It's a CMS one

[2020canfuckitself]

Received my annual review from CMS today. Fantastic need!

Payments have been put down to £5 per week for 3 children, down from £25! This is after the csa have already quashed it debt of £15,000.

Why are they allowed to just walk away from the responsibility of providing for their children? Why are they allowed to continue to have more kids, leaving the ones they already have in utter poverty?

Why are they allowed to cook the books when they a self employed? He's driving around in a brand new car, always dressed in the latest clothes, holidays etc.. total dick.

Now I'll have to start working more double shifts to make up the shortfall, meaning my kids suffer even more.

Just ranting, I'm sure I'll get over it

Ive not long received a letter stating that I will be going from £5 a week (which I never receive) to nothing!

Yes it is child neglect, my exs debt was wiped as well.
They did it to alot of RPs, It makes the CMS figuires look better if some of the debt magically disappears.
They changed their name from CSA to CMS and thought that would solve the failures in not getting the money that was owed to RPs, but they are still absolutely useless and actually corrupt wiping debt owed to RPs.

I had the letter from CSA when they were changing over to CMS but they asked if I was willing to write off the arrears he owed. I said no and chased it up. Took over a year. When it became CMS they added his arrears on but they're still chasing him for regular payments as he goes from jobs to benefits and the payments he's missed since don't seem to be added on to the arrears. For a brief period he was getting it deducted from benefits so basically £7 per week, using collect and pay. Now he's apparently employed and the payment was cut off mid December but even though they have the details on their system from HMRC to confirm that he's in employment (after a big lag) they will still take weeks to deduct it from his pay again. He dropped out of any contact Xmas 2019 with an excuse then total silence until now. He's missed two Christmases and 2 birthdays. And those payments cut off just mid December this year after fighting so hard to get anything have been another kick in the teeth. CMS aren't equipped to do anything but waste time, miscalculate or fail to add to arrears even given all information you can possibly provide with zero contact with the NRP.

givemeabreak as is often said on here it's not a race to the bottom. Is great that you did it alone but you shouldn't have had to and no-one is lucky to get something because you got nothing. It's bad enough when nrps don't work so that they can't pay, but Self employed ones who diddle the figures are appalling and should be jailed.

@indemMUND mine never pays when it's birthdays or Christmas. He didn't pay me a couple of times because he gave them pocket money 🙈

OMG!! so wish the CMS was like the American system, its worse when the dads are self employed, they know how to play the system, wish i could afford a private detective to catch the little f*rs out!!!!
The government keeps saying they're short of money well they need to pull their fingers out and pass a law to make if compulsory for self employed to cough up, Ba*ds!!

Something needs to change, i say we should gather signatures to change the rules of the way in which so called fathers or rather don't provide for their kids

Ah yes. The old £5 a week. That was awarded to my DM for us three kids when my dad was fiddling his books.

Youd think the system would have improved in 25 years, but no.

@Youseethethingis

Id wager more NRP would pay more if they knew the money was being spent on the children instead of being thrown into the RP household pot. That’ll be the household pay that pays for the roof over their heads, the electricity and water they use, the food in their bellies etc etc. Stupid post.

This.

@Coseynightin

Id wager more NRP would pay more if they knew the money was being spent on the children instead of being thrown into the RP household pot.

50/50 should be the default and then this does not happen.

I bet when together though also you benefited from his self employed status.

Its not just the money is it? The audacity for you to come on a thread over £25 is a disgrace.

Who ever has the children is responsible for all the school holidays, inset days and sick days.

Either parent can apply to the Courts for 50/50 or what ever child arrangement order they would like.

Another one here with a nil assessment. Went all the way challenging it through the court, could not prove that ex's ~5k/month typical expenditure (varying, but not disputed on average) is not from family cash gifts as claimed.

He pays £1/month. Calls it "a token appreciation payment". I think he received an advice from somewhere about it, just to show that he was paying CM.

Id wager more NRP would pay more if they knew the money was being spent on the children instead of being thrown into the RP household pot.

That’ll be the household pay that pays for the roof over their heads, the electricity and water they use, the food in their bellies etc etc.
Stupid post.

That's the whole mindset of the Disney dad, though. They get kudos and appreciation from the kids when they buy them something tangible and fun for birthdays/Christmas/holidays, but when it comes to all the boring yet essential things that children don't have any appreciation of, like electricity, water bills, everyday food etc., they simply don't want to know, as the child won't give them the pathetic admiration that they crave for their 'amazing kindness' in being a 'fantastic dad'.

It must take somebody who is extremely nasty, extremely stupid or possibly both to think that, just because a boring essential household bill is dealt with directly by the RP, and isn't 'fun' for the kids (although they would very quickly miss it if it suddenly weren't available), it somehow 'isn't being spent on the children'. Do these people not spend money on boring bills for their own homes?

It would be wonderful if we could all spend all of our money on lovely treats, but any adult with a modicum of sense and fairness will realise that, for the average person, the majority of your family money will go on things that are anything but treats, but totally unavoidable if you want a safe, habitable house.

Also, I hate to have to say, OP, but as things are obviously very tight - solely because this disgraceful man has decided that he wants to neglect his own children in favour of buying needlessly expensive luxuries for himself - you're going to need to cut more like £87 a month from your current budget. Otherwise those extra two or three days at the end of each month (except February) will bite you even more fiercely

coseyfin - there are extremes of all scales.

SM here - no CB, no fsm, no uc, nothing
Maintenance £250pcm for 2 DCS who are with me 99% of the time. Last had an ON with Dad in June 2020!

£3000 per annum £1500 per child - growing teens one child in the last year has gone from a size 7 to size 11 in shoe sizes.

Trainers, football boots, school shoes and one other pair bought 3 times last year - conservative £150 each time - £450 - his share £225

Clothes - school uniform £350 his share £175
Sports kit - £100 his share £50
Other clothes - £300 his share £150

Are you getting the message - £600 his share just to clothe them and i think that is under estimated.

Sports lessons - eg swimming ( Ex insists on) £600 his share £300
Other sport subs £200 his share £100

So £1000 just gone - vanished into thin air
Phone - £25 pcm his share £12.50 - £125
Laptop - word, adobe, internet security, maintenance etc - £70
etc etc

£1200 already gone

Ever fed a teenager on £150 per annum!

None of the above is luxury - basics of keeping a child. I do not feel OPs pain in terms of money, but the label you give is insulting to those who provide and care for their children whilst some dead beat waste of space neglects their offspring- that is male or female.

Did not benefit of EXs salary pre split- because I earned more than he did but we both benefited from a very nice lifestyle which he and his new DP want to have but can not afford if appropriate maintenance was paid.

I do not need the monies he gives me but I take it and save it for them for later. They are at an age where they know what goes on and has gone on - their derision for their DF is now open and their hatred of his DP completely justified. She wanted a life that she saw we had - not realising that the basis for that was me and him combined not just him!

Oh and EX earns in excess of £110K per annum

ZOMBIE THREAD*. Start your own thread. Dont reply to an old one. Its confusing.

I’ve had a pound in 24 years

A full pound-he threw it at me,stood waiting for me to bend down to pick it up and walked out

He told anyone who would listen that ‘she’ll only spend it on herself’!

I mean kids are free-they don’t cost much at all…

I on the other hand cost a fortune and would have spent any cash on myself (not)

Csa where worse than useless-they couldn’t seem to find him even though I gave them everything-his ni number,his address, job and his inside leg measurements (or so it felt like)

The kids just kept falling off the system-how they could lose 6 kids I don’t know but they managed it

They just didn’t want to know even though I complained endlessly

He went on endless holidays,had nice clothes,only drank Costa coffees and drove a good van etc

He has the nerve to act shocked when one by one,they didn’t ‘come find him’ when they where older (all my fault-I’ve poisoned them against him apparently)

(Well one did-briefly-she was holding his iPad when he came up behind her and shouted ‘boo!’ She dropped it,shattering the screen and he tried to get her/me to pay for a new one-not a new screen-a new iPad-she told him to take it out of the csa money he hadn’t paid for her and walked out)

The system is a joke-it’s built by men,for men