Refusing to homeschool

[SonicTheSorryRabbit]

Curious about this...

How many parents have simply decided that they're not doing homeschooling? Either because they're wfh and can't balance that with homeschooling or because it's too much for their kids and making them miserable?

If you're not homeschooling, (i) are you getting a hard time from the school?; and (ii) what are your kids doing instead?

YABU - we're homeschooling.

YANBU - we never started/we've given up.

And many of us in my school are juggling our own children who are either in school (primary mostly) or remote learning, such as my secondary age son who is 13 and has to stay home alone every single day - for the first time in his life - whilst I go in and teach others. So I get it!!! I really do.

@Murmurur the higher achieving year 5s might but the low confidence below average ones (1/3 to 1/2 the class) will find it harder. Dtds put up a wall with maths. At school they’re currently getting top greater depth level but somehow that disappears without a teacher giving reassurance and my word is worth very little. This is after Saturday’s homework as in my previous post, dtds are in school (and I’m incredibly grateful they can be). Dd1 is year 8 and online learning at home but she can be left for a couple of hours (I’m not happy doing that with dtds)

Whilst ultimately some sort of education is in the best interests of the child I am inclined to agree with this:

“ Lots of schools basically abandoned kids in the first lockdown (despite some heroic work by individual teachers). They can fuck right off with threats of legal action now.”

We abandoned ship in the summer because it was all worksheets and whenever my dd asked for help I was completely incapable of giving understandable direction and instead spiralled into increasingly complicated descriptions, resulting in her regularly bursting into tears!

This time she has three live online sessions so has plenty of opportunity to get proper instruction from a qualified teacher, so no crying.

I miss the freedom of setting our own timetable (it’s hard to fit dog walking into daylight hours!) but it’s much better.

I feel for anyone trying to cope with less input from school, it was an absolute nightmare for us last time.

WFH covers a huge spectrum of different working patterns, hours, demands and roles though. Trying to homeschool and WFH is completely different for a parent with a full time professional office role who’s salary is needed to pay the mortgage, than a parent who does 2 hours per week on a hobby business and any earnings are extras for a few bonus luxuries.

I can’t see any of these cases going to court. The very first question by a judge would be to the school “did you do everything in your power to get engagement including offering a school place as a vulnerable child?”. Otherwise the courts will be overrun by about 4 million court cases where children missed a few zooms and didn’t submit twinkl sheets on 13th and 27th January. The court backlog is bad enough as it is!

@arethereanyleftatall

Yabu. But my dc are y5 & y7 so just get on with it with zero input from me.

really?? mine are 5 and 7 and do nothing without full on input from me,

NannyOgg please ask your school if they could supply you with some tech. We have done this for many and we have more on order now. And our community are donating to our school.

The expectations from schools were put in place because parents demanded them, and the DfE responded.

I think it's fine to give up- do what you have to, to survive, but don't expect your child's teachers to do extra to catch them up when schools return, and certainly don't expect any catch up in the holidays.

Not sure why so many parents are so stressed about this. Just do what you can.
I encourage my year 9 to log on to google classroom and try his best but he’s just not suited to online learning.
We’re living through a pandemic- education can be caught up on at a later date, people’s mental health and physical well being are far more important right now.

Oh, and if you don't engage at all- in terms of welfare phonecalls etc too, schools are told to treat this as a safeguarding risk.

@PlantMam

We abandoned ship in the summer because it was all worksheets and whenever my dd asked for help I was completely incapable of giving understandable direction and instead spiralled into increasingly complicated descriptions, resulting in her regularly bursting into tears!

This time she has three live online sessions so has plenty of opportunity to get proper instruction from a qualified teacher, so no crying.

I miss the freedom of setting our own timetable (it’s hard to fit dog walking into daylight hours!) but it’s much better.

I feel for anyone trying to cope with less input from school, it was an absolute nightmare for us last time.

I do this too!! It would take me several hours to explain a simple context and still DS would be looking at me

@blue25. Maybe some parents are giving up because it's going to go on for months. 18 hour days of homeschooling, childcare and working aren't sustainable for more than a week or so.

They can only do that if they deregister the child and forfeit the school place. You cannot remain registered with a school and not engage with their education attempts

Yes and no. Normally you forfeit the school place if you do not send your child to school. You are not legally obliged to engage with schools in other ways. Some schools make parents sign agreements about engagement, but the parent is not breaking any law if they fail to engage.

@queenofarles

Have you ever had a child who is supposed to be doing live lessons refuse to get out of bed? Be violent towards you? yes

Just lie on the floor with their head in their hands and refuse to respond to you? yes.

It’s not easy and it’s so stressful to all my 3dcs, but there is just no other option , they know it needs to be done, not to mention just how exhausted and burnt out I am!

Just this morning my eldest 14yr decided to nap at 10,30 which resulted in him missing two lessons and the school messaging me to inform of that.

You have totally contradicted yourself!

Your first post said 'I just feel unless the child has SN, then there is absolutely no way they can’t sit and join Live lessons.'

But then it turns out that your kid naps mid morning and the school messages you for missing two lessons.

Yes I agree with they can fuck right off with the threat of legal action. Offer no help, no income and then say they have no alternative. And no its not the same for teachers, they are being paid and not facing having their homes repossessed if they can't get income. Our school marks it unauthorised if you are not in the live lesson at the set time, but many children do not have own laptop - mine doesn't and also cannot log-on by himself so they are marking him unauthorised. I'm leaving it - its been a year of hiding problems and surviving off thin air and we need help.

I've got GC staying with me, he is year 11 so independent but I am in charge of dragging him out of bed and providing breakfast before school starts.

really?? mine are 5 and 7 and do nothing without full on input from me

Read the post again - Year 5 and Year 7, not 5 and 7!

We do a little each day, I think that 30-60 minutes of 1-2-1 can be as beneficial as a day of school. Target their weak areas, adapt exercises to make them more appealing.

Are we struggling? Yes
Are we doing everything the school asks? No
Are we progressing? Yes

It hasn't been easy but my dc have done all the work set for them both in the first lockdown and in this one so far. They're not overly happy about it but we haven't had any major battles.

Of course it does help that I'm a supply teacher and am not working due to the schools not being open as normal because I understand their work and know how to explain it. They're having some live lessons and then others are ppt presentations with worksheets and it all seems to be set at an appropriate level for them to access; the issue is with the technology and them actually being able to find, complete and hand in the work.

We're logging on by 8.30 every day and finishing by 3.30 but having a lot of breaks in between because I can only support one task at a time.

I think it would be much more difficult if they were teens or if we had a baby or toddler in the house.

MissLucyEyelsbarrow I am fully sympathetic with EVERYTHING you say but this is not what we in schools are now being fed by the govt - legislation is changing. It's a nightmare for us all but please don't pit the teachers against the parents, it won't help at all. We are all just trying to do what we are being asked to do.

Where we are, our DC just got a schedule of work to do. An odd video is sent but in general it is up to the parent to teach the child. Both my husband and I work full time. We are managing (just) but it is hard.

Schools sending out schedules and then calling the child vunerable because they can' t complete is ridiculous in my view. It is different if there are zoom lessons etc but if the teacher has left it up to the parent fully then how can they then complain? It is important for the child though and so that is why we are making sure it is all done.

please ask your school if they could supply you with some tech. We have done this for many and we have more on order now.

My school can't provide the children in school with sufficient tech to do the classes whilst there, I very much doubt they'll be able to send any home!

As a person who does twice weekly checks, we have 7 out of about 200 who are doing no homeschooling for various reasons. Two were eventually offered places for non-engagement and another two heard about it and had mums who are perfectly capable tell us they can't now cope and expect a place. We literally have no more physical places, they have no work to do, they just need to tell their children to suck it up and do it. I have explained that the government expectation is that children ARE doing learning in and out of school, but they literally said "If you want my child to be okay and learn something, you need to do it." Thankfully, our HT had a word with them and said that having another child at home and a tired parent does NOT make a child vulnerable. It was pretty upsetting when I was speaking to children we couldn't accept with parents working night shifts in the local ITU then doing homeschool all days.

@MissLucyEyelesbarrow

They can only do that if they deregister the child and forfeit the school place. You cannot remain registered with a school and not engage with their education attempts

Yes and no. Normally you forfeit the school place if you do not send your child to school. You are not legally obliged to engage with schools in other ways. Some schools make parents sign agreements about engagement, but the parent is not breaking any law if they fail to engage.

Exactly!

I'd be interested to see the legal basis on which a school would prosecute a parent for not engaging with home schooling! That is just ludicrous. As parents we are required to send our kids to school. If the school doesn't want the kids, our legal obligations do not extend to home learning, that's bonkers!!

We're coping well personally only because my yr4 child doesn't require any help at all and she works alongside my husband. My yr2 child works alongside me. It works because I'm on mat leave with our youngest. It's not easy as I have a preschooler too and our youngest has additional care needs but we manage. We're lucky that both our oldest are v keen to engage with the school work. If I was working like I did in the first lock down (ridiculously busy) I wouldnt bother and would probably send them to school (Keyworker status).

Sorry for the typo in your name