this time the school's set work leaves me no time for anything else, even housework, let along fun stuff with the kids that they find engaging. I'm worried I'm ruining my relationship with my kids, which isn't ideal before a new baby arrives. And after today I think I need to prioritise my own mental health a bit more, not to mention avoid stress and possible premature labour! It's all a bit much!!

My child is online learning, finding it difficult to both of us doing long hours/different shifts, but if I don’t get that work uploaded by 3pm I get numerous phone calls, I’m finding it really overwhelming constantly explaining myself to them

I’m finding the biggest obstacle to homeschooling for us is my school aged child’s younger siblings. My son is 5 and cannot be left for a second to get on with any work I give him without wandering off and requires constant direction and encouragement. Meanwhile I have a 2 year old and a baby screaming for my attention in the other room. I don’t feel safe leaving my two younger children unsupervised to help my son but likewise cannot possibly expect my 5 year old to be able to think straight with 2 teething, grumpy, bored siblings to contend with if we’re in the same room. I also work. I am tearing my hair out with stress and guilt everyday about his schoolwork, his happiness, my other children’s happiness. It’s beyond difficult.

Probably just took the kids in with them @DartmoorWilderness. after all, no other alternatives.

If you don’t home school you are putting your child at a disadvantage when they return and possibly the rest of their education which would impact their outcomes. So simply choosing not to is poor parenting - and frankly should have consequences.

For those who are trying to do a version of the syllabus which suits their child and situation - fair play.

Ideas for those struggling that I’ve heard work:
Online classes set by school
Online grandparent story hour etc
Doing maths with cooking or baking
BBC bite size and even movie afternoon - and you ask questions about it after :)
Reading
Now spring - plants and vegetable experiments

Also in primary schools a lot of time is art, play, drama, music, sport and so on - so don’t think anyone should feel guilty if an hour of play or something. Movies are also common for a class or so in secondary.

Aldisla thank you. And yes you're right. We have so many vulnerable families we are trying to support. I've spent my lunch breaks delivering food parcels to our most vulnerable. I'm a single mum, my childcare option (parents) is no longer available.

Please let's be kind to each other. This whole thing makes me so so upset.

@Ebee19. But putting your job at risk because you're too busy with homeschooling and too tired to concentrate is also poor parenting.

I’m a primary teacher and the last lockdown did nothing to affect the children’s attainment or progress. In fact I think it did a lot of them good being with their parents so much.
If I had a primary aged child and I had to wfh, I’d be doing the bare minimum.

How can parents who work full time possibly be blamed because they can’t educate their kids on top of this?

I’m feel slightly ashamed of my homeschooling efforts, my 5 year old is a nightmare to get engaged, she just throws herself around screeching that she’s bored and starts playing up so we aren’t getting anywhere near enough done, although we are doing something every day and the school are providing home learning and to be fair it’s good. It’s me struggling to get my 5 year old (reception) engaged and try and care for my 3 year old as well

I know I need to do better, but short of losing my shit, she simply isn’t bothered

@Awalkintime

Je551ca lots of teachers are parents and are doing exactly that.

There are kids that struggle to engage in school too you know.

Doesn’t mean they are doing a good job at the home school part. I imagine many are doing what all working parents are having to do and putting their job first. Not other people’s kids, their job. Teachers are paid to teach for 7 hours a day. I am paid to do something else for 7 hours a day. I cannot do both myself the same as teachers cannot pick up my work so that I can teach.

This is nonsense or you must be referring to secondary. All of the primary schools in our area are not offering any live lessons nothing interactive at all. It is simply a suggestion weekly of what topics you might wish to cover and a request that you upload a couple of pics to class dojo. In no way is this monitored and there could not be any repercussions. The teachers dont have any ide who is doing what. I am working at home and am managing to do a few hours a day split between schools suggestions bitsize and other practical stuff like baking ect. We haven't uploaded anything. I simply dont have time and no one has checked up on my child. I am online with parents from all our locals schools and they are all the same.
There will be children they check up on but simply not sending staged photos of your child working isn't going to land any of us in trouble. There is no tangible way of monitoring correctly what is being done.

[quote SonicTheSorryRabbit]@Ebee19. But putting your job at risk because you're too busy with homeschooling and too tired to concentrate is also poor parenting.[/quote]
Yes. This. Having parents on the verge of a breakdown is far more damaging than missing school. The whole situation is hard enough for kids to deal with, they don’t need their home life ruined as well.

@ReginaPhalangee

No personal judgment from me at all because I know how hard it is but as a professional, I should tell you that failure to engage with remote learning is not an option. Learning remains statutory even at home so anybody not engaging will find there are consequences. We just had a full staff meeting about exactly this issue.

I think there is a lot of confusion in schools about the legal situation. It is school's responsibility to offer virtual learning but there is no mechanism to fine parents for non attendance at a virtual class, from a legal point of view.

During the period of the 7th January - 6th February 2021, s. 444 of the Education Act (1996) has been disapplied (source: assets.publishing.service.gov.uk/.../Education...).
This means that you cannot be fined for not sending a child who is registered at a school, to that school, during this time.

You continue to have a responsibility educate your child (technically it is always your responsibility, you discharge that by sending to school ordinarily unless a home educator) but that does not need to be by engaging with screen based schooling if that isn't proving suitable, for whatever reason. You could educate your child predominately at the weekend and evenings when you aren't working (for example) and never 'attend' a live lesson. You can also select work you think is more suitable if the work is too hard or too easy.

Now you may very well choose to help your child do school set virtual learning for all kinds of good reasons but it's not a legal requirement.

I applaud your honesty and realism

Section 444(1) and (1A) of the Act create offences relating to the failure of parents to secure regular attendance at school of a registered pupil...It remains a parent’s duty to ensure that their child of compulsory school age receives a suitable education in whatever way they can under section 7 of the Act and state-funded schools are required to provide remote education to pupils who are not attending in certain circumstances by virtue of the Coronavirus Act 2020 Provision of Remote Education (England) Temporary Continuity Direction 2020 made on 30th September 20203.

Sections 444A and 444B of the Act make provision for the issuance of
penalty notices where there is reason to believe a person has committed
an offence under section 444.

Ds high school i make sure he does all his main lessons but things like art drama music I don't force he should be picking his opticians this year an will drop them anyway so what's the point in arguing over them now. Dd5 does what's set not all in 1 go but over the week so might do some maths after tea she prefers todo it later when I've more time to help so aslong as its all done before the next week its fine. School have not mentioned anything about what happens if not done but there is alot more children attending school this time round maybe thats why.

I’m a primary teacher and the last lockdown did nothing to affect the children’s attainment or progress. In fact I think it did a lot of them good being with their parents so much.

Yes, last lockdown we did no formal school work (not compulsory school age then) and DC1s teacher said he'd come on "leaps and bounds". I think it was just more time at home and less time having to put effort in to behaving to pre-school standards/ following instructions. He just thrived.

I would suggest keep reading and number alive and moving along.Anything else is a bonus.

Let's stop bashing each other. The whole point here is that it is impossible to work from home and supervise home learning. I work full time, lone parent, and I do an hour with my year one daughter in the morning and an hour during lunch and a walk in the afternoon. The rest of the time is telly, colouring in or FaceTime with Granny for an hour. I wake early to work and work after she goes to bed. I'm exhausted and it's only week three!

And we've told school that due to work commitments DC won't be on the live lessons and they're fine with that. Live lesson 1 is at the same time as DHs work allocation meeting (which he leads). Live lesson 2 is his lunch break, where he has to cook for the 3 of them and eat and get DC2 down for her nap. DC1 won't sit at the live lesson unless we are with him.

@AbitSceptical I feel you. Please don't make other people make you feel bad. Especially the ones telling you their children have no other option.
Please put your child's mental health first and do speak to the school.
This time last year my DD was confident, outgoing and had many friends. The shit show of the last year has completely changed her. We've had times where she's become nocturnal, we've had periods of self-harming, we've had all sorts.
Through it all the school have been amazing. I'm in daily contact with the pastoral lead.
We are currently working back up towards a full svjool day. DD logs on first thing and this week is doing 2 lessons per day, last week it was 1. These are lessons she chooses herself. We're also ensuring she gets out for a short walk every day and she's involved in the cooking of tea.
She has a movie night with her dad at the weekend.
We are going to build up to a full day gradually and then hopefully start doing short times in school. They have always said that her mental health is the most important and there will be time to catch up. I recommend you speak to school.