AIBU to think that teachers who are parents of girls favour girls?

[froggydoggy]

And teachers who have boys favour boys?

My son is having a zoom lesson with his teacher, over the last couple of weeks I've noticed that she speaks to and asks the girls questions far more than she acknowledges the boys. My ds is a clever boy, puts his hand up when asked etc. But barely ever gets chosen, nor do any of the other boys. The teacher is the parent of three girls.

I have a much older child and over the years have noticed that teachers often seem to treat children who are the same sex as their own favourably.

From your experiences AIBU?

It could be that, or it could be that she is aware that in mixed sex settings girls are often marginalised and is trying to compensate?

This is absolute bollocks. Come on now.

My DS is primary age if that makes a difference.

@pepsicolagirl

This is absolute bollocks. Come on now.

Good response

Well I don’t like any of my students irrespective of gender. Joking!!

I don’t think I do it consciously but I guess sometimes I come across a student who reminds me of my own lovely little boy, so maybe that’s it?

I’ve met lots of great students over my time and I hope they all feel valued and included, as far as I can make them anyway.

@OfTheNight

Well I don’t like any of my students irrespective of gender. Joking!!

I don’t think I do it consciously but I guess sometimes I come across a student who reminds me of my own lovely little boy, so maybe that’s it?

I’ve met lots of great students over my time and I hope they all feel valued and included, as far as I can make them anyway.

Yes, this is how I imagine the bias to occur, I don't think it's deliberate but it can be demoralising for some.

Did you know that there are studies which show that males believe that women have equal speaking time at around 30% of the conversation. Any more than this and they genuinely perceive it as women dominating the speaking time.
(This was from a study which I can't find, but the DM has one from Princeton which says only 25%, sorry that it's DM link: www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2205502/amp/The-great-gender-debate-Men-dominate-75-conversation-conference-meetings-study-suggests.html)
Perhaps in the classroom things are very different to what you are seeing over zoom.

I have never noticed anything like that

What a load of rubbish!

Mine go to an all boys state school so I guess if people don't like boys they don't teach there. I would imagine most teachers are more professional than you suggest though.

Perhaps as @Draineddraineddrained said some teachers do overcompensate. However I have had experience with teachers who obviously love boys, I'm convinced it's when they're reminded of their own.

Some classes are dominated by boys or very boy heavy. She's probably trying to redress the balance. When teachers ask children to put their hands up to answer a question they are using this for assessment and dealing with misconceptions etc so they are picking certain children for a reason.

We don't pick the children we like to answer a question. We pick the ones who we need to check their understanding, the ones who don't often put their hand up and we want to encourage them to do it more often.

It mightened be a bad thing if she did. I think it's fairly well acknowledged that women speak far less in meetings than men; and I've noticed that if there's a mixed group of adults chatting socially, the chat will either be about general things, or 'male' things. So, the women defer to the topics the men want to speak about. Also, I'm an MSA at the moment, and in the playground, the football playing boys take up 90% of the space and the majority of the girls and non football boys shuffle round the edges. So, maybe it's not a bad thing to address the balance.

I have 2 girls.... If anything I will ask boys more as they are often overshadowed by girls, especially at A level.

I don't think I've ever considered selecting a student as they are anything like my own.

We implement Hands Down Questioning in our lessons, and use randomisers to choose students. It's literally as fair as it could possibly be.

This is absolute bollocks. Come on now

Totally this.

Clearly we've all got too much time to sit at home and be with our thoughts just now but really OP, come on

Have you ever considered since your son is bright they are choosing the students who might not be as bright to answer questions. That's how it tends to go

Absolutely not! What about teachers who don’t have their own children?
Teachers generally will chose who answers based on their knowledge of the children , checking understanding, boosting confidence etc

Have you considered the fact that the teacher might be trying to redress the balance a little bit? Girls, and then women, are spoken over and ignored in favour of men, socially and in the workplace, on a near constant basis. Teaching them at a young age that their voices and opinions matter is vital.

Boys here everywhere, all the time, from everyone, that their voices and opinions are the most important in the room. It's important that they learn that that isn't the case, and in an education setting, where girls can often fall through the cracks, or simply not have their aspirations set high enough, that deficit has the potential to set them back for life.

It has nothing to do with teachers having daughters, except of course that the parents of little girls might be more likely to understand that the deck can be stacked against them, and more aware of their duty to redress the balance where they can.

I couldn't disagree more with those of you who say that it's ok for the teacher to attempt balance by being bias towards the boys and I say this as a feminist. Feminism is a movement in favour of equality within society, in order for this to be achieved teachers need to be fair.

My DS's class is a small class of 16 children, the boys are quite geeky and not the boisterous type at all. Why should young children regardless of sex be penalised for society's problems on an individual basis? This gender bias is making my shy child lose confidence.
I also resent the fact that people seem to assume that all boys are boisterous and command the classroom, this is also blatant sexism and in some instances undoubtedly self fulfilling prophecy. As a mother to two daughters it is clear to me that dominance is down to personality, not sex.

@froggydoggy

And teachers who have boys favour boys?

My son is having a zoom lesson with his teacher, over the last couple of weeks I've noticed that she speaks to and asks the girls questions far more than she acknowledges the boys. My ds is a clever boy, puts his hand up when asked etc. But barely ever gets chosen, nor do any of the other boys. The teacher is the parent of three girls.

I have a much older child and over the years have noticed that teachers often seem to treat children who are the same sex as their own favourably.

From your experiences AIBU?

If this pisses you off so much, take it up with the teacher.

My ds is a clever boy, puts his hand up when asked etc. But barely ever gets chosen, nor do any of the other boys
Clever and confident kids don't get chosen as much because there isnt much of a need for it. They know the answer, the teacher know they know and they are confident enough to be happy to share their knowledge.

My eldest was rarely asked to respond for this reason. My youngest is very clever, knew the answer almost each time but is also very introverted and shy so was asked more often.

I make a conscience effort to try and include all, and not let certain kids monopolise the discussion, regardless of sex

No. In my experience teachers who are mothers of boys have more understanding patients towards some boys behaviour.
DS has SN he is very challenging.
DD OTOH always is a pleasant child with a lovely nature I know who I'd rather teach.