Be honest. Have you sent your kids to school when they could have stayed at home?

[Witchcraftandhokum]

I left my job in education before Christmas mostly because of the governments appalling response to Covid in schools and anti-teacher sentiment generally so I haven't really got a vested interest. But I'm curious, after speaking to my ex-colleagues and friends who work in other schools there seems to be a dramatic take-up on the offer of places for vulnerable students and children of Key-workers compared to the last lockdown.

The numbers in my old school during the last lockdown made it hardly worth opening the school, this time they're at capacity and are having to bring extra staff in at a risk to themselves. In my friend's child's class there are 21 out of 32 currently attending.

What's going on?

Our kids are at home. Granted, 2 are home schooled anyway, but I hated every second of having to send my oldest in after the first lockdown, but we had to (on pains of a fine). I'm glad the school is closed again. My oldest, for that time, was the only risk factor in our family- we work from home, get food deliveries, or shop local with social distancing, and having to send him in REALLY got to me, especially as my partner is clinically vulnerable. I'm dreading the inevitable point where we are once again ordered by that psycho government to send kids back to school before the danger has passed.

My child is in school while I am at work because his Dad has completely unravelled after losing his job in lockdown. I am sure everyone is judging us, because on the surface there is a parent at home, but the simple fact is that his Dad gets really angry about everything from Boris Johnson to the way they do long division, and can’t cope with even accessing the online learning apps without having a shouty meltdown.

I can happily go to work though, knowing my child is safe at school with kind rational normal adults who will encourage him to engage with the curriculum, rather than swearing about the government and turning off Google classroom to watch conspiracy videos on YouTube. You might think I am ‘taking advantage’ or careless of the covid risk but, having weighed everything up, I know I would be letting my child down if I left him at home.

I am beyond grateful that the school gave my child a place, without even having to explain all this to them.

My son is Year 11 and has an EHCP and yes he’s in, it’s a secondary school with 20 kids in at the moment.

@Greenygrape of course it’s never 100% cut and dried. I’m just saying that fundamentally as a society we are conditioned to do what we feel is best for us as an individual - and as a family. And so in a large, large number of cases, that transpires to doing what is going to make our lives easier as an individual or family, whatever that may be.

Including, in many cases, taking up a school keyworker place when only one parent is a keyworker but the other works from home (or is a SAHM, or whatever). It’s selfish. But no more selfish than anything else, as you say.

Arguably, of course, the ‘selfish’ definition also includes those who ate out to help out and those who went to the playground and those who went Christmas shopping and those who had parties and those who just had granny over on Christmas Day because they couldn’t bear the idea of her being on her own and you could go on and on and on forever.

We are human beings, we are all fundamentally selfish. The entirety of society is selfish. Which is why there are so many kids in schools now, and why lockdown will never work properly, and why there are so many people breaking rules in a thousand tiny ways all over the place: we all want to take care of number one before we think about everyone else.

@GonnaBeYoniThisChristmas my DH works 6am-10am and then 2pm onwards and homeschools in the middle, if that cheers you up at all.

I am sick of reading about how the burden of all this falls disproportionately on women but no-one ever says it's because useless men allow that to happen.

I work for an aerospace company, I think I'm critical if you are very generous with the definition. But I'd be so embarrassed to ask for a school place, they know full well I'm a part time accountant

@GibbertyFlibbet

It absolutely does my head in though that this has boiled down to a set up where some people get to choose “what is best for me and my family” based on what their job is.

KW provision should be to enable someone to do their job because they would not be able to work without it. That’s it.

This thread gives me comfort that we’re not the only KW keeping DC home despite the costs to us all.

Of course there are families where there’s no choice but for children to be in school, for lots of the reasons highlighted on this thread. And that’s fine, and that’s why it’s right that schools have to be open.

But there are lots of others, including plenty I know in real life in situations more or less identical to ours, who are sending kids in because they can. They then get to do their work in peace and within reasonable hours, not having to homeschool or make sure kids get exercise and human contact, having weekends and evenings for family time and housework and who then on top of all those massive benefits want me to agree that they’re doing the right thing because the juggle which is grinding me and my family into the ground somehow wasn’t an option for them.

This absolutely...

Anyone who replies to this with: I could keep my kids at home but...
They would get a worse education
They would sit in front if screens for 10 hours
I wouldn't have time to get my work done
They wouldn't get to see their friends
They would be isolated and depressed

This is exactly what everyone without the KW places is dealing with and every CF taking the piss is just prolonging it for everyone who is doing the right thing.

Ridiculous but I have because I am a teacher. We have to do our full timetable of live lessons plus a lunchtime tutorial, so no way I can also supervise my own kids. Makes me so mad that by looking after other kids, my kids have to either be left unsupervised and unable to work or go to school

DS is in school. He has an EHCP and is better off in school. He could have stayed at home with me and his siblings, but he’s vulnerable to falling way behind. Especially when I can’t give him my full attention.
His school had his category held at top priority and they rang up to offer him a place, and me and his teacher both agreed it is in his best interests to be in school.

@noneedtocry not prolonging anything. The idea that keeping more kids out of school will mean all kids can go to school quicker was disproved last year. It made no difference.

@Teacherontherun spare a thought for us parents also WFH all day and unable to do the same for our kids OR send them into school. But I do appreciate your honesty, because teachers are using keyworker provision more than they let on.

No, I could have but dc are not at critical years.although with little one it's hell trying to home school her, we are neck deep in the sinking sand...

We are in dire trouble and there is no way I'm exposing her to others in school nor open up our family exposure nor wanting to expose teachers.

This mama I agree, our psycho government with psycho like jenny harries saying teachers are not at risk, but admits children are massive infection and drivers.

Hopefully the unions will keep up the pressure and keep them closed

But there are lots of others, including plenty I know in real life in situations more or less identical to ours, who are sending kids in because they can. They then get to do their work in peace and within reasonable hours, not having to homeschool or make sure kids get exercise and human contact, having weekends and evenings for family time and housework and who then on top of all those massive benefits want me to agree that they’re doing the right thing because the juggle which is grinding me and my family into the ground somehow wasn’t an option for them.

Exactly. This is exactly what upsets people.

2 KW family - dcs kept at home as we can work the homeschooling out between us. We’re not critical workers and I feel we were branded ‘key worker’ very easily by our employers tbh. I do hope schools open after Feb as both dcs are missing the social aspect of school a lot.

teachers are using keyworker provision more than they let on.

Where do you think our children are when we are in school, working with the students who have to be there?

I guess it depends on how you define ‘could’.

I could have kept my Y7 twins at home, but school said as they’re in a special needs class they have provisions for them to go in - the rest of the year is not. I think there’s about 15-20 of them in. There are two adults at home - I am working full time and DH is doing home school stuff with Y4 DS. DH is extremely dyslexic and terrible on the computer so I have to submit all work at the end of the day anyway and sometimes offer guidance. DS3 is pretty bright and self-sufficient.

I am considered a key worker, but I haven’t sent younger DS in as it’s not fair on anyone when we can cope with him at home.

@EmilySpinach this person is working from home teaching! Also my sil teachers and sends her baby and other child to nursery even though she's on extended mat leave.

I'm just saying, there are a lot of teachers that complain about parents sending children in but they do the same.

For what it's worth I don't think that anyone should be expected to work and homeschool simultaneously, not for more than a few weeks.

Yes and no. One home and one at school. Both have places due to SEN but their needs/well-being are best served this way. It would also be awful having both home, both can’t work independently and they fight a lot. This is the case for many non SEN kids so I can see why the uptake is higher. The online teaching is minimal, less than an hour a day, and there’s no support for kids who struggle. The only kids benefitting are those who work well independently and already ahead of the class.

There are about 2 to 3 kids in my class of 12 whose parents are sitting at home doing nothing so it’s happening. Just don’t expect people to admit it!

There are different things going on re this even within govt.

I'm a civil servant, technically a key worker, but wfh. Work told us we could get letters from them to get key worker places but said this should only be done if we had no other option. I only know one person at work who us doing this - she argues it's because she's on her own during day while husband at work. To be honest she should keep her son home. My two are both at home but my DH is around and doing the lions share of home schooling. Other colleagues are keeping kids home, a few have changed their hours to accommodate it. Work is generally being pretty flexible to enable people to keep kids home. A friend works for another govt department where the messaging and provision for flexibility very different: basically use the key worker provision, don't take any time off. I think that's pretty awful behaviour given all civil servant are wfh at the most. This friend is still sending her 2 younger kids to school, secondary age daughter staying at home. Her DH is also a civil servant, also wfh.

I have another friend in similar position but arguably being more cheeky as her husband not a key worker at all (just a busy job and won't step up to the plate on home schooling front) and she works part time - kids in every day despite that including on a day she booked off!

I am so fuming I could not join a zoom chat with this group of friends the other night. Their behaviour is selfish in the extreme. Second friend argues she cannot work properly with kids around. What makes her so bloody special? Others are putting up with it, so should she

I think many parents with jobs you cannot do from home, who were furloughed last lockdown but aren't now, are in an impossible situation and I think at my kids school this accounts for most of the extra children in, but there are def middle class piss takers out there making it worse. I know at least 3

My 5 year old is with grandparents while I’m at work as a Secondary TA, I could have had a keyworker place but declined due to having grandparents who offered and wanting to protect my child and her teachers/TA’s as much as possible. In my school however we have many more children in than the first lockdown, however this mainly seems to be driven by the school leadership encouraging parents to send their children in to increase their attendance figures rather than parents sending them in when they don’t need to be.

Yes my DD has mild SEN I'm a key worker with a neurological condition and DDs father works a very stressful key worker job.
It's better for DD to be at school we tried the last lockdown for as long as possible but she became really withdrawn her learning suffered for her it's better she goes to school.

@EmilySpinach

teachers are using keyworker provision more than they let on.

Where do you think our children are when we are in school, working with the students who have to be there?

I support teachers using key worker provision, but the cognitive dissonance here is pretty high. Why do so many understand that teachers can't teach with younger or sen kids at home, but assume that other key workers WFH are taking the piss if they send kids in?

@breadwidow I only know one person at work who us doing this - she argues it's because she's on her own during day while husband at work. To be honest she should keep her son home. My two are both at home but my DH is around and doing the lions share of home schooling

So... She should keep her kids at home with her when she's on her own during the day, even though you are presumably busy enough that your DH manages the homeschooling?

My DD's are at home when they could be in school.

We decided to keep them home even though I'm out of the house most days and DH is working from home.

They do their home schooling in dribs and drabs during the day and then we complete things in the evenings when I get in.

The don't NEED to be in school so we feel it's safer for everyone to have them at home.

It's bloody hard and sometimes stressful but at this moment in time, I feel it's for the best.